Aurelian's mindless poll - bumper stickers

So, yes, my question: What bumper stickers made you laugh? were just annoying? angered you? were hypocritical? (like the environmental one I saw on an SUV bigger than my undergraduate dorm room)

Corollary: Are they too much of a distraction? And, I suppose, why put them on? Does the person behind you care about your political/religious views in a snappy one-liner?

Picture this if you can: some people have bumper stickers that say “I love my cat”, but love is symbolized by a heart. Now replace that heart with a spade. My mom had that one on her car for a few years before she sold it.

Bumper stickers that annoy me: anything with the words “honor student”. Why would I care that somebody’s kid is an honor student?

The particular bumper sticker I’m thinking of is not annoying by itself. It’s just a sticker with a local radio station’s logo on it. But the things are everywhere! Not on cars. That would be logical. I’ve found them stuck to doors, windows, and the tops of my school’s lockers. They must breed.

I did see an Isis bumper sticker a few years ago. Considering that most of the businesses here manage to work Christianity into their advertising, I thought it was terribly nifty. Rarely see anything like that around here. Usually it’s just the Jesus fish.

A friend of mine had one that said “My juvenile delinquet’s f**king your honor student” :smiley:

I like one I saw recently that said “Envision Whirled Peas.” I’m also fond of “Your village called — Their idiot is missing.”

Back when I was in college, National Lampoon used to always have an ad in the back of it for a place that sold little stickers with a picture of a screw on them. They were for sticking on top of other people’s trite little bumperstickers, turning (for example) “I <heart> my Lhasa Apso” into “I <screw> my Lhasa Apso.” A vast improvement in my opinion — I HATED those little “Heart” bumper stickers.

Well, I have a window sticker. The reason is this, I am on my second red Taurus. Do you know how many red Taurus cars there are? I’d never figure out which one was mine in a crowded parking lot without walking up close enough to see the contents. I have actually tried to put my keys in other people’s locks. :o I need the window sticker.

I just saw a “What Would Satan Do?” bumper sticker. Ok, I’m not saying it’s that funny- to obvious. But it’s nice to see it out there.

Plus the other sticker on the car was for “My Life with the Thrill Kill Cult”. Cool. We don’t get too many MLWTTKC fans up here.

This morning I saw a bumper sticker “bandaid” over a minor dent in a fender. Both my son and I chuckled at the drivers obvious good humor.


Seen while visiting Florida a few years ago:

When I get old, I’m going to move up North and drive REAL slow.

“Dear Jesus, protect me from Your Followers”
“My Karma ran over your Dogma”

(Despite appearances, I am not anti-religious–I just see so many “believer” bumper stickers that I tend to cheer when the other side gets a word in edgewise.)

I saw this one recently and wanted to get it for a few people I know -

“I’m not fucking stupid…
but I used to.”

How about this one:
“If you can read this your too F**KING CLOSE!” :slight_smile:

The bumper sticker would have to be one of the lowest forms of communication - usually because the drivers that deem it absolutely necessary to tell us which radio station they listen to or to relay pathetic one-liners that weren’t funny the first time Noah heard them tend to have an intelligence quotient somewhere in the sub-primate category.

This is why I find it refreshing when I actually see a bumper sticker that is almost cerebral.

Two absolute pearlers -

  1. Standard Fish-style Jesus sticker. Except instead of having the word ‘Jesus’ emblazoned on it, it had the word ‘evolution’. The kicker is that the fish had four feet. Still cracks me up to this day.

  2. In large letters ‘If you can read this…’ with small letters underneath proclaiming ‘… i’ll hit my brakes and sue you’. I wonder how long it will be before that bumper sticker will become just has hackneyed as all the other variations on that theme.

It’s nice to know that some adhesive technologies are being used for the greater good, and not just to give some trogodyte a feeling of satistfaction knowing that he’s telling the whole universe which brand of bourbon he (or she - it’s hard to tell gender under a mullet) drinks.

Here’s one for all you Linux geeks/groupies out there.


Well, I liked it.

Since my of religion have degenerated to the point of considering God the cosmic example of the absentee parent, I get a kick out of the religious ones the fundies probably consider sacrilege. Maybe I’ll buy some of these:

  • I found Jesus Last Night! He was Behind The couch the whole time!
    -Jesus Hates Me
  • God was my copilot, but our plane crashed in the mountains, so I had to eat him.
    -Jesus saves, but Budda recycles (my mom really wants this one)
  • No, this is not an abandoned vehicle
  • Successfully masquerading as a responsible adult
    I really miss my “Thank you for not breeding” bumper sticker, but winter ate it (and the lower bumper and the exhaust system. 9 feet of snow does that.) At least the “people suck” one is still there…

Will you accept a license plate I saw in North Carolina years ago instead:


Dummy me. I had to think about it before I figured it out. Obviously, DMV didn’t.

Seen here in Kentucky basketball country:
“Hope your prosperity in Boston follows you to Louisville, Rick!”

Dr. J

but my aim is getting better

One that I’m not too fond of is the fundie favorite, “In the event of Rapture, this car will be unmanned.”

I recently saw a WONDERFUL one in reaction to that, which read:
“In the event of Rapture, Can I have your car?”

“Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.”

“Are you looking for a taste of religion? Bite a minister!”
My brother had one that showed an “Evolution” legged fish humping a Jesus fish.