Why does the sex museum in Amsterdam suck so much? Especially when compared to the Copenhagen one…
OK, last one.
Dutch women are, without me being too patriotic, very beautiful. That is, when one HAS to generalize (and what other option do we have eh?). Waitresses are wimmen. Hence: yeah, it’s true.
I’d say most Dutch people speak Dutch and English. English will get you around the entire country - 90% speaks it, I’d say. I speak Dutch, English, French and German myself, but I’d say on the whole, the average Dutchman speaks Dutch, English and a little German. Let’s not exagerate it, but history (read: our need to “explore”) has made us adaptive.
Just two questions, actually. Does your military have holidays off? And if so, would the dutch people be adverse to becoming slaves of the Galactic Muffin Council?
Do you always make your dates pay for their own meal?
I’m given to understand that the Dutch word for “Dutch treat” translates as “American party”.
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Given the admirable linguistic abilities of the Dutch, what approximate percentage would be able to use the phrase, “it sucks gerbil scrote” correctly?
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Are Dutch school children required to read Hans Brinker and the Silver Skates? If not, why not? Have you personally skated across Amsterdam in wooden skates (klompengliders??).
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What’s with the tulip thing? Why not, say, pansies or hydrangeas or hollyhocks?
Veb
Shayna, dear, I’ve never emailed you so the possiblities are wide open. I’ll even bring a spoon if you want to make it a threesome.
What is the proper serving temperature for Grolsch? I like the bottle with the ceramic “cork”, but every time I’ve had the stuff, it’s bitter!
I suspect that the temperatures Americans serve beer are too low for it. An English expatriate friend recently pointed out to me that Guiness is best served at about 55°, rather than the 40° or less most American brews are served at. Of course, if it ever gets to 110° in the shade in Amsterdam, I suppose people would be asking for colder drinks.
~~Baloo
Why are you called Dutch when you come from the Netherlands? Shouldn’t you be called a Nether? Why don’t you change the name of the country to Dutchland, or Dutchplace, or Drink-booze-with-us-crazy-Dutch-people?
And is Dutch beer worse than Canadian beer? Is it even possible to have worse beer than Canadian beer?
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Why does belgium suck?
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Are you all really obsessed with porn?
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Why the hell are Kraftwerk popular? (I know they’re German, but you’re all the same on the Mainland
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Is ChiefScott getting desparate for a lady or what?
How’s the head this fine morning ?
OK, one by one. Easy now.
dpr: Why does the sex museum in Amsterdam suck so much? Especially when compared to the Copenhagen one…
Beats me, I’ve never made the comparison. The Sex Museum in A’dam is kind of lame, I’ll give you that. But two streets down, you can buy the real thing for 75 Guilders
FreakFreely: Does your military have holidays off? And if so, would the dutch people be adverse to becoming slaves of the Galactic Muffin Council?
No and yes.
Diane: Do you always make your dates pay for their own meal?
Not me, m’dear. I’ll pay for the Coke, the cheeseburger, the fries AND I’ll throw in a strawberry shake! So there!
matt_mcl: I’m given to understand that the Dutch word for “Dutch treat” translates as “American party”.
This is very true, young man. I wonder who told you this 
**Vebbie, always the showoff, has three. Well, even more, but she says it’s three.
- Given the admirable linguistic abilities of the Dutch, what approximate percentage would be able to use the phrase, “it sucks gerbil scrote” correctly?**
Quite possibly, just me. That would make the percentage some 4.444444444444e-17%
2. Are Dutch school children required to read Hans Brinker and the Silver Skates?
I honestly don’t know - I know I read it when I was about 8 or 9.
If not, why not?
I don’t know!! Will you get off my back already about this Hansje Brinker shit??
Have you personally skated across Amsterdam in wooden skates (klompengliders??).
Well, I skated through the canals on hockey skates a few years back, so I suppose that counts.
3. What’s with the tulip thing? Why not, say, pansies or hydrangeas or hollyhocks?
Don’t call me a pansie And again: I don’t really know. All I know is that Tulips are NOT Dutch by origin, but became knows as “Dutch” because we traded them. They’re from Turkey, origingally. “Tulips from Istanbul…”, hmmm, doesn’t sound the same eh?
I guess it’s fair to say they’re the most widely traded Dutch Flower. From Turkey.
Baloo: What is the proper serving temperature for Grolsch? I like the bottle with the ceramic “cork”, but every time I’ve had the stuff, it’s bitter!
It should be served at about 7 degrees Celcius. You do the math. And it’s bitter because you’re probably drinking the export version (green bottle). That one’s adapted to American taste buds, and hence tastes like crap. You need the original version, in the brown (yet identical) bottle.
Monster104: Why are you called Dutch when you come from the Netherlands? Shouldn’t you be called a Nether?
Why don’t you change the name of the country to Dutchland, or Dutchplace, or Drink-booze-with-us-crazy-Dutch-people?
Let me start off by saying I like the last suggestion. “Dutch” is more or less a phonetic English version of the middle-Dutch word “Duitsch” (or “Duytsch”, “Duijtsch”), which means “of the people”, or “common”. The first line of our national anthem, the Wilhelmus, goes like this:
“Wilhelmus van Nassouwe, Ben ick van Duytschen Bloedt”.
It translates to “William of Nassau, am I of common blood”. So, our first king was of common blood
I suspect more than 60% of all Dutch people don’t know this meaning and actually think it means the same as “Duits” which is the modern Dutch word for… German. How ironic, eh?
And is Dutch beer worse than Canadian beer? Is it even possible to have worse beer than Canadian beer?
Dutch beer is, IMHO second to only Belgian and German beers. OK, and some Irish beers. And I’d say American beer on the whole is FAR inferior to Canuck beer
**JohnLarrigan’s there as well. Of course.
- Why does belgium suck?**
Ask a Belgian, you stupid Brit
2. Are you all really obsessed with porn?
No, we prefer going to church and working the fields all day. Seriously: I woulnd’t say we’re obsessed about it. But that’s mostly because it’s there.
3. Why the hell are Kraftwerk popular? (I know they’re German, but you’re all the same on the Mainland)
Are they? Not over here they’re not. I suppose Paddy Land is stuck in the 80’s or something?
4. Is ChiefScott getting desparate for a lady or what?
Sheesh, yeah! And he has picked the most Muslim of all harbours for his shore leave. I think his next post will be from a prison cell, “Midnight Express” style.
Yoyimbo: How’s the head this fine morning ?
Not too bad - but I am a bit sleepy.
NEXT!
everyone hates Kraftwerk.
as for chiefScott, who gets to go over to visit him and do the “Billy, I’m here for you Billy” nipple-against-the-glass" routine
I think you just volunteered, John.
Drunk Dutch Dude:
What’s in your coffee machine at work and how can I get some?
As an American, I feel I must defend the US beer industry. That is, the good US beer industry. I’m one of those Americans who actually know what good beer tastes like. I can tolerate Coors and Budweiser and all that other crap, but it’s not exactly enjoyable. However, there are a lot of American microbreweries that know how to make good beer. There are a few good tasting widely distributed beers too (Sam Adams, Killians), but I’m used to the European beers…there’s a bar in my town that has 52 beers on tap, all foreign and good Amer. microbrews. Not a single piss beer in the bunch. Unfortunately, I haven’t had the opportunity to taste original Grolsch.
Jman
My grandfather, who married one of those lovely lasses from the Netherlands, always took great delight in referring to her homeland as the Nether regions. Lends a whole new twist to it, doesn’t it?
Trion: Drunk Dutch Dude: What’s in your coffee machine at work and how can I get some?
Coffee. I believe it’s available throughout the world
The OP was posted last night, at home, after a bottle of red wine.
Jman:
I realise there are some good American beers, just as I realise that there probably must be some Germans with humour and some sober Irishmen. I just like making sweeping generalisations
KimKatt: My grandfather, who married one of those lovely lasses from the Netherlands, always took great delight in referring to her homeland as the Nether regions. Lends a whole new twist to it, doesn’t it?
It does. In addition, Belgium and The Netherlands combined are known as de Lage Landen*, which means “the Low Lands”. This is reflected in one of the two French names for my country: Les Pays Bas.
It dates back to the time when the majority of Belgium (now Flanders, roughly) was part of the Netherlands. Belgium became independent in 1830, and has not been a country ever since
In the utter north-west of France, a few small towns still speak Dutch. The language border used to be right up till there, and the political border hasn’t changed that entirely. Older people (say, over 65) will probably understand all Dutch and speak some. They are reinstating the tradition and are teaching Dutch in the schools again. The most known town in that region is called Duinkerken (or, in French, Dunquerque).
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Roughly what %age of Dutch smoke weed ?
Do you eat those amazing croqetes(sp?) much ?
Is it true that Holland has the lowest teenage pregnancy rate in Europe .
And your so right about green v’s brown bottles of Grolsch . We get both of them here and there’s a big differance . So I’m told , myself being one of the huge amounts of tee-totalers in my country
The average American beer is far inferior to gerbil wee wee.
disclaimer: I did say average. I don’t want to hear any crap about the beer your neighbor makes in his basement - I’m sure it’s wonderful. In addition, I have been unable, thus far, to try every beer from every microbrewery in America - I’m sure some of those are pretty good, too. None of them will EVER hold up to Guinness.
Coldy - If someone were planning a trip to Amsterdam, what would you recommend that someone MUST see? Any hints on how not to seem like a stupid American tourist?