ASK THE DRUNK DUTCH DUDE!
Fire at will, my friends 
:rolleyes:
Well, go find some drunk Dutch dame, knock her up, and set the timer for 9 months.
Mr. Drunken Dutch Guy, what’s the stupidest thing (or person) you’ve done while under the influence?
Oh, what have I done now? They’ll never let me live this down! Especially with my impeccable reputation as a sober, churchgoing poster and all.
I’ve got a Dutch dame, but she’s in London, quite sober, and not being knocked up. I hope 
FreezerBurn, will you eat me?
Do you ever get splinters in your feet from the klompen?
Have you ever saved Amsterdam by plugging a dike with your finger?
Just what the hell do you do with all those tulips?
Can you send me a poster from the Torture Museum?
Do you like Amstel Light? And is there a plain Amstel? What’s your view on legal marijuana? Have you ever felched a dyke?
Stupidest thing while drunk: climb a 15 meter pile of bricks to piss from. The act itself was succesful, but the tumble down was rather unpleasant.
Eating Shayna: are you a refridgerator? If so, are you currently bleeding?
Klompen (wooden shoes) are worn with socks. No splinters.
I’ve never saved Amsterdam, but I’ve heard it has saved many an American virgin
We sell the tulips to Japan or put them in the Keukenhof.
The Torture Museum is in London, you putz. We have the Sex Museum. Uhm, or so I’m told.
What is your blood alchohol at this moment you drunk dutch bastard?
I’ve heard prostitution and mary-jew-anna is legal in your country. Is this true? I’ve also heard that a guilder is at a ratio of approximately 2.3 guilder to 1 dollar. I’ve also heard a rumor that this changes daily. Can you confirm? 
What’s the deal with Rush anyway?
Shayna, I want to eat you… Where do I get in line? 
No and No.
And this is not the “Ask The Busty Redhead” thread so you are not allowed to ask me questions back. You must answer mine and I’m patiently, no, anxiously awaiting your reply.
Amstel Light is like any light beer: it sucks gerbil scrote.
Amstel Lager is OK, if nothing else is available. Grolsch is my Dutch lager of choice.
My blood alcohol percentage or whatever is still OK. It’s legal for me to drive, I’m sure. But I’m NOT gonna try! My insurance is high enough as it is
Prostitution and hash are legal here. Well, condoned. Long story, legally. Point being: light’em up and have at’em
Rush is Canadian. How the hell should I know??
Sailor, stop flirting in the Dutch Guy’s thread. Chiefscott is looking to “fill a vacancy”, or so I’ve heard
Sexmuseum Venustempel
18 Damrak.
Mon-Sun 10-23.30 hrs
Torture Museum
20-22 Damrak.
Mon-Sun 10-23 hrs.
Fittingly, the sex and torture museums appear to be right next door to each other. You gotta get out more often, my friend.
Here’s photos:
http://www.tattoos.com/stu/amstort/tortga01.htm
http://www.stukay.com/amstort/tortga02.htm
Holy shit. UncleBeer is correcting me on Amsterdam Tourist Info? That’s it. I’m gonna rat on him and tell y’all that he DOES own that roadside brothel in ButtFuck, Ohio
Here’s a question that, depending on the answer, may dramatically increase the number of posters making their vacation plans for Holland:
When I was there, I was struck by the fact that every waitress was a tall, gorgeous, model-beautiful woman. All of them! If I had been a man I would have been in heaven (and the men weren’t bad either). Is this normal? Is there some kind of Gorgeous Women’s Union to which all waitresses must belong? And everyone I met, women and men, was at least quatrilingual - Dutch, French, English, and another one - Spanish, Italian, or German. Is this just how it is? You obviously speak at least two beautifully. What others do you speak?
I guess that makes three questions.
OK, I’m off to bed now. Tomorrow, I’ll answer all your questions. Sober, even. Or I could pretend I’m still drunk. With the coffee machine WE have at work, what’s the difference?
Anyway, ask away. We’re fighting ignorance here!
I’m sorry, sailor, but you cannot eat me. You’ve already emailed me. It’s either one or the other, but not both. Did I neglect to mention that before? Sorry for any confusion this may have caused. I do appreciate the offer, however.