I want to kill everything in one week!

[Aceospades]

Say I have unlimited resources and one year (or less) to prepare before the killing starts, Is it possible to kill every living thing on this planet in one week? I finally got my moon station built and stocked with hundreds of beautiful geniuses.

[Jojo]

Build thousands of huge upside down rockets and then silmultaneously set them all off propelling us into the sun.

[wolfstu]

Without destoroying the planet itself, it would be pretty hard. There are all kinds of hardy little things like ants and microbes, and those sulphur-eating bacteria in the ocean-floor volcano vents.

And my meager understanding of orbital mechanics suggests that it would be hard to get the Earth to fall exactly into the sun. You might get it close enough to singe the surface and boil the oceans, though. That might kill everything off... but who knows? there could be some bacterium somewhere under a rock or something, somehow insulated from the heat.

[Phnord Prephect]

Unlimited resources? Literally unlimited?

A year to prepare, as well?

You better believe that's possible. Take an infinite number of nukes and set 'em up in orbit. Job's done as soon as they hit the ground and blow up. Simple.

More elegant? Take your huge tugboat spaceships out to the asteroid belt, bring a few million of those suckers into LowEarthOrbit, and let 'em drop.

Even more elegant? Well, how about setting up a black hole somewhere? Ya got one, it's included in the 'unlimited' category above. q;}

[Eternal]

You could always throw ten consecutive Mortal Kombat tournaments. Then Shao Khan could take care of the rest. Of course, this plan would take 1000 years, but it would be worth it. Because god I hate living things.

[Ranchoth]

I would suggest "seeding" the atmosphere with massive quantities of certain radioactive isotopes. A fine "dust" like consistency would probably do pretty well. here's a list of the various isotopes proposed for use in "salted" nuclear weapons. Cobalt-60, for instance, has a radioactive half life of nearly 5 1/2 years.

With a little creative distribution of the fallout into Earth's air currents, and a good supply of the elements (hey, you said you'd have unlimited resourses), you could probably thoroughly contaminate most or all of Earth's surface within a week. (I'd personally want to stretch that out to a few weeks, just to be on the safe side.)

Granted, that might not have an immediate enough effect on sea life (but I'm sure it would have some effect, at least), and might not even kill the deep-sea organisms.

My second suggestion would be to use an Asteroid...or, rather, a few dozen asteroids. It is at least physically possible—if extraordinarily difficult, technologically —to move them from our solar system's [urlhttp://starchild.gsfc.nasa.gov/docs/StarChild/solar_system_level1/asteroids.html]Asteroid Belt[/url] and into a collision course with Earth.

I'd say, oh...30 asteroids, impacting on a rough "grid" upon the Earth's surface? That'd wreck havoc upon the oceans, too. Plus, I doubt that the nations of the world would be able to shoot down all of the asteroids. Especially if you have several score coming in at the same time.

The downside, of course, is that the Asteroid plan, thorough as it would be, would take significantly longer than a year to prepare for. A decade, at least. Maybe two.


"Good luck,"


Ranchoth

[rjung]

Toss the Earth into the Sun.

The details are left as an exercise for the reader.

[Odinbob]

Your main problem here is killing the ocean life and any life forms hiding out in caves. My suggestion is to make the sun become a red giant, from what i have read this will destroy mercury and venus and make earth the closest planet to the sun, That will kill your ocean life and all life on land masses, to get everything else I would try and create a massive amount of earthquakes nukes on every fault line works for me. Hope this helps

[Dunderman]

If you absolutely, definitely want to kill everything including microbes and stuff, I think you'll have to go with the "shoot Earth into the sun" plan. I don't think any amount of nukes could kill every living thing. Even if you manage to literally blow the Earth up and send the pieces flying through space, I'm sure a couple of anaerobic bacteria would make it through the first week.

[Mockingbird]

Find the worst image possible, and broadcast it into everyone's mind on a non-stop loop. I'm thinking of a menage with Ann Coulter, Pat Buchanan, and Louie Anderson.

No one would be aroused, and everyone would kill themselves to make it stop.

[Iteki]

Originally posted by Mockingbird
No one would be aroused, and everyone would kill themselves to make it stop.

Dude, how long you been on the interne? They would have an erotic fanfic newsgroup and webring within 24 hours. I would be surprised if there weren't one already.

[Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor]

To destroy all life on Earth, vote Republican in the next Presidential campaign.

[Aceospades]

Originally posted by Priceguy
If you absolutely, definitely want to kill everything including microbes and stuff, I think you'll have to go with the "shoot Earth into the sun" plan. I don't think any amount of nukes could kill every living thing. Even if you manage to literally blow the Earth up and send the pieces flying through space, I'm sure a couple of anaerobic bacteria would make it through the first week.

See that’s a problem there. With out the earth my moon base with my hundreds of beautiful geniuses would not survive. I need the earth intact so the moon stays safe.

I was thinking about a protean-based illness that kills all living things. Kind of like mad cows disease, but deadlier. I guess it would also have to be air born. Is something like this even possible? Also, even if this is possible, do you think it would kill everything in a week? Damn it I hate deadlines.

[Tyler Do'Urden]

Well, along those lines of thought, with unlimited resources you could design a nanobot virus. It wouldn't have any biological or evolutionary constraints and you could set the thing on active search-and-destroy mode to kill anything that has a cell. Then makes tons of it (it can also be self replicating in a normal environment) and spread it out using a huge fleet of aicraft, boats, and trucks. They can even be self propelled and travel on their own.

[skeptic_ev]

I think some of you are forgetting about one thing--cockroaches.

Can't be done, Aceospades. At least not without destroying the planet.

[Ranchoth]

Come to think of it, Ice-9 might do the trick.

[Aceospades]

Originally posted by Tyler Do'Urden
Well, along those lines of thought, with unlimited resources you could design a nanobot virus. It wouldn't have any biological or evolutionary constraints and you could set the thing on active search-and-destroy mode to kill anything that has a cell. Then makes tons of it (it can also be self replicating in a normal environment) and spread it out using a huge fleet of aicraft, boats, and trucks. They can even be self propelled and travel on their own.

I like the way you think. You get right on that and I’ll let you join me on my moon base.

So how far away are we from this technology? Can we do this now or maybe ten years from now or do I have to wait like 50 years before I have my army of killer nanobot minions.

[Mangetout]

Use your unlimited resources to slow the moon down in its orbit until it comes into contact with the Earth, the crust parts, magma everywhere, the planet is effectively sterilised by superheated steam and molten rock.

Worked in Larry Niven's chapter contribution in Berserker Base, anyway.

[Aceospades]

Maybe if I found a way to vaporize the earth’s atmosphere. Kind of like a reverse Total Recall . But what kind of effect would this have on the moon? Also if I vaporize the earth’s atmosphere in one day, do you think this would kill EVERYTHING by the end of the week?

[levdrakon]

I think you have to better define your unlimited resources or this won't be as fun.

You mean you could hire God to snap her fingers & poof, all gone?

Or you have all the money you could need & access to all the scientists, engineers and evil minions to carry out your plan, but using technology available today?

In the latter case, all the nukes & killer microbes available w/in a year wouldn't do it. There just aren't enough nukes to kill all the microbes everywhere. If you used killer microbes, well the killer microbes would still be alive at the end of the killing week, wouldn't they? I also don't think any kind of killer microbe we could make could kill that indescriminately.

Do you want the planet useable again after all the killing?

[Ranchoth]

Destroy the Ozone layer, and let the ultraviolet radiation sterilize the Earth's surface for you.

I'd save a few nukes for the folks huddled in caves, tho'.

[Vlad Dracul]

With unlimited resources? Easy....

1. build a time machine
2. go back several billion years
3. salt the Earth with your self-replicating nanobot virus
4. return to the present

With this head start, your nanobots will be present EVERYWHERE on the planet, long BEFORE life begins to arise! Every living thing that even STARTS to arise will be destroyed almost immediately!

Notice that this plan takes far LESS than a week to execute!

[Aceospades]

Originally posted by levdrakon
Or you have all the money you could need & access to all the scientists, engineers and evil minions to carry out your plan, but using technology available today?

I really didn’t want the other evil super villains to know how many resources I have on hand (they would make fun of me because I’ve kind of lagged behind), but I guess there’s now way around it. Lets say that I have unlimited money and manpower, access to hundreds of beautiful geniuses, technology that’s about 10 ahead of anything civilized man has today. I do have a time machine, but it only goes back as far as I’ve been alive (like Quantum Leap). Ahhhh, lets see what else I got *looks around evil super lab*. I got maybe 2 and ½ cups of anti-matter. Some kryptonite. The complete collection of Calvin and Hobbes (I’m not totally evil, I’ve got to have some outlet). A nuclear powered rocking horse. Some genetically engineered crosses of potbelly pigs and elephants (they make great pets). A space ship that can make it to Pluto and back in about 3 months (I use this mostly for joy rides). A transporter to go to the moon and back (the kind that makes a clone and destroys the original – and yes I’ve tried to keep the original, it doesn’t work that way). A plaque for “BEST EVIL EARTHLING” given to me by the sludge people of Alpha 539 (I don’t really talk to them any more, there to clingy). Some glass tubes and beakers and that’s about it.

[El Elvis Rojo]

Originally posted by Ranchoth
Come to think of it, Ice-9 might do the trick.

I was thinking the exact same thing. Just in case you don't know about Ice-9 [b]Aceospades[/i], it's a chemical that raises the freezing temperature of water to something like 68 degrees Celsius (it's been a while since I've read Cat's Craddle, so I could be off a bit). Any living being that comes in contact with it freezes instantly, and if it gets into a body of water, it will spread to all connecting bodies of water, including oceans and underground reservoirs. This will take care of all your ocean life, including bacteria and the like, but it may still leave you a few by those volcanic vaults (I have no idea how hot the temperature there gets). Also, it's possible for life on land to survive for a while, but bring down your robot army, and you should be able to clean that off your boot in no time.

[Atrael]

Damn, someone stole my story idea...*pouts*...although I was only interested in killing all the people, and didn't care about a time limit. Of course I don't know squat about biochemistry, so I suppose it's my own fault for not writting it yet...*sigh*.

[j666]

But I won't tell you because I'm not on the moon-base list.

[PunditLisa]

You'd need a huge fan and an incredibly large bottle of RoundUp. That stuff kills EVERYTHING in its path. As an added bonus, it is absorbed into the soil in 24 hours and you can start planting new stuff.

Of course, since you didn't pick ME to cohabitate the new and improved planet, even though I am both beautiful AND a genius, maybe I shouldn't have given you my bright idea.

Never mind.

[Neidhart]

Build some kind of shield which completely blocks sunlight from reaching the earth. (I don't know how long it would take for temperatures to sink to levels incompatible with life, though.)

[levdrakon]

Hmm. Take your beautiful geniuses with you as far back as you are old - what? 12, 13 years? - build a huge orbiting panel big enough to permanently eclipse the sun (thereby creating a devastating ice-age), along with a pretty snazzy space laser type missile defense system. Take out all the Earth's missile launch capabilities, once you're sure Earth can't launch a counter attack return to the present and everything but microbes should be dead.

There may be a few scattered populations of humans living underground somehow but that's ok. You'll need their genetic diversity to repopulate the Earth once you dismantle the orbiting panel. Sorry kiddo, you can't repopulate the Earth with your own seed & those beautiful geniuses despite what you've heard. The kids would all be too closely related.

[kambuckta]

Y'know, this is a real paradox. The mods on this board close and delete any thread that pertains to nicking music off the internet, but they ALLOW suggestions as to how to destroy the earth and its inhabitants.

Curious.

[coffeecat]

If everyone's dead, there'd be no one left to sue them.