The use of apostrophes even on this well-educated board is occasionally woeful. They’re not that fucking hard to learn. I’m going to tell you how to use them. Two little rules, and one addendum. That’s all.
1: Apostrophes are NEVER used to denote plurals.
No, not if the word ends in a vowel. No, not if it’s an abbreviation*. NEVER.
Example of how to do this: I ate three burritos. I ate seven tamales. DVDs for sale. The 1920s.
2: Apostrophes denote either a missing letter, or possession.
Examples of missing letter: Didn’t - short for did not. It’s - short for it is. That’s - short for that is. You’re - short for you are. '90s - short for 1990s. [OK it’s a missing number - same principle though.]
Example of possession: The cat’s basket.
If it’s a plural and a possessive then you move the apostrophe to the end of the word. Example: The dogs’ bones. [The bones belong to the dogs.]
If the plural doesn’t end in a letter S, then you do it just like the singular: The children’s playground. [The playground belongs to the children.]
Addendum: Treat the possessive “its” like you would “his” or “hers”.
Example: See that car? I like its color. [The color belongs to the car]
This Public Service Announcement has been brought to you by jjimm’s patronising nitpick factory. Thank you.
*This is possibly a debatable stylistic point, and, IMO, is what caused all the confusion in the first place. So fuck off.
Thank you, jjimm, for this very timely post. I was going to post something on this subject just last night but the boards were too slow. You see, yesterday I received an email at work that had, by far, the worst apostrophe error that the world has ever seen. For those of you who are bothered by such things, I suggest that you read no further.
I have a co-worker named Charles. He is a well liked and competent man who had to take the day off yesterday. Jenny (NCTPTI) sits next to Charles and was asked to inform all of us that Charles wouldn’t be in for the day. She sent the following email to the entire company:
Jenny, an apostrophe does not mean: Hey everybody, I just wanted to let y’all know that there will be an s at the end of this word.
Continue your lesson jjimm, besides the pronoun it, what about other pronouns, one, for example: should the possessive be one’s or ones? Eh?
::sound of can of worms opening::
I believe that the apostrophe in the possessive of the pronoun “one” is to distinguish it from the plural.
Examples:
To neglect one’s education is foolish.
He left all of the ones in his wallet, but put the fives in the desk.
The ones who committed this deed will be punished.
Regarding “its,” “hers,” “his,” and so on: They are not exactly parallel since there’s a distinction between “her” and “hers;” the former is a true possessive whereas “hers” is used as an object.
However, “his” is used for both situations.
The dog chewed its bone.
The girl ate her sandwich. (Not “hers.”)
The sandwich is hers.
The man ate his sandwich.
The sandwich is his.
Thank you for posting this; it is an incredibly easy concept that is ignored continuously. I can almost excuse omitting the apostrophe, since it is relatively easy to accidentally do so, but going to the extra trouble of inserting an extra one is IMHO inexcusable. How difficult a concept is plural and possessive, after all?
I don’t have a picture, but I swear I have seen “ladie’s clothing.”
Sometimes you see “boy’s gym.” When I see that, I always think, “What a lucky fellow, to have an entire gym all to himself. I wonder who that boy is?”
I have a photo of a hand-painted sign on a neighbor’s fence: the sign says, “BEWARE OF DOG’S”. About half the folks to whom I show the photo laugh and say, “Beware of dog’s what?” The other half ask me why I’m showing them that particular picture (sigh).
Hell, even the NY Times doesn’t know how to use possessive apostrophes: they are notorious for printing “It was built in the 1960’s” and “She was in her 20’s.” They admit it’s wrong, but they still keep it up. Drives me nertz.
I found jjimm’s typo! I found the mistake! Gaudere strikes again.
As has been mentioned, “whose” is a possessive pronoun that does not take an apostrophe. It is easily distinguished from “who’s,” the contraction of “who is.”
loose: adjective, opposite of tight. lose: verb, to misplace. Somebody do “affect” and “effect”!
