Riding my tail with highbeams on is a recipe to make me go slower, not faster...

The BBQ Pit
1

I’m sure many of you will probably hate me for this, but here goes. Coming back from Thanksgiving dinner at a family friend’s house, I found myself on a narrow two-lane road with no shoulder (common where I live, and was in fact a similar road to a previous pitting of mine, but less windy), going about 30 mph in a 35 mph zone, but hey, it’s 11 PM, no streetlights, I’m tired, have a bit of a food coma, so going 5 mph under the speed limit doesn’t seem so bad. Then this car appears in the rearview and rapidly closes the distance (he was probably going 50 mph), with his highbeams on. He gets so close as to hump my rear, letting his mad beams tear into my retinas, as the piercing light was reflected by the rearview mirror, the front windshield, the sideview mirrors, and worst of all, my glasses. I was seeing spots, these things were so bright.

My first reaction was “wtf?!” followed by an intense desire to tell the guy to get the fuck off of my ass. Of course, without microphone and speakers to deliver the message verbally, I was going to have to try another approach. So I flashed my brake lights a couple of times, hoping he’d wise up. Nope. Mr. Highbeam even beeped me. I’m glad he supplied the audio for our little late-night program.

After about a minute of this, I decided enough was enough. I slowed down to 25 mph, then to 20 mph, but the guy was still content to ride my tail, letting his bright shining manhood fill my eyes, which were kind of aching at this point and not in fine shape for discerning dark objects in the road ahead. My passenger (Mom) even had to close her eyes because it was bothering her, and she wasn’t even in direct line with the rearview. Finally I got us down to a painful 15 mph, and said to myself, Fuck it, if Mr. Highbeam is in such a fucking hurry, then Mr. Highbeam can either back off and turn off his high beams or continue our little caravan at 15 mph (it was a double yellow line road, so I guess passing was technically illegal). He did not relent, and we went on for another 20 minutes at our fun little speed, and he honked his horn a couple more times. I think I flashed my brakelights in response whenever he did that, but he did not seem to get the point. Mom kept saying “he should know better, he should know better…”

As our trek continued, a line of cars began to form behind us, so these innocent folks were also getting screwed. I apologize for the inconvenience, guys, but I do not apologize for my actions.
I mean, Mr. Highbeam was imparing my driving ability, and the best response I could think of was to slow down. And yeah, I guess it was kinda vindictive, as well. Ride my tail with highbeams from hell, and you WILL get a nasty case of SLOW-ASS-WINDWALKERITIS.

So I hope you enjoyed yourself, Mr. Highbeam. May you follow slow cars for the rest of your driving days.

Flame away.

2

Apologise? He needs his head kicked in. I’ll gladly do it for you.

3

A guy who went to the same school as me supposedly used to pop out the fuse for his brakelights and stamp on the brakes if tailgated. As the story goes he got hit a few times, claimed for his injuries on the other guys’ insurance, the other guys were charged with negligent driving. He was certainly crazy enough to do it but it may just be a wishful thinking high school reunion urban myth.

4

The guy’s a dickhead, but I have to be the first killjoy and ask:

Was it possible for you to just pull over? I know it’s hard to do, because it feels like you’re giving in to the assholes, but in the end it’s better for you, better for the asshole (let him speed and get his ass caught by the cops), and better for the people who were stuck behind you.

Of course, if it wasn’t possible for you to pull over, then fuck 'em. He’s got no business trying to force you to go faster than you want to.

5

This discussion comes up every now and then here, and IMHO YOU were being just as much of a jerk as the tailgater and possibly more.

If you want to drive 5 mph under the speed limit, you should freaking pull over every now and then and let people go by. Yes, tailgating is not the proper way to indicate that one would like to pass, but it’s not for you to enforce road etiquette. Besides, it’s very possible that the tailgater had a bona fide and important reason to get where he was going quickly. And if not, as BayleDomon says, let the cops deal with his driving. Finally, as a practical matter, you are risking you and your mother’s lives by intentionally impeding traffic and inviting a road rage incident.

In short, two wrongs don’t make a right. If somebody tailgates you in a situation like that, just freaking pull over and let them pass. If they are driving super-aggressively, call the local law on a mobile phone and report them.

6

It case it was missed (seems like it was), I would like to point out that the OP says: "I found myself on a narrow two-lane road with no shoulder"

Soulds like it wasn’t physically possible to pull over anywhere.

Vaguely interesting semi-related story:
This afternoon, I was driving down a normal two-lane road. There was a car in front of me being driven by a person who didn’t seem to know where they were going; they were doing 10 under the speed limit, braking, turn signal on, turn signal off, braking more, etc. Eventually another car comes up behind me. Rides about 2 inches from my car. After about 30 seconds of that, he passes me and in-front-of-me-car. Did I mention it was a no-passing zone?
I flipped him the bird as he passed me.
Later on, I went to work, and one of the guys I work with comes up to me.
“Do you drive a red firebird?”
I laughed. It was him. He told me to learn to drive. I told him he was a bitchass (except in more detail, elaborating on all of the reasons why he is a bitchass).
It’s always fun when you get to tell those kinds of people what you think of them.

7

Have a cellphone, call 911

in most areas tailgating, speeding, and driving w/ brights on with cars x ft away are all illegal.

also perhaps putting on your hazzard lights will indicate to this ickhead that you are not gong to be traveling any faster.

I want t bumper sticker that says something along the lines that if you want me to slow down just tailgate me.

8

Man, lucwarm beat me to it. I was hoping to be the first poster to point out that YOU, Windwalker, were being a Fuckhead.

The night my dad died my sister was trying in desperation to reach his house. She got behind some shithead like you who decided to teach her a lesson. She tried to slow down till a passing area appeared but guess what. Mr. Shithead like to speed up on the straights and didn’t pull over when the shoulder allowed it.

Not everybody is on your tail because they are assholes. Some have emergencies, are sick, …and some are drunk.

How smart are you to keep a drunk on your tail so that he has the opportunity to use his fucked up judgement on your bumper?

Looks to me like two asshole drivers found each other.

Bubba

9

Dear Bubba.

Didn’t read the OP, I see. I think it was said there was no place to pull over. Also, the driver in the back didn’t seem to think of passing the slower traffic. The Original Complaintant isn’t bound to go past the speed limit, you know.

So… slowing down not safe, but not exactly suicidal.

10

Sorry, but that’s BS. In a stretch of road a mile or longer, there’s ALWAYS a place to pull over, whether it’s a driveway, a side street, or a freaking patch of dirt. In light traffic, you don’t even have to pull entirely off the road.

11

Gotta agree with those who say you’re a tool for slowing down. I’m not saying you’re a tool all the time, but slowing down, putting you, your mom, the tailgater, and others in jeopardy is a dumb-ass thing to do. If you pull over to the right as much as you could (yeah, yeah, no room to pull off the road, blah, blah, blah…), you send a signal to the guy behind you that you would like to be passed. You give him as much room as you can to make the pass, he does so, and your mom is free to open her eyes and enjoy the scenery.

And for the record, rearview mirrors have that little toggle on them to take the glare off of high beams. You might want to familiarize yourself with it.

12

I noticed someone doing this to someone Tuesday or Wednesday. I had someone do it to me yesterday, luckily I was able to get in another lane and let that idiot pass and wish a huge crash on him. Or at least some bad kharma.

13

I should have just slowed down and rode next to the car beside me for the next 10 miles. But I wasn’t in the mood for idiots.

14

I disagree with Casey1505 and others. The asshole was the tailgater with high-beams. Slowing down is the appropriate response.

Still not acceptable to tailgate.

15

I drive two very similar roads on a regular basis, usually at night. And I call BS on lucwarm’s assertion that “In a stretch of road a mile or longer, there’s ALWAYS a place to pull over, whether it’s a driveway, a side street, or a freaking patch of dirt.” Come on over and I’ll show you 6 miles of road where each side drops off into a ditch, there AREN’T any driveways because there are no houses and hence no streetlights, the numerous curves are almost 90 degrees, and everyone seems to drive those huge pickups with the extra-extra bright headlights (god help you when they turn on their highbeams). Even better are the logging trucks that take the roads at double the speed limit and are often driving in both lanes to do it.

I don’t necessarily agree with intentionally slowing down, but there have been many times when I’ve either had someone on my tail with super-bright lights, or had them come around the corner ahead of me and temporarily blind me (and I’d like to note that I wear prescription sunglasses to drive even at night for this very reason- I tried it ONCE with my regular glasses and swore never again). In those cases I’ve had no choice BUT to slow down- mostly because of the aforementioned ditches. I say if people have such little concern about others and the legality of driving two inches off of someone’s bumper, they should have less concern for the legality of passing in a no-passing-zone. Go the fuck around, moron.

Casey- you can toggle the rearview, but you can’t do a whole lot about your side mirrors or your glasses. If you’ve ever had someone that close to you, you should know that the side mirrors also pick up the light and reflect it right into your eyes.

16

Call 911 for tailgating?

17

Isn’t driving 20 MPH below the speed limit just as illegal as 20 MPH over it? Just wondering…

18

Wrongola. All you people bitching at Windwalker are WRONG. Having been through a large amount of driving classes in preparation ofr my license, I can assure you that any state trooper will tell you that that is EXACTLY what you should do. Unless the speed limit is 65 or over, there is no minimum speed. If tailgated, you should slow down.

19

I wish Badge was posting in this thread. It would be interesting to find out what someone in law-enforcement suggests.

Imho, the tailgater is always more in the wrong. Tailgating creates a dangerous situation where none existed. In this case, had the driver sped up a bit, does anyone believe the tailgater would have backed off?

Also, I find it hard to believe that the tailgater was unable to pass a car doing 20 mph, especially at night when you can see oncoming headlights.

There is no excuse for tailgating. Ever.

20

Oh really? So I suppose that if a car breaks down on that stretch of road, traffic is effectively stopped for a couple hours in one direction because there’s no way to get by? Gimme a break.

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Kindly identify this unique stretch of road.

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And the ditches track the 90 degree curves exactly?!? On both sides of the road? Bullsh*t.