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#1
08-11-2003, 01:20 PM
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Lets jus't ban fucking apostrophe's.
Because nobody knows how to use the damn things anymore. I went into my credit union office to deposit a check today, and the first thing I saw was a sign. Someone had actually gone to the trouble to type this up on a computer, print out several copies, and post them all over the place so you couldn't avoid looking at them. The sign read:
Please do not wait in line for loan's or new account's. Go to the first window on the right. The longer I have to stand in line at my credit union, the longer I have to look at it. The credit union probably tells its people they have to wear certain types of clothes and not wear other types of clothes, in order to project a professional image. My views on dress codes are fairly well known here, so it should surprise few to learn that I would rather see the employees in jeans and t-shirts, if they could only compose a simple sign without such glaring errors. That would project a professional image in my book. And before anyone accuses me of being a prescriptive grammarian, let me point out that misplaced apostrophes make a piece of writing confusing, jarring, and cognitively dissonant. When I see "account's" or "loan's", I think to myself, "The account's what?" I don't get it. I can't see what's so hard about using the apostrophe correctly. But, it appears, I represent a dwindling minority. Yet rather than rage blindly against the menace of apostrophe abuse, I offer a simple solution. Just don't use them. If you don't know where it goes, or if you need one, just leave it out entirely. The rest of us will still understand what you mean, and you will be right more often than not by just omitting them. So what do you say? 
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#3
08-11-2003, 01:30 PM
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Oh my—I am so with you on the apostrophe abuse!
I am becoming increasingly dismayed at my own bad grammar and spelling (but I am working in improving it), but I will say one thing—I don't think I've been guilty of the worst of the apostrophe abuse. And yes, it drives me absolutely BONKERS to see simple plural words with that fricking apostrophe in them. And you're right, I'd also much prefer to see people wearing jeans and t-shirts but get the damned apostrophes where they are supposed to be! (Or rather, NOT put the damned apostrophes in everything that ends with an "s"!) ARGGGHHHH! (I even bought the "Apostrophe" t-shirt from angryflower.com. I feel quite strongly about this!)
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#4
08-11-2003, 01:34 PM
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I say preach it, brother!
I work part-time for a company that puts up many homemade signs. EVERY GODDAMN ONE OF THEM HAS A FUCKING TYPO OF SOME SORT ON IT!!! "Please Do No Throw Paper Towels in Toilet" is the one that's currently up. But if it's not one thing, it's another. Or should I say "If its not one thing, its another"?
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#5
08-11-2003, 01:35 PM
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There is a sign in my local laundromat that says:
Quote:
DaLovin Dj (I left out the apostrophs in this post just for the OP)
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#6
08-11-2003, 01:35 PM
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I say It's not a problem in my book. I just think it's laziness on the persons part when they can't figure out the proper place for apostrophes, commas or other such items. Do away with ALL of it! Who needs punctuation or proper usage anyway?
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#9
08-11-2003, 01:59 PM
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No quote marks for the URL in vBulletin markups, unlike HTML...
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#11
08-11-2003, 02:03 PM
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Quote:
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#12
08-11-2003, 02:05 PM
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And speaking of quote marks, there is a sign on a lawn near my apartment that reads:
No "Trespassing" "Owner" WTF does that mean?
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#13
08-11-2003, 02:09 PM
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At the Shoopers Food Warehouse where I used to go they had a sign saying "Food Cost Too Much". It used to drive me nuts and I would mention it to the cashiers and managers every time. I guess they then went and posted in some bulletin board about how anal some customers are.
My own collection of Chinese Engrish
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#14
08-11-2003, 02:14 PM
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Thank you!!!! I hate the whole apostrophe issue. I just don't understand what the hell is so difficult about it.
And on the homemade sign front, our building management is running a school supply drive. We have a sign in the front hallway on a box to collect the supplies. The sign on the box reads: "Back To Scool!" I tried to put an H in there with a black felt-tip pen, but it's a laminated sign. Amanda
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#16
08-11-2003, 02:22 PM
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According to this page you don't need quotes. Wierd. It seems like I always use quotes in tags. Experiment:
Engrish - With quotes (and no http://) Engrish - Without quotes (and no http://) Engrish - With quotes as well as http:// Engrish - Without quotes but with the http:// Hmmm. They all work. It seems like the quotes aren't necessary (all the keystrokes I could have saved!), but they shouldn't break a link. The first of the above 4 links to Engrish was exactly the way I typed it in my first post. That coding SHOULD work. Bizarre. It looks like someone pissed off the punctuation marks with this thread. They are rioting! Striking! Chaos, I tell you! Chaos! DaLovin' Dj
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#20
08-11-2003, 03:25 PM
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An aquaintance has revealed this glorious sign at an Indiana shop:
Home Made Pie' Yes, a lone apostrophe with no "s" -- WTFWTT?
__________________
Nametag is my hero - chorpler Let Nametag henceforth be known as the subjunctive king! - trupa
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#21
08-11-2003, 03:30 PM
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From today's NY Times Web site . . .
Gregory Hines, the genial, suave dancer, singer and actor who for many personified the art of classical tap in the 1980's and 90's, died late Saturday on his way to a hospital from his home in Los Angeles.
. . . The house was moved to Garrison and fully restored as a museum in the 1950's. . . . I may slash my wrist's.
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#22
08-11-2003, 03:32 PM
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OK - I can go one better here. I once saw a neon sign with a rogue apostrophe -- someone had gone to the trouble of actually manufacturing a little neon apostrophe that shouldn't be there. I can't remember exactly what it said but it was something glaring like "Half price drink's".
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#26
08-11-2003, 04:32 PM
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dalovindj, that laundry sounds like one I used to go to. Do they have a "Drop of Laundry Service?"
This sign has been painted and re-painted on the side of a deli/corner store for years-- "Sandwiches 'Our' Specialty."
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#28
08-11-2003, 06:20 PM
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Why? WHY? WHY???? I'm with you guys on the apostrophe thing. It drives me up the wall when people use apostrophes for simple plurals. I work in a law office right now, where I receive emails from the legal secretaries requesting file folders, which I then make and distribute. I get email after email from legal secretaries with subject lines like "Please make the following folder's..." I've thus far successfully resisted the urge to correct them, lest I look like a complete ass. So I suffer in silence.
It's not difficult. I just don't get it.
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#29
08-11-2003, 06:38 PM
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A gas station in our town now proudly bears a spanking new sign:
"BOBS FUEL AND SERVICE" Given all the extra apostrophes running around, one would think that BOB could borrow one. I agree when we get rid of apostrophes, the quote marks are the next up against the wall. There's a sign at the grocery store that says: "CAUTION:" "SOME OLIVES MAY CONTAIN PITS" "CAUTION"? I should be "cautious"? The snafu unfolds in my mind's eye: Olive Manager: Ah good, the sign is in. What? Why is it in quotes? Sign Maker: That's what you asked for. See, here's the form right here! Olive Manager: What? I put it in quotes to indicate that this is what I wanted on the sign. You're not supposed to put the quote marks on the sign! Who wants quote marks on the sign? Sign Maker: Oh, you'd be surprised . ..
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#30
08-11-2003, 06:57 PM
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Some people think using quotation marks for emphasis is allowed. I think it's "so" wrong. The example I remember is a photo from someplace in the States (where this seems to happen most) over a rack of liquor, was the sign "Wine". Which wouldn't make me wanna buy any.
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#31
08-11-2003, 07:12 PM
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Some of the signs mentioned remind me of the following, which a friend had found in a small Greek hotel (though this was presumably NOT written by someone who should know better, so we have to forgive him/her):
The management is not responsible for values or precious objects leaved in the rooms.
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#32
08-11-2003, 07:14 PM
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Re: From today's NY Times Web site . . .
Quote:
Just be glad they didn't call him "Gregory Hine's".
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#33
08-11-2003, 07:16 PM
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For years, as I went back and forth from college to home, I'd pass by a store with big, blue letters on the side: "FRANK'S GUN AND POWN".
Actually, I don't think I ever noticed if the apostrophe was there or not. I was always too appalled at the misspelling. Because it's bad enough that they managed to purchase and install big letters on the side of their building without anyone noticing a problem. But what's worse is that the owner apparently couldn't even spell the name of the business that he's in! I heard a few months ago they finally fixed it. Upstairs in the offices at work, someone attached a folder to a bulletin board full of menus from take-out restaurants in the area. The folder was, of course, labeled MENU'S. One day, after hours, I sneaked up there, grabbed a bottle of white-out and I fixed it. Felt damn good, too.
__________________
Just a guy made of dots and lines
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#35
08-11-2003, 07:38 PM
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Re: Re: From today's NY Times Web site . . .
Quote:
And my "wrist's" gag was a joke.
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#36
08-11-2003, 07:51 PM
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I am currently having to study punctuation and such (and am realizing how absymal I am at all of it) and I believe that an apostrophe is used to indicate "missing" letters or figures. As in, '50s. See--it is supposed to be 1950s, so the apostrophe indicates that something is missing--the "19." But there is no need to put an apostrophe in "1950s", because for one thing, there's no figures missing, and why would the apostrophe be between the 0 and the s anyway? It makes no sense.
And, when you are using just one letter (and not all letters, just certain ones) you have to put an apostrophe to indicate that you are talking about a letter, not making a different word. (I can see that it is too confusing to explain.) For instance, if I was indicating the plural of the letter "I", (like I meant lots and lots of the letter "I"), I would write "I's", because if I wrote "Is", well, it just looks like Is. And that's confusing. So the apostrophe is put in there to eleminate the confusion. But if I am writing something like "ATMs" or "CDs," well, there's no real confusion as to what I mean--no one is going to think that I was writing the word "atms" or something., because there is no such word. (And the capital "ATM" followed by the lowercase "s" really eleminates any possible confusion.) So there is no need for an apostrophe. But some people will still put it in, and in some manuals of style, I guess it is acceptable to put an apostrophe in "ATMs" and "CDs", etc., but I personally don't like it. At all.
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#37
08-11-2003, 07:53 PM
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#40
08-11-2003, 08:28 PM
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dalovindj: Your original post's VB code has a pair of single quotes on the left of the URL and a single double quote on the right. It's hard to tell with the typeface the board uses, but since I have eagle eyes and am a nerd, I notice these kinds of things.
I realize that the thread is wayyyy past this issue, but I hate to leave a mystery unsolv'd.
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#41
08-11-2003, 08:33 PM
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Quote:
Not really related to grammar, but increasingly a peeve on business signs - telephone numbers displayed prominently, particularly on signs in inner city neighborhoods. What -- someone driving by is going to write down the phone number of E-Z Hand Car Wash or Liberty Check Cashing as they drive by? Besides, if they did take the time to write them down, and they did call, what would the conversation be like? "E-Z Hard Car Wash ... what you want?" "Uhhh ... do you wash cars?" "Yeah." "Okay. Thanks."
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#42
08-11-2003, 08:40 PM
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I forgot to mention the banner I saw displayed at a local florist a few days ago.
SPECIAL BOKAY'S AVAILABLE Only thing that would make the sign perfectly wrong would be some random quotes around one word.
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#43
08-11-2003, 08:55 PM
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How about this one, seen at my school, on the door to a suite of rooms for kids who are learning disabled or challenged:
RESOURCE ROOM'S Oh the irony. But the best typo I ever saw was on this guy's house, on a piece of corkboard: DEERS CUT UP AND RAPED He meant to write DEER CUT UP AND WRAPPED, or so I was told. Though perhaps that's not a safe assumption...
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#44
08-11-2003, 09:39 PM
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I see extra apostrophes everywhere. Do you know why this makes me so angry? Because correct apostrophe use is NOT THAT FREAKING DIFFICULT. Plural = no apostrophe, possessive = apostrophe. You don't need a college degree for that. You don't even need a high school diploma. You learned it in English every year starting in third grade, for Pete's sake! It just ISN'T THAT HARD!
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#45
08-11-2003, 09:59 PM
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I hear you...once, last year, the Cheerleading squad put up this sign for a pep rally. I added the missing apostrophe in with my lipstick.
The other day, my family and I went to the flea market. They have this little strip with fair food...french fries, hot dogs, lemonade, stuff like that. There was this gyro stand, which, in four words, had managed two different apostrophe mistakes: Rogers Original Greek Gyro's. Gah!
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#46
08-11-2003, 10:18 PM
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Quote:
Launder Mat There just aren't enough  s (note the lack of apostrophes) in the world to express how I feel about this. Sheesh.Orange Skinner: What did the cheerleaders' sign say, anyway?
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#47
08-11-2003, 10:52 PM
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A while back I was killing time, wandering around a department store and found myself in the section selling curtains and such. What did the sign read? "Home Furnishing's" with extra apostrophe and quotes. I had to leave before my head exploded.
There is hope for the future however, though perhaps not with apostrophes. At my highschool I was very proud to notice that last year's "Can Food Drive" posters (provided by the local Red Cross, not our ASB) had all been corrected. Of course most of the kids had added question marks. S'more funny that way.
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#48
08-11-2003, 11:05 PM
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I have gotten so bad when I see them that I actually shriek when uses one where she shouldn't. I can understand it at a construction site (for employee's only) or at a rural dump (tresspassor's will be prosecuted...), but ... come on. There *got* to be a standard here!
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#49
08-11-2003, 11:19 PM
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The other day online I saw several people claiming that it's actually perfectly acceptable to use apostrophes to indicate the plural, if the plural is of an acronym: DVD's, CD's, TV's. Please tell me that this is not the case.
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#50
08-12-2003, 01:06 AM
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Quote:
I believe it said, Lets Go Tigers! before editing. Granted, the apostrophe in this case wasn't a possession problem, but a contraction one, which is a different form of apostrophe abuse--but still. I'm tired of the apostrophe getting pushed around! And don't even get me started on the slow decent to blackness that my beloved semi-colon is on...poor thing. I bet if you told them that let's actually meant let us, they'd look at you like you were insane...but we're more of an athletically-geared school than an academic one, anyway.
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