Seen any good bumper stickers lately?

Back in the 80's I remember laffin' my a$$ of at some, but then again I was but a tot.
I saw "Hang up and Drive" the other day, which I thought was good, and also "I was at Dave and Kathy's Wedding" which must've been one helluva event if people want to advertise that.
Maybe I spend far too much time on the road and am looking for a diversion.


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"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather - not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car"

I just got one that says McShit with the golden arches and everything. I love the 'hang up and drive' stickers too!

I am so immature, I love the takeoffs on Farfagnugan...
Fukingroovin' (with a stick person dancing)
Fuckinpukin' (with a stick person puking)
I saw that last one yesterday and almost peed my pants laughing..

My two favs that I used to have:
Dont' like my driving? Dial 1-800-EAT-SHIT
also..(and this one got me lots of dates..no kidding)

Lonely bitch seeks kind, considerate guy for love/hate relationship
loved that one...


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If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

I also remember the "I was at ....and ....Wedding"

My current favorite now is
"What if the Hokey Pokey is what its all about"

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The worst thing that can possibly happen is not be used for something by someone - Kurt Vonnegut

How about, "Eat your honey....millions of bees can't be wrong."?

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MaryAnn
Sometimes life is so great you just gotta muss up your hair and quack like a duck!

The one I have on my car right now says "Do not wash: This vehicle is undergoing a scientific dirt test."


--Sylence

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"A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, 'Wish you were here'." - Steven Wright

First lemme say that Bumper Sticker are the stupidest things on Gods Green Earth. Do you really need to advertise your fucking politics or religious beliefs on your bumper? Do you really think I'm gonna read that Jesus Saves bumper sticker and suddenly veer off to the next church and get saved? Keep it to yourself, where it belongs.

But, a good joke is a good joke.

One I've seen on bumper stickers, T-shirts, and on bulletin boards is this:
Wanted:
"Seeking wife, must be able to cook, clean fish. Must have boat with motor. Send photo of boat and motor."

I think thats funny, but I'm easily entertained.

Any of those "My other car is a..(insert expensive/tacky/non-car vehicle here)" bumper sticker are really lame.

I like the "If you can read this your to close, asshole!" bumper stickers, but they fit with any of the get even with the idiots stickers.

We did some of these, search "bumper sticker" for the old thread. I tried to remember some, but as I usually drive, I could not write them down or forgot. It turns out they aren't always easy to write in 6-7 words!

Some of my favorites:

"Jesus is coming; look busy!"

"The sun will extinguish in 3 1/2 billion years, which means they'll have to finish I-75 in the dark."

And, though they're not really bumper stickers, I love the Darwin fish.

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"Knowing others is wisdom. Knowing yourself is enlightenment." - Lao-tzu, Chinese philosopher

"Horn broke, watch for finger!"

"Keep honking, I'm reloading!"

"I'm not tailgating, I'm drafting"

The one I CANNOT stand to see is the one you see on senior citizens cars that says "I'm spending my kids inheritance". Why call it their inheritance if its your money in the first place. Don't know why that bugs me so much.

one more..."That's Ms. Bitch to you"

phouka, that one about the sun and I-75 made me laugh. That must be the portion that goes through Tennessee, cause I've never seen any state have slower road construction than TN and I live in the Road Construction Capital (Michigan)!

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...it has never been my way to bother much about things which you can't cure.
- A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court-Mark Twain

phouka: And, though they're not really bumper stickers, I love the Darwin fish.

The other morning I what looked like a fish at first, but was really a shark. Loved it!

"Its not a bald spot, its a solar panel for a sex machine" (Yeah, its tacky- but I laughed)

"Why vote for the lesser of two evils? Elect Chthulu"

"Quayle in 2000"

This is a little off-subject, but does anyone want to go halvsies with me on a 5,000 copy bumper-sticker printing of

HONK IF YOU THINK I'M AN ASSHOLE FOR DRIVING THIS THING

I want to go out at midnight and plaster them on the bumpers of every sport utility vehicle in New York City. Why do people think it's necessary to drive one of those $#@%#@ things in the city?

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Uke

This was on a really dirty old pickup truck:

"Don't laugh at my truck; your daughter may be in here."

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I don't know who first said "everyone's a critic," but I think it's a really stupid saying.

"I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my ass."

The Christian fish symbol sporting little legs and "Darwin" inscribed inside.

"I CLOSED WOLSKI'S..Milwaukee, Wi"

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Tim
"My hovercraft is full of eels."

Omniscient needs a sticker that says "I hate bumper stickers" wouldn't that be a hoot?

My favorite remains, "Join the army. Travel to far away, exotic places, meet strange and interesting people, and kill them."

My absolute favorite. Can you tell that I am a pacifist?

S.C.

We have one that's a chalkboard so that we can change our mind... it makes for some fun discussions!

OK... This will probably piss a few people off, but what they hey.

My favorite all time bumper sticker stated:

Jesus Loves You, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole.


My car has 3 bumper stickers on it:

1) Abolish Mornings
2) Vote: Republican, it's easier than thinking
Vote: Democrat, it's easier than working
Vote: Libertarian, it's cheaper than taxes
3) Red Meat isn't bad for you,
Green, Fuzzy meat is bad for you.


I am a strong believer in offending sensitive people.



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Jason R Remy

"And it could be safely said that at that moment, in the whole of India, no one, absolutely no one, was f^(king a goat."
-- John Irving A Son of the Circus (1994)

I have to agree with Omniscient - I hate bumper stickers.

That being said, my favorite bumper sticker reads:

"My heart belongs to daddy...and so does my ass!"

#2 is "Hang up and drive!"

Saw a car with a Jesusfish and a Darwinfish kissing each other. Those are the kind of people I wanna hang out with.

I generally don't like bumperstickers, but I did bring one back from Glasgow, Scotland nearly 10 years ago (and it's still on the car, in good shape--God knows what it's made of!). Glasgow has its own earthy humour and language, with many pithy phrases.

The sticker reads "AWANBILEYERHEID", which is "Awa an bile yer heid", or "go away and boil your head", a fairly typical, if clean, Glasgow wittisism.

However, it has given hours of innocent delight:

I have seen people stop and look, and mouth out the words, sometimes for minutes on end when I'm parked. People have even run up from the vehicle behind at red lights to ask me what the hell it says.

Real Scots just honk and laugh, of course. Helps us sort folk oot.

WE BRAKE FOR TAILGATERS

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Zymurgist

Here are a few that I like:
BACK OFF MAN - I'm a Scientist.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

I like the take-off of that 70's sticker that reads "Visualize Whirled Peas"

Also "Who are the Grateful Dead, and why do they keep following me around?"

I like, "The next time you feel perfect, try walking on water," or "My karma just ran over your dogma."

Just lately, "Dr. Kevorkian can see you on Tuesday".
When I lived in LA, there was a brief vogue for "Please don't shoot, I'm driving the best I can". I also once saw, in LA again, natch, the license plate holder that says "My other car is a Rolls-Royce"--on a Rolls-Royce.
I've always been amused by those "Warning: in case of Rapture, this car will be driverless" stickers--they always implied to me Well, I'm going to Heaven, & since you're going to Hell anyway, it's OK for me to leave an unguided missle going down the freeway!" Shouldn't these guys be walking?
--Alan Q

The best one I've seen lately has a radioactive symbol, a pink triangle, a little whale, and a cross. Underneath them it says, "Nuke a Gay Whale for Jesus".

Other favorites--
"Jesus saves, Moses invests"
and the classic
"Gas, Grass, or Ass--Nobody Rides Free!"

Dr. J

Id love to split those bumper stickers with you, Ukulele Ike

My favorite was a car I saw in the late '80s on Mass St. in Lawrence....it was a beat-up old Camaro. Two bumper stickers. On the left: "I (heart) Beer". On the right: "Heavy Fuckin' Metal". Had I been a cop, I'd have pulled that guy over right there.

well, my friend at school had these....they made me laugh although I didn't neccessarily approve of his well-known foul mouth.. they read:

#1 You're not a hemroid so get off my a$&.
#2 Be nice to smokers...we're dying soon enough.

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tipi

I got a load of these things from a friend via e-mail. Some yall have seen, some not. Nevertheless they are pretty funny.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
>
>I love cats...they taste just like chicken.
>
>Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
>
>Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
>
>As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
>
>Happiness is a belt-fed weapon.
>
>Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
>
>Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.
>
>I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather......not screaming and yelling
>like the passengers in his car.
>
>Montana --- At least our cows are sane!
>
>The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
>
>I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
>
>Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!
>
>It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
>
>When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.
>
>Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
>
>Friends don't let friends drive naked.
>
>Wink, I'll do the rest!
>
>I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
>
>Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
>
>If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
>
>Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all its students.
>
>It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
>
>Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy comes from!
>
>Forget about World Peace.....Visualize using your turn signal!
>
>Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.
>
>Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
>
>We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
>
>Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
>
>He who laughs last thinks slowest.
>
>Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
>
>Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
>
>Very funny Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
>
>Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
>
>Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
>
>I souport publik edekasion.
>
>Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
>
>3 kinds of people: those who can count, and those who can't.
>
>Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
>
>Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
>
>I'm a corporate executive, I keep things from happening.

A woman I used to work with had a pickup truck with a bumper sticker, "Feed Jane Fonda to the whales." She said people would ask her, "What do you have against whales?"

About 3 years ago I saw one that said;
"so many fools, so few comets,"
I about rear-ended the guy I was laughing so hard

Placed in juxtaposition to each other
"mean people suck," " nice people swallow"

saw this in a store today:
Men have feelings too, but who cares?

Ivick, that is the funniest thing about the comets, I remember seeing one too.

Ah, this could be a seperate thread

About a year ago I saw a Darwin fish w/a much BIGGER Darwin fish approaching from the rear, mouth wide open.

I came across a couple in a book by Peter Benchley:
Hire the handicapped; they are fun to watch

My saviour is a Jewish Carpenter.

PS. NO slights intended.

I have one hanging in my office:

Everything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately, no one we know belongs.

I used to have one that said:

Jugglers do it with their balls in the air.

I also used to have one that simply said:

Support the Bill of Rights

You can't imagine how many people didn't understand this last one. "What do you mean by that?" "Do you mean the whole thing? Even the Second Amendment?" Etc. This is not a difficult concept, people!

I also had a Darwin fish sticker (rather than the plastic fish itself), which somebody tried to rip off (a good Christian creationist person, I'm sure).

Here's a couple of my favorites:

"My Other Car is a Piece of Shit Too"

and

"Conserve Toilet Paper, Use Both Sides"

Actually I was reminded of my favorite by Alan Q's posting about LA. Oddly enough, I saw this when I was living there:

"I told you my other car
was a Rolls-Royce"

On a RR of course... I like that guy's sense of humor.

Many moons ago there was an oubreak of "This Car Stops For Animals" stickers. One of the better responses was "This Car Stops For Hallucinations". I've also been partial to "If You Don't Like The Way I'm Driving, Stay Off The Sidewalk".

It's interesting what you can accomplish with a judicious use of scissors. Again many moons ago Wisconsin issued some "Escape to Wisconsin" stickers, which could--and were--modified to "Escape to sin". In Northern Virginia, pro-road groups printed "Build I-66 Now" stickers, which saved the anti-road group from having to print their own, since all they needed to do was clip off both ends to make "I-66 No" stickers.

A supermaket chain in the southeast US, Food Town, was actually popular enough that people were willing to put store bumper stickers on their cars. When the chain changed its name to Food Lion, they issued new stickers with the black "Town" crossed out by a red stripe and the word "Lion" inserted. What I found amusing was that the red ink was unstable, so the "Lion" would fade out, and the stickers eventually reverted to "Food Town".

beatle said - "About a year ago I saw a Darwin fish w/a much BIGGER Darwin fish approaching from the rear, mouth wide open."

I've never seen that one, but I have seen one with a small Darwin fish with a much bigger regular Christian fish approaching from the rear, mouth wide open, with the caption "Survival of the fittest".

I have heard (on radio - so not sure if its true, perhaps some New Yorkers can verify or deny) that the most popular bumber sticker in New York is:

Run, Hilary, Run

All the Democrats have it on the rear bumper.


The Republicans put in on the front bumper.


Politically Incorrect - and pround of it.

Speaking of scissors...A local radio station just changed it's frequency from 104.9 to 94.9 (who knows why) but enterprising youths are seen with their "Wild 94.9" stickers rearranged to say "Wild 4 69"

"30 Minutes of Begging Does Not Constitute Foreplay"

-Melin

Upstate New Yorker here ( and no it's further north than Kingston). In this staunch Republican stronghold I have seen one with 'Run Hillary Run' in the front bumper. This is not surprising considering most talk involving the Clinton's eventually boils down to the merits of calibers and muzzle velocities.

Well, if we are doing favorite stickers, not just funny ones:

Recycle life, give blood.

I'd rather be dancing.