Ask the guy who claims he's 4000+ years old

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I was on the committee for choosing the color of dirt.

I edited Hamurabi’s code

I discussed war with Caesar

I witnessed the Norman invasions

I told Columbus to make his faithful voyage thinking how funny it would be to make him think he was in India.
I watched the Mayflower leave

I saw the Declaration signed

One thing I did not go see was Christ’s crucifixion so don’t ask me about that. I was there for the sermon on the mound though…

So what do you want to know about? I can most likely tell you something about it.

2

Let’s do the 2,000 calorie man thing. I’ll be Carl Reiner and you…

3

Ummm, I’ll be the 4000 year old me.

The 2k calorie diet is completely bogus by the way, eat anything you want. Hell I eat anything I want and I’ve lived this long, it can’t be bad.

4

Is it safe?

5

Is what safe? I said I knew historical events, not that I was psychic. My diet? I’ve lived 4000 years, that has to attribute to its safety rating.

6

What was Strom Thurmond like as a boy?

7

I’ll ask, again,

Is it safe?

8

Strom was nice for the most part, he was athletic as I recall. I didn’t stay too long in Edgefield SC, so I only saw him when he was entering high school. Not to say he wasn’t like any other teenager getting in trouble and all but he didn’t have any hint of one day being a senator.

His mother was real nice, invited me in for lemonade in, 1918 I think… that sounds right. Somewhere around there.

And I’ll answer again, I don’t know what you’re talking about.

9

I’m sorry. I don’t remember you at all but it may just be the effects of age. When my research teamand I invented rocks and then dirt we made many colors. Were you the the guy in blueish shorts and the labrobe? There was this guy from what’s now Morocco and everything he wore was blue and his skin seemed blue too. He didn’t say much but he seemed to watch everything we did with a keen eye. We thought he might have been a spy.(Very hitech stuff)

10

Dear 4000 year old guy,

I take it you never watched 'clerks: the animated series", have you?

11

P.S. I’m not talking smurf, the blue people still exhist to this day.

12

No that wasn’t me, you’re talking about the gentleman from the Tuareg tribe. I chatted with him for a bit and we parted ways after that. I think I remember you, you sort of took charge for the comittee right?

No I stopped watching movies or film a long time ago, it’s all been done ages ago. I know all the stories, they all walk the same loop. Clerks was a clear way to guarantee I would be bored out of my mind.

13

Dear 4000 year old guy,
"I like chicken, I like liver, meow mix, meow mix, please deliver. "

Why, or why not, is that the best quote in the universe?

14

Why do they call a nose, a ‘nose’?

15

You never heard the Sumerian language, I don’t think anything said in English can match the Sumerian language. I can’t speak it but I just love to hear it. However that may be the best quote in English.

16

Which river did Hammurabi pee in, the Tigris, or the Euphrates?

17

Well etymologically speaking it derives from the middle english word nosu, but I wasn’t around when they coined that word I may have been busy deciding how many toes we should have.

18

Do you remember George? The guy who invented geodes? What’s with him? Sparkley dirt hidden in a rock. Big deal! You can’t grow beans in that.

Who made the first fish hook? It was a totally different branch of science but it looked like it had prospects. (indeed it did in hindsight) The name Og comes to mind but it was such a common name much like Smith today.

19

As far as I know he used the bushes, but I think he bathed in the Euphrates… That’s just odd you would ask… I don’t want to know.

20

I think I met George, he was an odd fellow but I dig the geodes.

Fish hook? Og? I thought it was his brother Ug. Who could tell, they were always fighting anyways. Ug was the smarter of the two but Og was more down to earth.

In any case folks, I’ll be back later to answer more questions. Keep them coming.