Mormon married to Muslim - interfaith marriages

In My Humble Opinion
1

Okay, so I married a Muslim. I’ve been to the Temple (am a Temple worker), I teach Sunday School, and do all that great stuff Latter-day Saints do.

My wife is coming on Saturday (June 7), and there are a few issues I need help on.

Stuff like - going to Church on Sunday, garments, Family Home Evening, not praying namaaz (Muslim prayer), etc.

We think she knows I’m not Muslim, but that’s kind of iffy. Heh. Nice way to completely complexify the situation.

So, I need advice, counsel, comments, etc., from others in interfaith marriages (Latter-day Saints especially).

Thanks a tremendous bunch in advance!

If anyone wants to email me privately (I think AbbySthrnAccent might be able to help out a lot), please feel free to do so. (Click profile, blah blah blah.)

WRS

2

I’m really confused. You married this woman, but you’re not sure if she knows you’re not a Muslim? How could she not know? Is she a mail-order bride or something? Did the subject just never come up during conversation?

Better get it soretd now, because for all you know, it could be a major issue for her.

3

I think most issued in interfaith marriages need to be worked out before you actually get married.

4

I’m assuyming this is a hypothetical situation you’re describing, because there are just oodles of theological pitfalls for a Mormon-Muslim match if one or both are very serious and strict in their observances. For starters, Muslims hold that the Prophet Muhammed is the “Seal on the Prophets”, and none can come after him, which makes Joseph Smith’s position highly suspect to them, at the very least. Certainly such a couple could not be Sealed. The holy days don;'t coincide, and they disagree about drinking coffee (but both abstain from alcohol.) Interesting situation. Their Family Home Evenings would be interesting to attend.
OTOH, if both parties are either very liberal or very lax, none of the “hard” issues will cause problems, and there will be a stimulating blend of cultures. The Family Home Evenings will still be a hoot.

5

In Islam, her marriage to you is not valid, so I dont think it should matter to her wrt to the interfaith part (I’m assuming, shes not a practising muslim?), women are not allowed to marry non-muslims.

6

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by WeRSauron *
Stuff like - going to Church on Sunday, garments, Family Home Evening, not praying namaaz (Muslim prayer), etc.
[/qupote]

Namaaz? Salaat is the proper word.

You bloody well better clarify this because otherwise she’s bought herself a bit of a problem as technically she’s in big time sin now, Mormons are not kosher per se.

7

I hope you have no plans to come to Saudi. We had a similar issue a few years back. A guy was Church of England and his wife was a Turkish Muslim. He couldn’t bring her because we couldn’t guarantee that the locals wouldn’t stone her. (As in stone her to death) We didn’t think they would but didn’t want to take the chance.

Regards.

Testy

8

AFAIK - Muslim women are not allowed to marry outside the faith, so if she doesn’t know you’re a Mormon, you’d better tell her. In fact, you should have told her before you got married, and if you married her while allowing her to think you were a Muslim, then you won’t get much respect from me - that’s just plain low.

9

Interesting response.

All I will say is that none of you know all the factors, reasons, issues, etc., surrounding this issue. Therefore, passing judgment may not be the wisest thing.

Perhaps I should clarify - in my mindset, which is shared by others close to me, I am a Muslim as well as a Christian. The marriage was performed under Muslim laws, standards, and customs, which I recognize as valid and binding.

If living harmoniously means giving up my practice, I am willing to do so. I am willing to let my children be raised as Muslims, and let her practice Islam the way she sees fit. Despite the fact I may not be the best Muslim (if one’s born a Muslim, one dies a Muslim, even if he/she converts, apostasizes, etc.), we feel her marriage to me/into my family will be the best for her life, mind, and future, as my family’s a bit more modernized than many she could have been married into. I’d rather sacrifice myself for her own good than see her married to some abusive rogue.

Is this a perfect LDS situation? No. Is this a perfect Muslim situation? No. But life is full of complexities, and the key to a prosperous and successful life is recognizing that and dealing with it.

As I said, none of you know the issues surrounding why this marriage took place. So, if you have a helpful comment, please feel free to contribute. If you’re just going to condemn/damn/question/blast, then take it elsewhere. If I wanted your opinion, I would have asked. What I asked for was your advice on how to live harmoniously, whatever that might be.

And calling my wife a “mail-order bride” might earn my wrath.

WRS

10

Well, I do have a question—you said you’re a Mormon, then you say you’re a Muslim. Which is it? If you are both Muslim, I don’t see any problem here. And people are understandably confused about your marrying a woman you don’t seem to know or have had any in-depth conversation with.

Since you posed a question, I don’t think people are de trop for asking pertinent details.

11

Asking pertinent details is fine. Thinking I’m a scumbag without asking those pertinent details isn’t.

I’m a Latter-day Saint and a Muslim. Perhaps people from both religions may not agree with trying to straddle two camps, but that’s how I see myself. I accept the Restored Gospel yet respect and, if need be, practice the religious traditions of my family, which do not, if seen properly, violate the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ.

WRS

12

I don’t think you’re a scumbag, or have a mail-order bride. I thought you were someone coming up with a hypothetical situation, and felt I should point out the potential difficulties, which I did. No scorn written or intended.

That said, blending the two faiths is, I still maintain, awash with pitfalls. If you are both Muslim and Mormon then you must have a most interesting personal philosophy worked out. No judgment there – although I should note that I like weird personal philosophies. Might I suggest that you read Richard F. Burton’s City of the Saints sometime.

13

Er, you cannot be a LDS and a Muslim. The two are incompatible, mainly because of the Muslim tenant of faith that there is no Prophet after Mohammad. If you are a Muslim then you accept this, and acknowledge no prophet after him. Hence your belief in the LDS school of thought contradicts your Muslim belief.

I’m not trying to attack you, but as a Muslim myself, I cannot see how the two can be combined. Oh, and if you had a Muslim wedding ceremony, I assume that means you converted to Islam also, and in doing so, you do give up your previous beliefs, if you didn’t, convert to Islam before getting married, then to the best of my knowledge, your Muslim wedding is null and void in the eyes of the Shariah.

14

Dude, you can’t be both Muslim and Mormon. You can believe in the tenets of both religions, but neither one is going to let you claim to be both.

And why don’t you clarify the details so people won’t have to jump to conclusions due to lack of information. Did you marry her to protect her? Are you in love with each other? You keep talking about “we” think her life would be better with “us.” Do you have children? Are these your parents who are intimately involved in this marriage? Where is her family? What do they think of the marriage? Why doesn’t she know you’re a member of the Mormon church?

15

From an LDS perspective, I have to agree with what others have said here. You can’t straddle the fence and claim to be both LDS and Muslim (in fact even in your OP you stated that you were not Muslim). You can’t pick and choose some beliefs from column A and some from column B.

If you truly believe in the Restored Gospel, then surely you must realize that practicing another religion on the side is incompatible with the teachings of the Church.

I have seen “mixed marriages” work out OK where one partner was LDS and the other was indifferent about religion, but when the other partner has strong beliefs in a different faith, there are almost always conflicts about how to raise the children, and how to practice, etc.

I’m having a hard time getting my mind around the concept that you have married this woman and the subject of religion has never even come up. Was this an “arranged marriage”, or was there an actual period of courtship and getting to know each other involved?

If the best that you can say is “we think she knows I’m not Muslim, but that’s kind of iffy,” it seems like this is getting off on the wrong foot to start with. I’m not trying to sound preachy here (although it’s probably coming across that way), but it seems to me that after you are married is the wrong time to start thinking about these questions and discussing them with your wife.

16

Well, Islam is too diverse to succintly state who is and is not a Muslim. After all, “Muslim” means “one who submits” (to God). If I consider myself submitting to the will and desire of God, I can call myself a Muslim. Sure, it lacks much theologically, yet is an argument that can be supported.

Furthermore, becoming a Latter-day Saint did not require me to reject or renounce any religion.

Who is a true Muslim? There are as many theories as there are people. Some say it’s only those who pray five times a day, obey the rules and injunctions of the Shari’a, etc. Others say that whoever submits to God is a Muslim. Still others hold Muslimness is as Jewishness - it’s partly religious and partly cultural. Based on some definitions, there may be billions of Muslims or only a small handful.

As I said, both sides will disagree, but whatever. I have a different view of religion, religions, faith, etc.

My marriage was an arranged marriage. Like arranged marriages, the families of both sides were involved. My mother-in-law cried with joy when our side sent the proposal - she was so happy that her daughter would be married into a family she knows will take care of her, treat her well, and offer her opportunities she would not have where she is. We were happy because she comes from a respected, respectable, well-mannered family, and she will make an awesome wife and mother. (She’s already started habits that makes my parents chuckle - like scolding me when I eat stuff I should eat, like dessert.)

Why did I not tell I am not exactly the dictionary definition of Muslim? Because my faith is an issue between me and God. It’s not something that should be an issue with my relationships with other people. My family is Muslim, I love Judaism (the man I consider my mentor is an observant Orthodox Jew), my best friend is deist (God exists, and it all ends there), and my father considers himself part of no religion. I’ve studied Zoroastrianism, Ismailism, Baha’ism, Judaism, various sects of Christianity.

In retrospect, this thread has been helpful. It’s made me realize that the way I live my life or seek to live my life, whatever faith I have won’t matter. My faith is between God and myself. It really doesn’t matter what one declares publicly - what matters is what’s in one’s heart. (Ismailism has a doctrine of taqiyya, where people hide their beliefs and practices behind the practices and beliefs of the majority religion. This also has taught me that faith is between the believer and God.)

Maybe I should mention - my best friend often talks about me with his friends and family. I defy many expectations. People find me confusing, incomprehensible, baffling, etc. As a beloved professor said, I’m quirky. Hehehe. A motto of mine, after speaking a few friends, is, “Life’s always interesting with me around. It may not make sense, but it’ll be interesting.”

Anyway.

WRS

17

Well…umm…good luck

18

I’m getting the impression that WRS was born Muslim but converted to LDS:

(emphasis mine)

In any event, you need to talk with your wife about your religious practices. If she doesn’t know, she’s certainly going to be surprised.

My mom, a non-practicing Jew, married a non-practicing Christian. She eventually converted. We were raised Christian, although I have gone back to Judaism. If you don’t have a problem raising your children as Muslims, she might be okay with your LDS practice. But only she can say that. Really, open communication when she arrives is your best bet. My mom had no problems with us being raised Christian, although it did cause my grandmother some unhappiness.

I don’t know enough about either religion in your situation to comment on specifics. Just thought I’d throw in a little personal experience.

19

I believe the verb you’re actually looking for is had. Ismailism did have a doctrine of taqiyya, but not anymore. We don’t feel it neccessary to hide our doctrine and beliefs anymore.

Yes, whilst religion is between you and your God, all Muslims have to follow the five pillars, and believing in any prophet after Mohammed is not following the five pillars. Therefore, in becoming LDS, you did to a certain extent, renounce Islam.

20

WeRSauron Feel free to email me with your questions. My email is the same sn as here @aol.com and @yahoo.com.