The new fellatio-mimicing lollipop!

[AntaresJB]

You guys seen these? It's called a Fr-Ooze Pop. Made by Au'some Candies, apparently a mainstream novelty candy maker. Their offical page for it is HERE. But what they don't make clear from the drawing there is this lollipop's uncanny ribbed-dildo-like qualities... and not to mention the fact that you lick it, then you squeeze it, and goo comes out of a hole in the tip. WTF?!?!

This page has some better photos of this apparent bj training tool.
And This page has a shot of the disturbing instructional label...

(I would have posted my own pictures of the one I had, but my cam's broken and.. I ate it. The candy, not the cam.)

Imagine my surprise when my ex roommate showed up at my door with one of these! I laughed my butt off, so I had to run out and buy one myself... Anyone else find this incredibly disturbing?! I'm gonna go get more tomorrow.

[happyheathen]

Do these come with the Harry Potter vibrating broom?

The perfect purchase to accompany the little ones' first bras.

[TVGuy]

You have to admit that this would make for interesting conversation when you start licking on it during lunch break at work....

[Arden Ranger]

If I order them online, do you suppose they will arrive in a plain brown wrapper?

[Washte]

Practice makes perfect??

[mobo85]

They're very controversial in Singapore because of their phallic similarity.

[japatlgt]

The world would be a much more interesting place if it were obsessed with fellatio, no? Capitalism! Ya gotta love it!

[SCSimmons]

Let's start a pool on how long it'll be before this little sweet will have its own Usenet binary group!

[Lucretia]

Someone should let Kay Kay's secret santa know about this.

[Xavier]

japatlgt: The world would be a much more interesting place if it were obsessed with fellatio, no? Capitalism! Ya gotta love it!

Speaking as a communist sympathiser, I say if it doesn't work in a union, dig a hole in the ground and dispose of the bodies. Untidily of course.

[Boyo Jim]

I suggest a design improvement:

Make the candy covering thicker at the tip. Pump in the gooey stuff under pressure. The reward, after several minutes lcking and probing at the tip, is an explosion of sweet goo, and the deflation of the shell.

More realistic.

[jmpride62]

Originally posted by yojimboguy
I suggest a design improvement:

Make the candy covering thicker at the tip. Pump in the gooey stuff under pressure. The reward, after several minutes lcking and probing at the tip, is an explosion of sweet goo, and the deflation of the shell.

More realistic.

So, is it safe to swallow?

[TVGuy]

... and what I really want to know is what happens when the come out with - er, introduce, the versions that are filled with:

White chocolate
Banana cream
etc.....

[SCSimmons]

What's the point, jmp, if you don't swallow?

[Miss Magic8ball]

I don't think we get those here in canada...

[Muffin]

I foresee the next generation of women complaining that their boyfriends just don't taste right.

[AntaresJB]

A note on the flavors.. I haven't yet gotten up the courage to try the blue/purple one (whatever flavor it is), the color just seems... so unnatural.. I had the orange-peach one yesterday (the instruction images were eerily flesh-colored)... today tried the strawberry and cherry ones. Yummy. I may never go back to penis again! (surely there must be a man somewhere who's disappointed at this.. anyone? anyone?)

[Boyo Jim]

Well, AntaresJB, IMHO if this candy takes off, for every woman who gives up on penises, two or three others will be inspired to try them.

[Flamsterette_X]

Oh my. That reminds me of the lollipop my mother bought for me when I was in the eighth grade. That was onlyu oddly shaped like a.. well, you know. In fact, I made the perhaps unwise decision to bring it to school. It occasioned this comment from my friend Troy's brother Todd and his friends:

"Are you practicing for me / us?" (depending on whether it was Tood or a few of his friends asking)

Nope, definitely not! (and I was still sufficiently sheltered then to NOT know what they ewre referring to, though I had a vague idea)

F_X

[Flamsterette_X]

Darn typos. Of course I meant "Todd" and "were" in my last post. Sigh.. the war against the typo is never fully won, even if this did have a spellcheck program. *goes off to inform Spoz of this post.. and watches him run in horror away from her *

he has some kind of thing against spellcheck; I never quite figured out what

F_X

[Spoz]

um... er...
no comment.. :-)

[Muad'Dib]

I once heard about this girl who got diabetes after eating about thirty of these and had to got to the hospital where pumped about a gallon of the goo from her stomach.

True story.

[Skeezix]

No, no, no, that was Rod Stewart...

_{Or was he the one with the Mars Bar?}

[CalMeacham]

I am in awe. This is the most explicit out-of-place sexual reference I've seen since the fight scene between the Penis Monster and the Vagina Monster in the Roger Corman film "Not of this Earth" (circa 1988). I'm willing to believe the Harry Potter vibrating Broom was an honest mistake, but it's hard to think of this Penis-Pop as anything but deliberate.

Can we look forward to the Cunnilingus trainer next?

[Polycarp]

::: wonders if Flamsterette_X has ever read any Spider Robinson :::

[Boyo Jim]

Originally posted by CalMeacham
...Can we look forward to the Cunnilingus trainer next?

I think with a little redesign, Fruit Rollups might fill that bill nicely.

[Cervaise]

Originally posted by AntaresJB
I may never go back to penis again!

Psst! For anyone who cares about this sort of thing, there's an excellent sig going wanting.

And I'll definitely be getting some of these for Christmas gifts. Don't tell my friends.

[AntaresJB]

[brief hijack of my own thread] Psst! It would be awesome if someone took Cervaise's suggestion and made that a sig line! I'm pretty darn new here and if I got quoted in someone's sig it would make me so happy I would giggle like a school girl! And don't you all want to hear me giggle like a schoolgirl? [/brief hijack]

[Fornit]

I found this thread truly humourous considering the fact that I've just started reading "Steel Beach" by John Varley, in which the opening line is "In five years the Penis will be obsolete"

[Little Bird]

Does anyone know where I can get my....um....hands on some of these? I've looked all over, has anyone who lives in the midwest seen one around?

[80sHairMetalMaven]

Funny...I live in Texas and have never seen these. I want my Fr-Ooze Pop!

IDBB

[slortar]

So, do these come in strap-on models?

[lieu]

[Geezer voice]

Back in my day, all we had was Blo Pops and we were happy with that.

[/Geezer voice]

[RTFirefly]

The address of the manufacturer's Eastern Region Sales Office:

1024 Swallow Drive
Cherry Hill, NJ 08003

Too good to be true!

[rocking chair]

too funny, rt firefly!

there is a company that has a wonderful address.

[Flamsterette_X]

Originally posted by Polycarp
::: wonders if Flamsterette_X has ever read any Spider Robinson :::

No... should I have? Is there something there that is germane to my posts? Tell me, please!

F_X

[Polycarp]

Flammie: The answer, in a word, is "Tood"

While from what I've gotten of your personality from reading your posts, I suspect he's an author you'd enjoy, those of us who do read a lot of him know that at least three times he's mentioned the sidewalk in front of his home in Vancouver.

It has a sidewalk that was laid about three years ago, and when it was fresh and still wet, a neighbor boy left his witness of his love for the ages:

TOOD
+
JANEY

From which Spider concludes that, since it's unlikely that anybody named their son "Tood," we have here a boy old enough to be getting horny around a girl who cannot spell his own name.

"And you tell me, over and over and over again, my friend, you don't believe we're on the eve of destruction!" - B. McGuire

[LouisB]

Well, AntaresJB, IMHO if this candy takes off, for every woman who gives up on penises, two or three others will be inspired to try them.

And I won't know a single one of them.

[Essured]

...and goo comes out of a hole in the tip

...an explosion of sweet goo

...a gallon of the goo

I'd love to see these

[JRDelirious]

praise be to the free market... this is SO... wonderfully perturbing

[Flutterby]

Heh.. I think I might steal that for my sig.. would go well with my quote from the Reality female condom.

I never quite thought of going into this thread before.. but I saw this and remembered this thread.

[AntaresJB]

My first foray into eating one of these things in public....

Actually, in Algebra class. My (male) friend P walked in, sat down next to me, and did a double take. (I've never seen anyone actually do that in real life!) This is something like the conversation that followed...

P: "What is THAT?!"
AJB: [innocent grin] "A lollipop."
P: "Oh." [blink blink] "That's... weird."
AJB: "Yup. And check out the instructions..."
[P laughs hysterically, then gives me another funny look, as I waggle my eyebrows suggestively]
two minutes later, in the midst of a lecture on linear programming...
P: [sideways glance at me sucking vigorously on my candy.] "That's just... disturbing."

NB: It was the orange/peach flavor.

Hehe. Next place of experimentation -- Human Sexuality class.

[butter pie]

I really need someone to mail me one of these. Really.

[Derleth]

Originally posted by AntaresJB
[brief hijack of my own thread] Psst! It would be awesome if someone took Cervaise's suggestion and made that a sig line! I'm pretty darn new here and if I got quoted in someone's sig it would make me so happy I would giggle like a school girl! And don't you all want to hear me giggle like a schoolgirl? [/brief hijack]

Okay, I though this thread was so funny, disturbing, and outright bizarre I made your quote part of my growing sig.



Lollycocks: Candy verging on the pornographic.

[CasperQ]

If somebody mails one to me, I'll replay (er, um, repay!) them!! Afraid I can't seem to find any of these around here... though I'd also say if my five-year-old came up to me wanting to buy one I'd have a hard (pun NOT intended - since I'm female) time keeping a straight face...

[Flamsterette_X]

Originally posted by Polycarp
Flammie: The answer, in a word, is "Tood"

While from what I've gotten of your personality from reading your posts, I suspect he's an author you'd enjoy, those of us who do read a lot of him know that at least three times he's mentioned the sidewalk in front of his home in Vancouver.

It has a sidewalk that was laid about three years ago, and when it was fresh and still wet, a neighbor boy left his witness of his love for the ages:


From which Spider concludes that, since it's unlikely that anybody named their son "Tood," we have here a boy old enough to be getting horny around a girl who cannot spell his own name.

"And you tell me, over and over and over again, my friend, you don't believe we're on the eve of destruction!" - B. McGuire

Thanks, Polycarp. I'll be sure to look him up when I have the time, money, and inclination.

F_X

[Muffin]

My first grade teacher insisted that I did not know how to spell my last name. It was very frustrating to have a teacher that ignorant.

[Boyo Jim]

There is some weird shit on that company's web site. Tale a look at this picture for their "pinky pop".

Someone care to try a non-sexual explanation for the thing in front of the little girl?

[Ferret Herder]

Originally posted by yojimboguy
Someone care to try a non-sexual explanation for the thing in front of the little girl?

Er... um... she's carrying an inflatable pool toy? (Hell if I know why she would be in a candy ad, but I tried.)

[AntaresJB]

Yeah.. looks vaguely like one of those inflatable horsey rings to me.. only not a horsey.. I honestly don't know what it is, but it looks like it goes around her body, and it looks inflatable...

Yeah, doesn't really make sense at all... *shrug*

But let us check out the page for their fizzy shaker candy... what ARE those kids DOING?! GAAH! This boggles my mind, you have to see it for yourself.

There's is obviously some f'ed up schtuff going on over at the Au'some Candy company...