Just out of idle curiosity, (and because I can’t leave work for another hour and I’m bored, bored, bored) I decided to start a new thread.
Many folks here have outspoken opinions about “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and the direction of the storyline. I wondered what would happen if Joss Whedon were to cede writing chores to the teeming millions. Let’s say starting with the very next episode. Absolutely anything you want could happen: SMG returns as Buffy, or her character gets written out; Dawn dies a slow & painful death, or gets retconned out of existence. Tara comes back to life. Spike gets some respect. Whatever. It’s your call people!
Towards the end of the season, Spike goes absolutely bugfck on the Bringers.
*It is revealed that Kennedy is, in fact, gay/bi. ASAP. Sexual tension don’t tense if you’re wondering if party 2 plays the game at all.
*TFE makes a passing reference to the events on Angel.
*Clem returns.
*Xander does something carpentery, foils major FE plot.
*Faith returns.
*Faith dies.
*Kennedy becomes the Slayer.
*Willow finally makes peace between Season 1 Nerd, “You don’t have to hang out with me,” Willow, and Season 6 Crackwhore/Big Bad “Bored now [flayings occur]” Willow. After said peacemaking occurs, Willow says, “It’s all about power.”
*Buffy’s mom is a real-life ghost, giving good, accurate advise.
*TFE will manifest as Buffy’s mom. Buffy’s mom will manifest as Buffy’s mom. Hijinks will ocurr.
*A poke-test will be instituted to ensure that no one has been killed and replaced while no one is looking. Sexual tension will result.
*Andrew does something useful.
*Plot arc idea: Buffy goes postal against TFE. She gets Andrew to conjure Bringer-eating demons. The Hellmouth is involved.
I haven’t seen the series in almost 3 years because I live in a land without UPN, so some of these may have happened:
Zander impregnates Anya, spends nine months worrying if the child will be a demon, and of course it is. But he learns to accept it and its lifestyle choice anyway.
Spike is visited by the ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future, but impales them.
Riley’s wife, it turns out, was a femme-bot, so he returns, picks up Buffy, and walks her out of Sunnydale as “Love Lifts Us Up Where We Belong” plays.
Sweet (Hinton Battle) becomes president due to irregularities in Florida and delivers the most kick-ass inauguration dance ever. Pittsburgh, Indianapolis, and parts of Kentucky explode, but his popularity ratings are through the roof anyway.
We finally learn the source of Anya’s rabbit phobia.
Spike starts a rock band. Possibly with Oz.
Giles gets serious overdose of band candy from season 3. Personality permanently stuck in Ripper mode.
Return of Ethan. Big battle between physical incarnations of First Evil and Chaos.
First Evil manifests itself to Andrew as Mark Hamill. Action freeze-frames as “Look kids, it’s Mark Hamill <applause>” appears on screen.
Willow goes to band camp, hijinks ensue.
Xander gets cybernetic implants increasing his strenght/agility to Slayer level. Andrew makes comment “We can rebuild him. We have the technology”.
And just because I think it needs to be done: an entire episode of Andrew just getting beaten by each character. Nothing against the actor, but that character just annoys me (which is probably precisely the point)
Oh, and pepperlandgirl , could you grace us with a link?
A spell is cast sending Buffy and co. 500 years in the future to a small spaceship crusing the outher worlds allowing Mutant Enemy one final use of a very expensive set.
All story lines are wrapped up and Buffy ends with the end of this season. However, the show is kept on the schedule, and next season picks up the adventures of Captain Mal the crew of the Serenity. Nobody at the network notices, and “Buffy” runs eight more seasons.
Honestly. Why couldn’t it have been just a very old vampire? IHMO, a vampire that resisted staking/crushing because it was that damn old is scarier then a new exotic breed of vampire.
*Xander gets a broken limb doing something noble. Warren is forced to replace him on the mission of the day. Willow stays behind to see if she can heal him. We have Willow/Xander character interaction.
Not to turn this into a Buffyphile Nitpick Fest, but…
That’s basically exactly the impression I got from the neandervamp. It was a vampire that was about 40,000 years old. In fact, if Ubervamp was to vampires what neanderthals are to humans, it could very well follow that Ubervamp was a neanderthal who got vamped. That’s a pretty fucking cool idea, if you ask me.
[hijack]
My point was that giving it a special name distinguished it from normal vampires. It says in the Buffy book of monsters that individual boogymen are scarier then races of monsters. A race has an ecology. A race of wossnames may be immune to one thing, but will always have a vunerability. Individuals can be more badass then that. Besides, Giles had heard of them. How old/scary can they be?
Also, vampires created before 0 A.D. should be immune to holy water/crosses/etc, IMHO. It would have been far cooler if Buffy’s bottle of holy water had just got it wet.
And a martial-artsy vampire with big honkin’ claws sux0rs.
[/hijack]
*Xander and Anya have a heart-to-heart.
*Dawn keeps a random dumb secret. Dawn almost dies, in a Gnarl/Willowy-disturbing-as-all-hell-almost-death rather than a whiney Dawn saved-in-the-nick-of-time-almost-death. Dawn tells Buffy what Joyce told her.
