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There have been previous threads about the size of toilet paper rolls. Outside of dollar stores, even the cheapest rolls claim to be at least double sized, claiming 6 rolls = 12, or 12 rolls = 24 or 36 or 72. This seems to be mainly puffery. Perhaps fluffery. Paper towels also have the same imaginative expansion. Is there any other product that does this?. You don’t see, say, a chocolate bar advertised as being equivalent to four snack sized; but the king ones might be 1.5…
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New advertisements show toilet paper with a scalloped edge, like a sine wave, instead of a horizontal edge which occasionally rips unevenly. Anyone care deeply enough about this tragedy to pay more? Are you brand loyal?
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During Covid, supplies dwindled and humanity showed its heart of darkness with hoarding and high prices. Have you increased your supply? What items will be rare next during the next pandemic? Did you witness any bathroom tissue brawls? Did you start one?
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What is the next euphemistic name for this product, when the idea of referring to the bathroom becomes gauche? Or maybe in the other direction, like buttcrack deodorant (advertised on radio)… will society choose a more vulgar and direct name, and what?
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I know a guy who, after having his baby, manswiped the wet wipes to substitute for having a bidet. Probably flushed them too. So not surprised that ManWipes found a market. But seriously? Cheap dollar store packages too stigmatic for you? You could probably sell a mandouche if it smelt like steak and barbecue sauce and was named Arctic Expedition.
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Do you know anyone who pays extra for weird colours, political patterns or unusual features? Would you? What “pattern” would you like the most, as a form of self expression?
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Isn’t quilting kind of a generous word for some vague pattern?
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Like razor blades, when is five ply coming out? Is this better than one ply - that is, do you carefully use each square or just grab a bunch?
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What, no scented toilet paper? (See mandouche.). I suggest lavender, which anyone can enjoy.
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Paper towels often allow you to “choose a size” for small spills. Is there a market for a similar variation for people who don’t eat anything that casts a shadow?
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What is the best brand? The best mascot?
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Why do the bears in TP commercials, enjoying the go, and obsessively snuggling soft tissue, sometimes change in colour from blue to brown? Is this how they know when it’s time to go? How useful would such a device be for your baby?
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I remember getting a paper cut from using splintery hostel paper one vacation. Stuff had visible splinters and roughness. What is the worst product you’ve used, either poor quality or emergency equivalent?
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If you were marketing toilet paper, what slogan would you use? Would it be better than “enjoy the go” or “feel the cottony softness”?
Well it becomes scented after I use it. 
But really, do think it wise to add a chemical to something that you rub agaisnt the most sensitive part of your body.?
I did temporarily during Covid, but I have a tendency to buy toilet paper in bulk anyway. They are easy to stack, can be put in my garage since at least when wrapped in plastic they can endure a lot, don’t spoil, and they are cheaper when you buy in bulk. And I didn’t find it that hard to find toilet paper in the first place, but paper towels were another story for whatever reason, and I ended up buying a huge pack of Sparkle (a brand I don’t generally care for) because it’s what I could find.
Items like this I usually order online (generally from Amazon) so I didn’t have to worry about local shortages or either observe or get involved in any brawls over toilet paper.
I remember a comedy bit from Gallagher way back in the day (I think it was from his “Still Stuck in the Sixties” comedy special on TV). He talked about scented toilet paper and asked who it was supposed to impress. He actually had a pretty good point.
I like these because I often use paper towels while cooking, such as covering or wrapping or going under food I put in the microwave. The half size paper towels are often ideal for that.
I have never seen that, the Charmin bears are usually blue or red depending on whether the commercial is for the “soft” or “strong” variations of their toilet paper (the packages are also blue and red to tell them apart). I’ve never seen any of those bears change color. If they suddenly turned into the color of feces that seems like a strange marketing decision.
I often run into low quality toilet paper in public bathrooms and they can be very uncomfortable. I don’t know a brand name for them but ugh. I imagine using a phone book or catalog like they did back in the day would feel better.
“More cush for your tush!”
The comedian John Mulaney had a bit about Trump before his political career. Joked about how he was a hobo’s idea of a really rich guy. “When my number comes up, I’m a-gonna have hair made of gold, and big tall buildings with my name on the side”.
So how much extra would you pay for “Trump Dump” with the expected patterning? (Or, for two-sideism, for number two, “Biden Your Time”).
So so much. 
I love love love toilet paper.
No scallops here. Don’t need that.
Colors and scents can cause problems for some people. I wouldn’t go down that trail.
I wanna a relatively mid-level priced, But decent paper. Not too cottony. Ridged or quilted is fine. Not see through. And a big roll.
I have a case of John Wayne paper the Big Wrek bought. Actually before COVID. He was expecting an apocalypse after certain man got elected. Well then COVID hit. And all of us would buy paper of any kind Everytime we hit a store. Not the hoarding level but what ever the shelf label said. 2 packs at a time. Seems we gathered up a bunch that way. After the big crisis, I donated the less preferred kind to the woman’s shelter. Along with over purchased feminine needs. Lots of women here at my house. They were afraid it would get scarce as well. Never happened.
We have these wipes, I call junk wipes. The men around here are not exactly clean as I want them to be. So I put them in the bathrooms they frequent. And encourage the little boys to use them. They’re flushable.
They’re actually disposable camping-out wash cloths. Go to sporting goods stores. Many brands available.
I’ve got more to say on this, but it’s lunch time. So I gotta go.
When you are very little, you think the mailman (or more modern equivalent) always wanted to be a mailman, wants to be the best mailman he can be.
Do you know anyone who from their earliest years, always wanted to be a plumber? They do pretty well.
Only the plumbers kid wanted to be a plumber.
Yeah, there’s a bunch to unpack and unroll there.
Given how popular Super Mario Brothers have been, I could imagine this to be the case.
There might be some disappointment when their training does not involve fighting turtle soldiers or anthropomorphic mushrooms.
Kids also want to be “Bob the Builder”, not realizing how many mushrooms it takes for the machines to actually start singing songs.
TP got hoarded because it was an easy hoard. Light, and big packages can be managed easily. So from a feelings standpoint, it made people feel better to grab big amounts of TP than to stock up on canned goods. But canned goods are heavy and bulky.
Rationally, hoarding TP is kind of a low priority. I can find other paper. Especially when similar paper like paper towels and tissues were less subject to hoarding. If everything is in short supply, you’re going to need food a lot more quickly. But it was just because of the easy hoard factor.
Well if you eat food you’re eventually gonna need TP. Laws of digestive physics will not be deterred.
Hence why I stock up in bulk. It’s on the top of a shelf in my garage. If it ever gets knocked over, oh noooo! The softest thing ever is going to bounce off your head or a car! 
And it’s cheaper (per roll) and I have to buy it less often.
Dried leaves work. I can’t eat dried leaves.
I am fine with people keeping more of a supply because we know other people will hoard it early in any sort of disruptive situation. But I know that hoarding it is irrational.
I was buying in bulk long before Covid. I buy a large quantity, then I don’t have to worry about it for a long time. I would do that with canned goods, but cans are too heavy.
With some products, you want to shop around, and buy the cheapest brand you can find. Toilet paper is not one of them.
The brand I buy recently started scalloping their edges. As long as it doesn’t cause paper cuts, I don’t care.
Nothing beats a rabbit.
We had several individual rolls of COVID toilet paper, bought when there was a scarcity. It is the cheapest stuff you can imagine. We made an attempt to use it up recently and ended up donating the rest of it to a food pantry.
I know it sounds trivial, but the boss of my house bought some of this. When I first ripped it, I thought, wow this is nice.
mmm
Nope. As long as it’s 2-ply, it’s all pretty much the same to me. I notice most rolls are narrower than they used to be by ~1/2" or so, but I don’t care enough to actually, well, care.
Our TP holder is recessed into the wall of our bathroom so we can’t get the uber-fat rolls, but other than that I don’t care much about brand/size/quiltedness/whatever.
Hell yes.
When Covid concerns began in earnest in early March 2020 we had maybe half a Costco package of TP on hand. One day I saw a few Facebook posts referencing a shortage of toilet paper. I thought it was a joke. That afternoon I had to go and do some errands and figured I would pick up some TP at each one of the stores I went to. None of them were close to being out of stock, so I again thought it was a joke but my OCD and normal anxiety-ridden state of consciousness wouldn’t let me ignore it. So I ended up with like 5 12-packs of TP that day. My wife thought I was nuts.
That was the last time we were able to buy TP for like 6 months. The half-full Costco pack and the 5 I picked up held us over until the shortage subsided, but it was close. I will never, but never be without a multi-month supply of TP on hand. My wife no longer thinks I was nuts (but of course won’t admit I was actually right…)
Common sense and rational thinking, if the past is any indication.
Hard pass. I hate lavender in all forms and deliberately go out of my way to avoid it.
“Satisfaction Guaranteed or Double Your Shit Back”
Well, I never…
Leaves. Are you insane?
Some leaves are edible. If you know how to forage.
Don’t worry about me. I hoard anyway. I live too far from anywhere. I can’t just up and go to the store if I’m outta of something. We have a system in place. It’s simple if you’re going somewhere you’re obligated to ask “Does anyone need something?”
I do currently maintain a reserve supply measurable in months on such items as paper goods, Lysol, and cat food/litter. Did not witness first-hand any scuffles over scarce goods, let alone participate.
If I had to guess about future scarce items, I’d assume the same ones as this time, such as disinfectant supplies (I also now maintain larger reserves of these than I used to).
Actually some people dislike lavender. I’m one of them.