Have Clog Boy translate your favourite insult to Dutch!

[Coldfire]

Yes, that's right folks. Come and get it.

As I promised Neuro in some Pit thread I forget right now, I'm hereby opening the Official Coldfire EN-DU Insult Translation Booth. Translations will be provided with the correct pronunciation. Since Neuro set me up to it, she'll be getting the first five insults for free. The rest of y'all will owe me one eternally for every translated insult.

Fire away, and I shall return fire in Dutch!

(Euty: Dutch insults are usually very polite and hardly contain profanities. However, given the foul nature of the English language, this might actually become a rather iffy topic for MPSIMS. You are of course free to move this baby to the Pit if necessary.)

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Defect borg:
"Refutile is sistance. Your ass will be simulated".
_______________________________________________________
WallyM7 on Coldfire:
"Yeah, he knows a little about everything because they have a good prison library."

[meek]

Ok - I'll bite...

Translate:

Smart as a bowl of hair.

Thanks.

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Take care.

[Coldfire]

Smart as a bowl of hair.

Zo slim als een schaal met haar.

"zow slim olls un scháál mit háár"

The "sch" sound is very hard to pronounce though. I don't know any English speaker that has mastered it properly.

[meek]

Thanks.

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Zo slim als een schaal met haar.

[WallyM7]

Somebody dipped Bj0rn into the stupid pot. Twice.

[Coldfire]

Somebody dipped Bj0rn into the stupid pot. Twice.

Iemand heeft bj0rn in de idiotenpot laten vallen. Twee keer.

"Eemund hafe-t bj0rn in du eedeeyo-tun-pot látun vallun. Tway kirr."

[WallyM7]

Thanks, Coldy.

[meek]

"As sharp as a pound of wet liver"

[Coldfire]

"As sharp as a pound of wet liver"

Zo scherp als een pond natte lever.

"Zow scherp àls un pônd nàttu layvir."

[Mullinator]

Coldfire,
You rock.

And amazingly, even though it is a Monday morning, I am getting sick, and I have to compute sales & use taxes all day for my company, I am in a pretty splendid mood. I don't require an insult translation. If Mr. Socko keeps up his shenanigans, I will be back.

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We went right out there and refused to do accoustical versions of the electrical songs that we had refused to record in the first place.

[SwimmingRiddles]

I was friends with a Dutch exchange student in high school, who would regularly scream: "If ONE more person asks me if it's true that prostitution/pot/anything else is legal in my country, I'll..." "You'll what?" "I'll not answer them!" She rocked.

Anyway, I got her to tell me what "You are a monkey-face" in Dutch is, but I forgot. I learned that phrase in Indonesian, along with a few choice phrases. (phonetically: Kamu barrrr-mooka mon-yet).

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________________________________
I'm waiting for my Wally quote.

[Coldfire]

Originally posted by SwimmingRiddles:
"You are a monkey-face"[/b]

Je bent een apekop!

"Yu bent un áápu-kop!"

That's quite an archaic one, though.

[aha]

Ok Coldy here is one to translate,

Mr socko is a cheeky monkey

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I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling.
famous C&W song

Yours truly,
aha

[NickyLarson]

My turn.

"He hasn't got his head TOO far up his ass."

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You'd think that Superman would be a good person to invite to a barbecue but trust me, he's not. I mean, sure he can cook the hot dogs fast with his heat vision, but they all taste of charred eye boogers.

[Flypsyde]

Fuckwaffle.

Just for you, Cold.

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Battles are won in nuance.

[Coldfire]

Originally posted by aha:
Mr socko is a cheeky monkey

Meneer Sokje is een brutaal aapje.

"Mun-ir Sôk-yu is un brew-táál áápju"

[Coldfire]

Originally posted by NickyLarson:
"He hasn't got his head TOO far up his ass."

Hij heeft zijn kop niet TE ver in zijn reet zitten.

"Hi hafe-t zááy-n kôp neet TÛ vèr in zááy-n rate zittun."

[Coldfire]

Originally posted by Flypsyde:
Fuckwaffle

Neukwafel.

"Nóó-k wáá-ful"

My fave so far

[Squee]

Alright CF:

"Please remove your penis from my mountain goat"

[Coldfire]

Originally posted by Squee:
"Please remove your penis from my mountain goat"

Wilt u alstublieft uw penis uit mijn berggeit halen?

"Wilt úú àls-túú-blee-ft úúw pay-nis úît mááy-n bèrg-gay-t háálun?"

WTF????

[NickyLarson]

Danke Schoen, Coldfire!

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You'd think that Superman would be a good person to invite to a barbecue but trust me, he's not. I mean, sure he can cook the hot dogs fast with his heat vision, but they all taste of charred eye boogers.

[SqrlCub]

My favourite insult that I made up for girls is as follows:

Shut-up! You putrid producer of human caviar!

For boys:

Shut-up! You flatulant flinger of hillbilly ejaculate!

HUGS to you Coldfire!
Sqrl

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SqrlCub's Arizona Adventure

[Coldfire]

Originally posted by SqrlCub:
Shut-up! You putrid producer of human caviar!

Hou je bek! Jij gore producent van menselijke kaviaar!

"How jû bèk! Yááy gore-û pro-dúú-cent vôn men-suh-luh-kuh kà-vee-yáár!"

You flatulant flinger of hillbilly ejaculate!

Jij ruftende boerenzaadverslingeraar!

"Yááy rùf-tun-du booh-rùn-záád-vursling-uh-ráár!"

OK, that last word is completely made up since there is no such thing as a Hillbilly in Holland. It literally would translate into "Farmers Semen Slinger"

[SqrlCub]

Jij ruftende boerenzaadverslingeraar!

hehheheh... I would like to throw that last word into a search engine and see what I can come up with. I bet it would find some pretty unusual porn sites.

You Rock, Coldfire!

HUGS!
Sqrl

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SqrlCub's Arizona Adventure

[Coldfire]

No hits on Altavista... as I said, I made it up

[danielnsmith]

Coldfire, could you please translate the following:

Take a flying leap at a rolling donut!

and:

You're a few bricks short of a chimeny!

Thanks

[Satan]

Lick my bag.

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Yer pal,
Satan

[Coldfire]

Originally posted by danielnsmith:
Take a flying leap at a rolling donut!

Spring vliegend naar een rollende donut!

"Spring vlee-gunt náár un roll-unde donut!"

You're a few bricks short of a chimeny!

Voor een schoorsteen kom je een paar bakstenen te kort!

"Vore un schore-stain kôm ju un páár bàkstain-un tu kôrt!"

[Coldfire]

Originally posted by Satan:
Lick my bag.

Ah... the always Eloquent Dark One

Lik mijn zak.

"lik mine zàk."

[Seraphim]

How about this one?

Get off my back, you tulip-picking windmill fucker!

[Kamino Neko]

You're a slice short of a loaf, a joker short of a full deck, a coffin short of a funeral, and about 3 bits short of a byte.

(I really must use that one.)



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Eschew Obfuscation

[Gazelle]

Oooh oooh! How does one say, "Suck my ass" in Dutch?

Big love to ya, Coldy!

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You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

With love from the poster voted as having the "Most Confusing Username"

[phouka]

Hmmm, here's one I used at work, recently:

"Fuck off you cum burping, corporate whore and let me pee in peace."

Acknowledgements, of course, to PLDennison.

[tracer]

That sounds somewhat reminiscent of "sperm-burping gutter slut."

*sigh* I miss The Dysfunctional Family Circus.

[WhiteNight]

A friend of mine desires to have "Fuck them, if they can't take a joke!" translated into six different languages. Being that English is one, we could assume we only need five more.

So, Coldfire, could you please tell me what

"Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke!"

translates into in Dutch?

Thanks.

And, anyone else able to translate it into something else is hereby requested to do so.

[Surgoshan]

Hmm.


"What in the sweet name of holy fuck is wrong with you? Will you please stop making noises with your mouth? You seriously annoy me. In fact, I'm beginning to progress into a stage of annoyance the likes of which the world has never seen before. QUAIL BEFORE ITS AWESOME GLORY! THIS ANNOYANCE IS BEYOND ALL! BEHOLD, HE IS RISEN!"

Translation please.

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I sold my soul to Satan for a dollar. I got it in the mail.

[Surgoshan]

Hmm, Fuck em if they can't take a joke. In french, it might be:

Les nict s'ils puevent pas prendre une plaisanterie.

"Lay kneect seal poov pa prawn dre oon play son ter ee"

The bolded word is iffy. might wanna check with someone more up to date on their french.

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I sold my soul to Satan for a dollar. I got it in the mail.

[Vestal Blue]

Originally posted by Coldfire:
Neukwafel.

"Nóó-k wáá-ful"

My fave so far

Could this be where the term nooky (for sex) came from?

Here's one for you, Coldy!

"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!"



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VB

Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well.

[TripleAnt]

How about:

You are nothing more than a llama's anus?

Thanks

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"I have a lot of good ideas, problem is most of them suck." -George Carlin

[BigRoryG]

The french might work better as:

"Foudrez-les s'ils ne peuvent pas prendre une plaisentrie"

"foodray lay seal neu ......"

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"My drinking team has a Rugby problem."
This sig line has been brought to you by the creative mind of Wally

If you need a graphic solution, http:\\talk.to\Piglet

How about "you are a monumental waste of carbon"?

[Coldfire]

OK, the line stops here. I'll start translating now, but no more new entries.

Oh and Satan? Lik mijn zak

[Coldfire]

Originally posted by Tengu:
You're a slice short of a loaf

Voor een brood kom je een sneetje te kort.

a joker short of a full deck

Voor een hele stok kom je een joker te kort.

a coffin short of a funeral

Voor een begrafenis kom je een kist te kort.

and about 3 bits short of a byte

Voor een byte kom je ongeveer 3 bits te kort.


These don't really work in Dutch though. The "one **** short of a ****" is just too English to translate.

[Coldfire]

Originally posted by Satan:
You sir, are nothing but walking anal leakage.

U, Meneer, bent niets dan een lopende anale lekkage.

Very snappy, even in Dutch!

[Coldfire]

Originally posted by android209:
How about 'You can stick your total football up your arse'?. Or maybe '4-1'.

I think we both know I'm not going to translate that. Couch hooligan

[Coldfire]

Originally posted by Rysdad:
Kiss me on the fat part of my ass!

Kus me op het vette deel van mijn reet!

Why don't run along and play hide and go fuck yourself?

Waarom flikker je niet gewoon op en ga je verstoppertje met jezelf spelen?

[Coldfire]

Originally posted by Canthearya:
Suck my ass

Zuig mijn reet.

Althoug "Lik mijn reet" is more common.

[Coldfire]

Originally posted by phouka:
Fuck off you cum burping, corporate whore and let me pee in peace.

Flikker op, jij zaad opboerende bedrijfssloerie, en laat me op mijn gemak zeiken!

[Lexicon]

Ooooh, yeah, do this one!


Fuck off, you fucking bucket of fuck!

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Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.

[Coldfire]

Originally posted by WhiteNight:
Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke!

Laat ze opflikkeren als ze niet tegen een geintje kunnen!