This is the sort of thing the teabaggers should be angry about:
You can take away my quilted toilet paper when…well you know the rest of the saying.
I had some experience with the rough recylced stuff in in college when it was the only thing available in the dorm bathrooms. Without going into too much detail, it was not kind on my behind.
I’ve been a devotee of the soft stuff ever since.
…you dig it out of my cold clenched anus?
I gotta go with John Pinette on this. “Don’t you like yourself?”
One household item on which I will spare no expense. If I have to wipe my ass with a grocery bag, I’M going to start attending tea parties.
There’s recycled stuff that’s pretty damn soft and not too much more expensive. You just have to shop around.
My dad calls that hard stuff John Wayne toilet paper. You know, it’s rough, it’s tough, and it doesn’t take shit off of anybody.
Only my dad doesn’t say “shit” in front of ladies.
Jokes to get out of the way:
“Next, they’ll be taking the nudie mags, and the lights in the back room will go off and the next thing you know…rigor mortis”.
“What about the three shells?”
That said, I’m still surprised we haven’t gone more towards a bidet style toilet. I fell in like with those in Egypt that had the spigot built into the bowl. After a rinsing, a small amount of paper was needed. It just made much more sense.
joebuck20, they invented the toilet paper ad for you. Charmin shows a bear in the woods and she quizes her cub on using toilet paper, then makes him turn around and tut-tuts the several pieces clinging to his fur. Clearly, cubs need something sturdier, but not as hard on the septic tank as cloth. But then at the end of the add they sell wetnaps which are basically cloth.
I never even buy the double ultra quilted cottony extra plus stuff. Who’d have thought Europeans would be the real hard asses?
Have you tried recycled toilet paper recently, and tried a kind that isn’t cheap institutional toilet paper? I recently got some CVS Earth Essentials recycled toilet paper to try, and I like it better than I thought I would.
The alternative is buying rags at a charity store and tossing them in the trash after use.
Maybe I’ll just drag my butt on the lawn, like my dogs do. :eek:
I would have killed to be in the marketing meeting where they thought up the product name. I’m guessing that until they did, it was referred to around the ad agency as “Charmin Anti-Dingleberry.”
Charity store? There’s always a homeless urchin or two milling about, and they’ll discard the rags or you. Or just continue wearing them. Either way, worth a nickel.
This is one of those issues that a good cap-and-trade regulatory regime would presumably solve. The TP that required the permanent removal of old-growth forests would be considerably more expensive than the stuff that came from tree farms, which would in turn be more expensive than the stuff that was made from the leftover pieces of wood that weren’t turned into 2x4s and other lumber products.
Then we would all make our own market-based decisions on when it’s worth it to us to pay the carbon tariff. Right now, I’m buying Charmin Ultra-Sort, but I don’t have to pay much extra for it. If I did, I might consider alternatives.
At least that article explained to me why trees are cut down for TP. I’d always assumed that pretty much all paper products were made out of the wood chips and whatnot that were the leftovers from turning trees into lumber, and the claim that trees were cut down to make paper of any sort just seemed bogus to me. Ignorance fought. 
You realize what the Australian ad campaign will be. Bidet mate!
I was in Prague not long after communism fell, and I swear to you that the toilet paper there was not only thick and grey, but had visible flecks of wood in it.
One thing that they can do to be more environmentally friendly that I would be 100% behind is not bleaching toilet paper. Hello - I’m wiping my bum with it. It doesn’t have to be pristine white (same goes for paper towels and Kleenex®). With regards to recycled toilet paper, I wouldn’t have a problem with buying it if it wasn’t approximately 100% more expensive than regular here. You can expect people to use a crappy product, or pay more for it, but not both.
although double, quiltted Tp is not my thing (I’m a single-ply guy), still, c’mon.