Old-Fart Doctor: Well, Mr. Potter, you’ll be glad to hear all tests came back negative.
Me: Yes? w00t!
OFD: But I think we need to have a chat about preventing the need for such tests in the future.
Me: Uh, sure?
OFD: You’re actively gay, am I correct?
Me: Whenever possible <-- goddamnit WISH I’d said this, I think I actually said something more along the lines of “Uh, sure?” again.
OFD: Can I assume you understand about the importance of safe-sex practice?
Me: You can, but I don’t really see what it has to do with…
OFD: So I understand that there won’t be a need for this indicative hand gesturesituation to arise again? Many gay men have no problems integrating condom use into their sexual activities.
Me: Now, listen here…
OFD: Mr. Potter, there should be no need for people to play fast and loose with their lives in this manner.
Me: Just WAIT a second. You are, of course, aware this was a work-related injury and nothing to do with my sex life? That I’m not quite so stupid to purposefully put myself at risk of HIV and HepC just for kicks?
OFD: Umm…
Me: I work with drug addicts? I had a needlestick injury while at work? Did you even READ my file??
OFD: Ahh. It’s been a busy morning, you see.
Me: So you just read my test results and came to your own conclusions? Are you this judgemental with all your patients?
OFD: Well, I wouldn’t say that…
Me: I would. I think we’re done here, don’t you? walks out wrapped in air of hurt dignity
Stupid old fucker. I want my lesbian doctor back. Bah :mad:
I don’t know how much of a homophobe this guy actually is. I would think that if he really were, he wouldn’t have mentioned anything because he wouldn’t have given a shit.
Switch doctors immediately, if possible! That kind of treatment would cause me to go supernova. Christ.
The only touble I’ve had with some doctors is that the straight male ones have sometimes exuded an air of total awkwardness when talking about gay stuff. Not all of them, though. Eventually, I went ahead and got a gay doctor, which is working out nicely.
I was confused, at first - because of the thread underneath this one, I misread the topic as “Yes. Because I’m gay I’m just a cum-dripping Democrat. Nice to know.”
There is a lot here to be upset about. Naturally, the assumption that the tests being done were needed because of promiscuous man on man sex, but also the fact that the doctor did not read the chart. I must have missed the memo where that became accepted best practice.
And really, who is he to lecture to you? Although obviously this specific instance was in response to a defined situation, a lot of gay men go for regular STD/HIV testing - it’s good practice. It would have been better if he’d started his little safe sex lecture by asking you about your practices first before passing judgement, plus assuming that you didn’t practice safe sex. And I understand there are different levels of what constitutes safe sex, but you’d think he’d at least start off with finding out what, exactly, it was you did. BAH!
Yeah, I felt a little uncomfortable about pointing out it was for a work-related injury, when it shouldn’t have made the slightest difference as HIV tests are generally a GOOD IDEA and to be encouraged, far as I understood it. “Preventing such tests in future”? The hell?
So yes, a narrowminded fuck (spot-on description, there, good show).
How’d he know you were gay in the first place? I can’t ever remember a doctor asking about my orientation. Is that something gay men get in the open right away, or have my docs just been slacking?
Given the limited accuracy of HIV tests and the serious problems associated with false positives and negatives, it’s not actually such a bad idea to limit the necessity for them.
I’ve had the “have to wearily explain to the doctor” thing, too. The last time I went in for a Pap smear/pelvic exam (long, long time ago), the doctor automatically wrote me a script for birth control. Confused, I said “I don’t need these?” She then proceeded to lecture me about preventing pregnancy, not letting me get a word in, until I finally cut her off and said “Look, I really don’t need them–I’m a lesbian.” Her response? “Well, what are you having pelvics for in the first place?”
I’m curious…how did you do that? Is there some way to select a doctor by orientation, or did you just ask a bunch until you got lucky? Is there a list of gay doctors somewhere?
What do you mean by “limit the necessity for them?” And how does that relate to false results?
And Ferrous, there are lists available. I actually called 1-800-DOCTORS when I moved to a new neighborhood many years ago, and specifically asked for a gay doctor. What they do is send questionnaires to doctors that include questions like, “How would you rate yourself with gay and lesbian patients? Excellent, Good, Fair, Poor,” and similar questions.
No offense taken at all, of course; it’s a good question.
I started going to my current doctor on the recommendation of my (now ex-) boyfriend. But I believe he got the doctor’s name through an HIV/healthcare clinic in a very gay-populated part of town.
Many doctors who are “gay friendly” specialize in the treatment of HIV/AIDS, and so they give their names to places like this HIV testing clinic so that people who come to the clinic have a place they can go, if they feel that having a gay or gay-friendly doctor will make them feel more comfortable.
For me, I’m not totally uncomfortable with a straight doctor, but it seems like having a gay doctor gives me an additional level on which to relate to the doc, and this puts me more at ease.
It’s on the standard patient forms for my doc (here in VT). You have to put sexual orientation, how many sex partners you have had and how many you have currently.
Makes the lectures easier, I imagine.
“Yeah, doc, your next patient is a 6A with 15 current. Go get 'em.”
If it makes you feel any better, I once had this happen and I’m a straight female. My then boyfriend/future husband (future ex husband in fact- who knew??) got a call from an ex-girlfriend saying she had clamydia. He went to the doc for tests (which came back negative) and they gave him precautionary antibiotics in case he was carrying the disease. I went to my doc for the same, but my doc wasn’t available so I had asshole lecturing doc. I was young (20), but still- this guy starts lecturing me like I’m 12 years old and have the clap- I felt like such a low-life dirt bag, and I was just there to be on the safe side in case I needed treatment for exposure. I’ll never forget feeling like a slutty tramp for going to get healthcare.
I’m sorry for your experience- I assume this was an Occupational Injury type doctor that you saw and you won’t have to return? Either way, I’d write him a letter and express your displeasure with your treatment, and consider copying your Human Resource people, if they are the ones who sent you there.
What do you mean by “limit the necessity for them?” And how does that relate to false results?