To: Ralph Nader <ralph@essential.org>
Mr. Nader,
I was picking up my e-mail a few minutes ago, enjoying all those wonderful bargains you see on those ingenious yahoo pop-up ads, and came across the most interesting & environmentally friendly contraptions I’ve even had the pleasure of seeing.
What will they think of next? This can never be topped. Praise be, Mother Nature! Finally a chance to get my very own ** Envirolet, Composting Toilet: The ecological & economical solution for cottage, cabin, home or commercial use**.
To hell with ordering the free informational video, I’m gonna be sittin’ pretty and get me 3 of these babies! Unfortunately, I’m on a tight budget this month, so I’m going to have to settle for theEnvirolet® Basic Plus Composting Toilet (Non-Electric Model) with a 4" Wind Turbine for the absolute bargain price of only $1,175 each. (I only wish I had another $297 so I could afford the green granite colored model - Shit!)
I haven’t been this excited since they introduced the Ammonia-Out Urine Purifier and I couldn’t even begin to tell you how much I’m saving not having to buy Poland Spring anymore.
I writing you just in case you haven’t heard about our mutual prayers being answered. Isn’t this great? I’m sure you’ve already ordered yourself a 1/2 dozen of those Premium Deluxe Models for only $1775 each. They come in contemporary black at no additional charge!
On a more sour note, with the $3,600+ I’ll be spending on these (hopefully, recycled) polyethelene crappers, I won’t be able donate any money to you to the cause next year when you opt to run for the White House. Sorry. But I’m grinning from ear to ear in the knowledge that in less than 21 months, immediately following your inauguation, that old, inefficient and environmentally unfriendly Presidential Mansion will be outfitted with the toilets of the future!
I just can’t hold in my excitement. Pffffffffffffffffft
Your faithful follower, and very green,
John Buck