I beat my kid to death because massa beat my ancestors.

[beagledave]

It’s like the anti-Bill Cosby belief system.

Meet Isaac Cortez Bynum.

A Portland lawyer says suffering by African Americans at the hands of slave owners is to blame in the death of a 2-year-old Beaverton boy.

Randall Vogt is offering the untested theory, called post traumatic slave syndrome, in his defense of Isaac Cortez Bynum, who is charged with murder by abuse in the June 30 death of his son, Ryshawn Lamar Bynum. Vogt says he will argue – “in a general way” – that masters beat slaves, so Bynum was justified in beating his son.

<snip>

DeGruy-Leary testified this month in Washington County Circuit Court that African Americans today are affected by past centuries of U.S. slavery because the original slaves were never treated for the trauma of losing their homes; seeing relatives whipped, raped and killed; and being subjugated by whites.

Hey kids…if you’re black, you can’t be held accountable for violent actions.

Thankfully, it appears that this theory ain’t got much chance of making the next DSM.

William E. Narrow, a psychiatrist who serves as associate director of research on the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, said he had never heard of post traumatic slave syndrome and no one has proposed that it be included in the book’s next edition.

<snip>

“To say that everybody in a particular racial or ethnic group has a diagnosis, I don’t think it falls under what we do,” Narrow said. “We have enough trouble as it is with people saying we are trying to make everybody mentally ill without trying to include something like that.”

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

Well, crikey! My ancesters suffered unimaginably as serfs on great lords’ estates, back in the old days. Does that mean I can beat my (hypothetical) kids with plowshares?

Time for :rolleyes: so hard my eyeballs rip loose from their moorings.

[Metacom]

It’s an original argument, certainly, but the underlying premise is nothing new: Really, really, guilty criminal can’t or won’t plea, forcing lawyer to get creative and come up with an absolutely batshit insane theory. If this guy gets off I’ll be shocked. I’ll also try to find some opressed ancestor–just in case.

[Casey1505]

Remember at the end of Rocky and Bullwinkle shorts, after the closing credits, you’d see a short little guy in a white suit pushing along a garbage can, shovel and broom?

I was waiting to see him at the end of the article.

[Chairman_Pow]

I hope they can post his reparation check to his cell block.

[Master_Wang-Ka]

To paraphrase Richard Pryor, “That lawya’s crazy.”

[Mehitabel]

I obviously missed the great wave of Holocaust survivors who abused their kids so horrifically in the 50s and 60s. Guess it was all hushed up.

[MEBuckner]

No, no, no, Mehitabel, it’s still too early. It’s those great-great-great-grandchildren of Holocaust survivors we’ll have to watch out for.

[Neidhart]

Hey, my great-great-grandparents nearly starved to death in the Irish Famine! I guess that means I get a free pass, too.

[Clothahump]

@beagledave

It’s like the anti-Bill Cosby belief system.

Meet Isaac Cortez Bynum.

My family traces back to a guy who came over on the run from British oppression.

When does my check arrive?

[Coldfire]

Well, I’m Dutch, so my ancestors pretty much all were slave transporting, colony looting bastards.

Sometimes I get these urges, you know? I just feel this need to sail a boat to Batavia, beat the shit out of some Indonesians, steal their spices, and sail to West Africa to pick up some slaves. Then I want to cross the pond, to unload the slaves in the New World, and load up on 'taters to bring back home to Amsterdam.

What do you mean, unethical? It’s in my roots, you judgmental bastards. One more slur like that, and you’ll be talking to my lawyer, I.M. Fullofshite, Esq.

[Liberal]

This must explain why I don’t like walking.

[swampbear]

@Neidhart

Hey, my great-great-grandparents nearly starved to death in the Irish Famine! I guess that means I get a free pass, too.

Only if you beat your kids with potatoes.

[Jonathan_Chance]

But what about me???

In my background (and relatively recently) I have african slaves, cherokee, jews AND northern European.

Does the inherent conflict in my background justify anything?

[beagledave]

@Jonathan Chance

But what about me???

In my background (and relatively recently) I have african slaves, cherokee, jews AND northern European.

Does the inherent conflict in my background justify anything?

self mutilation, obviously.

Jeez do I need to connect ALL of the dots for you people?

[Eva_Luna]

@Coldfire

Sometimes I get these urges, you know? I just feel this need to sail a boat to Batavia, beat the shit out of some Indonesians, steal their spices, and sail to West Africa to pick up some slaves.

Well, as much as we ChiDopers would love for you to visit our fine state, the residents of Batavia might be a bit befuddled – I don’t think there are too many Indonesians in that neck of the woods. Plus we’d hate to have to bail you out of jail.

http://www.cityofbatavia.net/

And it’s really not on the way to West Africa from the Netherlands; methinks you need to patronize the competition and get yourself one of those newfangled Portuguese maps. You Yurpeans, always getting lost and running into the wrong continent…

[Coldfire]

I’m not talking about that rip-off Anglo Batavia, woman. I speak of the real thing, the proper Dutch city of Batavia. Although the locals insist on calling it Jakarta for some reason.

[Jurph]

@Jonathan Chance

But what about me???

In my background (and relatively recently) I have african slaves, cherokee, jews AND northern European.

Does the inherent conflict in my background justify anything?

I see you in a courtroom in the near future, defending against charges that you tried to commit suicide after building[sup]4[/sup] a house on land that originally belonged to you[sup]2[/sup], refusing to pay[sup]4[/sup] yourself[sup]1[/sup] for cleaning said house, choosing instead to keep yourself[sup]1[/sup] as a slave, becoming a despondent alcoholic when you[sup]4[/sup] gave your[sup]2[/sup] family smallpox on blankets meant to keep them warm for the winter, and finally deciding to end it all by sticking[sup]4[/sup] your[sup]3[/sup] head in an oven. The prosecution is baffled by the suicide note that reads “Arbeit Macht Frei - gone to take a shower, back soon to rule the mother/fatherland.”

(footnotes: 1, 2, 3, and 4 are the identities listed above, respectively)

[Frank]

@Coldfire

I’m not talking about that rip-off Anglo Batavia, woman. I speak of the real thing, the proper Dutch city of Batavia. Although the locals insist on calling it Jakarta for some reason.

Doubly make sure you don’t get lost, as Batavia, Ill. is in a region of this fair country that has never even heard of spices.

[Jenaroph]

My Tory ancestors were run out of town after the Revolutionary War. This must be why I keep setting fire to the homes of people who support the current administration. Oh wait, I don’t do that.