Stop It! You're Not Getting My Fucking Money!

The BBQ Pit
1

It’s grovel time for NPR affiliates around the country and my local station is no exeception. They’re pulling out all the stops as usual to try and get me to cough up my money and support them, but I’m not going to do it. Why? I mean, I do enjoy some of the programming they offer, so I should kick some dough their way, right? And if they simply aired NPR/PRI/BBC produced programming, I’d send 'em a check. But they don’t. No, they’ve decided to produce their own programming and it’s so mind-numbingly bad that the thought of any of my money encouraging them to continue to do so is enough for me to want to retch.

The shows in question (and in no particular order of repugnancy):

The Fine Print with Rebecca Bain– Ms. Bain occassionally interviews writers, occassionally she takes an NPR interview, slices out the NPR interviewer and splices herself in. The authors profiled on this show are generally “One Hit Wonders” of the publishing world. Authors who have one book that hits the best-seller list and are deservedly forgotten when the book drops off the charts. Authors with anything interesting or controversial to say, need not apply. Of course, to Ms. Bain the hacks that she does interview are literary lions and every word they speak or write should be lapped up with enthusiasm. And no interview would be complete without Ms. Bain’s on-air orgasm. That’s right, orgasms broadcast on an NPR affiliate. Ms. Bain starts her interviews out calmly enough, but as they progress, she gets more and more excited, her pitch rising higher and higher, until at the end of the interview when the hack reads from his work one last time, she’s reached a level of incoherence that leads me to believe she’s fisting herself.

The Songwriter Sessions– Does for the music world what Ms. Bain’s program does for the literary world. One song that I happened to catch part of while I was diving for the off-switch of the radio still haunts me nearly two years later. Here’s the lyrics;

Folks, we’re in fucking Nashville!!! You know? Music City, USA??? And you guys can’t find someone better than some hackneyed street musician to put on the air!?!

Surprisingly enough, they have killed the worst program of them all: Mainstream Drive. Imagine, if you will, HAL 9000 being given a radio show. That’ll give you some idea of the level of emotion in the hosts voices as they did the program. It did such exciting segments as travelling to the gas station where some escaped convicts bought their last meal as free men: bologna sandwiches. The story, naturally focused on the sandwiches, and concluded with the line, “MMM. That’s good bologna.”

So folks, as long as you insist on producing programs that have as much appeal to me as licking the post-coital spunk off a wooly mammoth’s testicles you can forget about my ever sending you money.

2

If I had money, I’d pledge to WQED (Pittsburgh public radio affiliate). They’re the only classical station around, they have excellent programming, and during Pledge Week, they play all kinds of neat stuff.

You need to move to Pittsburgh. WQED kicks ass.

3

I’ve read a lot of disturbing stuff on this board (for instance about 75% of lieu’s posts). This ranks as one of the most vividly disgusting.

4

You have my sympathy. The public radio station here is excellent and plays classical music, and just the write balance of NPR and local content. KUHF, http://www.kuhf.org/ … and they play Hearts of Space, my favourite radio show. You may have heard Engines of Our Ingenuity on your station… well, the guy that makes it is at the University/station here.

Anyway, I’m a member. I signed up when they had their pledge drive last month. It’s pretty much all I listen to.

5

Thanks, when I conceived of this thread, that phrase just popped into my head and for a while I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to work it into the OP, but I managed to find a way. :smiley:

6

right balance… ugh. Something is going severely wrong in my brain.

7

I don’t know if this is just your area, or what. I do a lot of driving around the Wisconsin/Iowa area, and the NPR stations around here are consistently good. I’ve gotten in the habit of not even bothering to pack CDs, as the Sunday afternoon trip is usually full of good entertainment. I actually look forward to getting out of work Sunday nights when they’re playing Wild Rose Cafe and Hearts of Space (“mellow” instrumental music specials).

The grovelling is irritating, but having two weeks of begging a year sure beats commercials and crappy content all year round. My dial scarcely moves away from NPR. (Usually only on evenings with jazz. As much as I try to like it, I don’t care to listen to it most of the time.) I mean, have you heard some of the crap on morning radio shows? shudder Give me the Morning Report any day.

8

I feel the same way. My NPR station plays ATC, and lots of NPR syndicated music and shows, but sees fit to fill its days with the same old uninspired classical music. As in, spanish guitar, operas, and the classic standards. Exactly the opposite of what I want, I want early and baroque, with some deep classical and maybe a little 20thj century russian classical (but not piano, which they also love to play)

So, I would be perfectly happy giving to NPR, but not to this station if its going to encourage them to be so bad.

(oh, i’m in orlando, our station is 90.7 wmfe)

9

Say, Homebrew, you wouldn’t mind if at some point in the future I used your comment (properly credited, of course) as a sig, would ya?

10

My favorite is “Adventures in Good Music” (I think that’s it!) which plays clips and gives information on them. Last night they did “Have We Met?” Basically, it was about pieces that sound almost the same, but were written independent of one another. It’s neat.

Or the New Years Day Vienna concert (All Strauss) hosted by Walter Cronkite himself?

11

Gonna sit right down and write out a check to my local NPR station, along with a note demanding that they pick up The Fine Print with Rebecca Bain. Laughed so hard I almost soiled myself.

12

Feel free. I never said anything anyone wanted to quote before.

13

Listen to WCPE, Classical 24 hours a day and completely listener supported, no gov’t money and no corporate sponsors or commercials.

You can listen to them over the net, which is good since I no longer live in Raleigh.

14

Oh, let me add another reason why these bozos won’t be getting any money from me. On election night, they had zero coverage of it. Nevermind that the voters in TN were going to the polls to pick a new governor and whether or not to amend the state’s constitution to allow for a state lottery, there was nothing on the FM station they operate. I can’t say about the AM station, however, since I can’t listen to it after dark because despite the fact that I’m two towns over from where the transmitter’s located, they insist on backing down on the signal once the sun goes down to the point where none of my radios will pick it up, even though they have no trouble doing so during the daytime!

15

I’m sitting here trying to come up with scenarios in which someone might have been forced to quote you against their will. Not having much luck with it, either.