Muddy Boots Near Dayton

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Since the weather was so super-fabulous, I thought it would be fun to go hiking this past weekend. I was right, it was fun. It was so much fun you should have been there. If you did show up, that would have been good. That way you could have remembered the bug spray and could have covered for me. If you were really on the ball, you could have brought me a candy bar too. I was hankerin’ a Milky Way for a while there.

You know that old saying: Getting there is half the fun? Whoever thought that one up should have been smacked with a shovel a couple times. Getting there was definitely NOT “half the fun”. I blame Miamisburg. See, the directions to Germantown MetroPark from my house are ridiculously simple. Three roads to remember: I-75 to OH 725 west to Boomershine (I am not making that road name up). How hard is that to remember? It’s not hard at all. It’s veritably the definition of cinchy. Only Miamisburg wouldn’t get with the program. They decided it would be funny to block off part of 725 and have an Old Car Cruise In dealy. Oh yeah, they marked the detour SOOOOO well. I think they propped most of the signs up against old coffee cans full of rocks. One of the detour signs was leaning against a sleeping dog. At least I think it was a dog. And I hope it was only sleeping. But when I went zinging out of ol’ (Historic) Miamisburg, I was on a road that was not 725. Was there a sign telling me just what road I was on? Ha! I scoff at you for even suggesting such a thing. (Scoff! Scoff!) But just before I hit the Arkansas border I realized I wasn’t where I wanted to be. I wasn’t where anyone wanted to be. So I turned around and headed back to Miamisburg. There I saw a regular OH 725 sign, so I followed that. Eventually I made my way to Boomershine which was where they keep the park entrance. Now all I had to do was find the Nature Center. It was easy because they had this giant sign that said “Nature Center” and had an arrow. The sign was like seven feet tall. Right behind a screen of six anna half foot tall “wildflowers”. The took a page right outta ol’ (Historic) Miamisburg’s playbook there. But finally I made it to the Nature Center and commenced my Hiking Adventure.

Just let me say now: I did not fall down once and I really wasn’t that lost at all. Stick was there with me to keep me from falling down, oh, about half a dozen times. They had all kinds of maps at the Nature Center to keep me from getting lost. Also the trails were well marked and, like, eight feet wide. Getting lost would really take some work. Not that I knew exactly where I was at all times. (This is why the Little Woman hates to hike with me. She asks “Where are we?” and I say “Around here somewhere” and just sorta wave at the map. That’s not good enough for her. But does she learn how to read a map? Scoff! Scoff!) But the not knowing exactly where I was wasn’t my fault! It was right at the beginning of the hike and I was still looking at the map and plotting my route. (Follow the Orange Trail all the way around the park.) The trail jinked to the left, but it looked like it could have gone straight. So I went straight. After not falling all the way down a rather steep hill I found the trail again. Great big posts with an orange circle on them. Easy-peasy to find my way. But as it turned out I really wanted to go around clockwise after all. No matter how long I looked at the Big Map at the Nature Center orienting myself to take the trip around counterclockwise. (Or “anti-clockwards” or “widdershins” or “the other way”.)

Throughout the hike, whenever two trails would meet, it was marked with it’s own trail post. The meeting points were marked with letters. That way you could look on you map and know you were going the wrong way and find out just where you were. Like I was expecting to find point “D” next, but really I wound up at point “I” and this told me:

  1. I wasn’t near where I thought I was.
    and
    B. Which way I was actually going.
    This was a very handy feature of the trail system. But there was a Merry Prankster around when they made out the map. At point “P” on the map where the Orange Trail and the Pink Trail meet there is a potty. An outhouse, really. At point “P”! An outhouse! Get it? Oh man, someone was cracking themself up when they decided to skip point “O” and go straight to point “P”.

On the way home, my pal of a town (Historic) Miamisburg was still at it with the detours. But I was hip to them this time and ready. I didn’t stay lost near as long this time, so I could be home in time for dinner.

Running through Miamisburg, just off the highway, there’s an establishment. You can see their sign a ways down the road, but not the front of the building. The sign by the road says simply “Cheeks”. You have to get closer to see just what type of establishment “Cheeks” is. Guess what “Cheeks” is. I won’t be giving you any clues.
-Rue.

2

Hiking can be embarassing.

I got invited on what I was told was a hiking trip once, but the only hard information I received was that it was going to be a day trip. No overnights. I said to myself, “Ex, this is gonna’ be easy. You won’t even need a pack.” So I got out all my hiking around the woods stuff and pared down the kit. I kept the stout shoes, big knife, little knife, compass, canteen, beef jerky, fiberglass stick and hat. I decided against the axe and rope.

Turns out, we were supposed to be going to one of those nature park things for a nice walk on groomed,gravelled trails, whereas I was all kitted out for an Expedition. I felt like a complete dork.

I’m not guessing what “Cheeks” is, because I have enough embarassment as it is.

3

Cheeks is either a strip joint where all the strippers are sarcastic or a local joint that sells burgers and pizza. There. That’s my guess.

There is (maybe was cause for all I know it ain’t there anymore) a car dealership in Etlanner called Boomershine. I think they sell (sold) Pontiacs. It’s a funny name. Sounds like a bunch of 40-50 something year olds runnin’ 'shine.

Rue are you directionally challenged? I mean like do you need signs all over your house to tell you what room you’re trying to go to, like from bedroom to kitchen to the living room to wherever it is you keep your puter? I’m asking cause I’d hate it if you got really lost one Monday and we didn’t get a MMP because of that.

Miaimisburg sounds like Unadilla, GA. They got this state road through Unadilla that disappears for about a half mile then mysteriously appears again going in the opposite direction it started out. There is a “clothing optional” campground for gay folks several miles down the road once it mysteriously appears in the opposite direction again. Not that I have any personal experience with it or anything. I… umm… err… saw a sign for it… yeah that’s it. A sign. Never been there, just saw a sign.

Did you see the platform where they throw roadkill to the vultures? I eagerly opened the MMP to read all about vultures and roadkill and nuttin. That was disappointing. So did ya see it? Huh? Huh? Did you see vultures eat roadkill? I think it would be cool if there were a stand there where tourists could purchase roadkill to feed the vultures. Kinda like how you can buy little bags of goat chow at the local zoo to feed the baby goats in the petting zoo. That’d be fun

-swampbear (I really wanna know about vultures and roadkill)

4

Why can’t vultures eat roadkill of the road like everybody else? Do they think the’re better than crows or something?

5

I’m not much of a hiker. I did climb Stone Mountain once, but it was a long time ago. Maybe you shoulda hired a Sherpa to navigate for you, Rue.

I’m guessing that “Cheeks” is an adult entertainment venue. :wink:

6

I’m not much of a hiker either unless you count the four miles I do daily on my treadmill. Not much scenery there to be “scene” in my garage, though.

But speaking of stone, Mr. Anachi ripped out the carpeting in our dining room this weekend and sent me to see my bro-in-law about new flooring for there and for the kitchen, breakfast nook, hallway, utility room and front entryway. Now being as I have champaigne taste, I of course picked out a gorgeous stone flooring from Turkey. That’ll teach Mr. Anachi not to send me to pick out interior decor stuff by myself. Now all I have to do is figure out how to finance it. Guess there goes my facelift for another five years.

I think Cheeks is probably a restaurant sorta like Hooters but where the servers all have incredible booties.

7

Speaking of booties, the other day I was at Border’s buying a book and I always look at their greeting cards (they have great ones), I saw a “brag book” for baby photos with a pink and a blue baby shoe on the front and it said

“ITS BOOTY TIME!”

8

If it’s any consolation, I get lost on 725 through Miamisburg when there aren’t detour signs.

I take Route 4 from Middletown to Germantown to get to the park, though. It’s a little more straightforward for me. I’ve never heard of Boomershine, but that name doesn’t surprise me. I giggle every time I cross Keister Road.

9

I don’t feel I’m “directionally challenged” as more of a “big picture” kinda guy. I was alright when I was on 725, but when Miamisburg decided 725 should go:
this way —>
then that way <—
then zoom around the corner
then jink back
why, it was just confusing. Going the wrong way 'round the trail wasn’t my fault either. I’m not too sure exactly whose fault it was, but I’m innocent of any faultfulness.

And I didn’t happen to find the Roadkill Tower. This will give me a good reason to go back sometime. Now that I know how to get where I’m going, of course I’m going back. As sad as it was that I didn’t see the Tower, I did find Free Berries. I felt like a real Mountain Man, living off the land. Although I still wanted a Milky Way. There was a bunch of black raspberries bushes and I ate a few raspberries. Then, later on, there was a mulberry tree and I ate a few mulberries. There were also red cedar trees, but you don’t eat them. This pretty much exhausted my plant identification skills. I could have pointed out a dandelion if I saw one and I know how to tell if a tree is sassafrass, but neither of these skills were called for this time out.

Poor Ex. All overdressed. I had on my hat, hiking boots and my daypack (because it’s a “hydration pack” and there’s nothing like a sip of cool, refreshing water straight from the nipple) plus Stick and my compass (the compass wasn’t as usefull as you’d expect), some snacks, my little (but not littlest) knife, and my binoculars (in case there was something that needed looking at). There was a group of three other people who were more dressed than me. (I had shorts, they had long pants.) They were like training for an outing or something. They all had two walking sticks, all metal and collapsible, (not like Stick who’s made out of applewood) and their daypacks. They were really moving along the trail. There were other people too. Some were looking at birds (“Look! A bird!” How exciting.), or just strolling around.

“Cheeks” is not a burger joint, nor a pizza parlor. “Hooters” is close, but somewhat different in their dresscode, and probably the menu.

10

So where were you Kaitlin? Why didn’t you show up? I would have waited for you. (And “Well, you didn’t invite me and I didn’t know you were going anyway,” is NOT a good excuse. I was talking about this in last week’s MMP and you should have said something.)

Next time… next time.

11

Well, geez, Rue I thought the whole point of your little excursion was to see the vulture tower. I was really looking forward to reading all about vultures circling the tower and the kinds of roadkill they had to eat and all. Sigh Now my day is ruined. Ruined I say!

earthpuppy I never climbed Stone Mountain but I once walked down it instead of taking the little incline thingy back down. I took the incline thingy up it though. I got up there and said, look I’m on top of a big granite rock. Then went back down.

Tupug Turkish* stone? What? Good ol’ Amurkin not good enough for ya? :smiley:

Ex vultures are special. They’re also snobs. They wouldn’t be caught dead eating the same roadkill other roadkill eaters eat. They have to have their own, just special for them, roadkill. That’s why they get their own tower. Which Rue didn’t bother to go look at so he could tell us all about how neat it is.

-swampbear (maybe I could put up a roadkill tower in my backyard to attract vultures)

12

I haven’t been hiking in a long time. It’s because I’m allergic to Nature. Inside has fewer bugs.

We’re planning on climbing the Toronto Bluffs sometime this summer, though. When they’re nice and dry, so we don’t get stuck in any mudslides. Mudslides are only fun if they’re the alcoholic kind.

13

Drunken mudslides? Lissla just what kind of place is it where you live? :eek:

14

I think “Cheeks” would be a great name for the clothing optional gay campground that allegedly exists but no one’s ever been to. :stuck_out_tongue:

I was going to join a group of friends on some “hikes” this summer, but as Ex pointed out, you don’t always know what that entails. When they started talking about how it was possible to die out there, well, I decided I’d stick to groomed trails within city limits, thankyouverymuch. :eek:

15

earthpuppy, I love the Border’s cards! I was there on Saturday to buy a cookbook for a 19-year-old bride who’s cooking expertise is limited to which microwave button to push. Call me an old-fashioned Pollyanna!

Swampy, I dunno…the stone I liked was from Turkey and it was on sale but if you think I should, I’ll go back and demand some Amurikin stone. :wink:

Rue, so if Cheeks sorta resembles Hooters except for server uniforms and menu, does that mean that instead of wings, you order smoked butt??? :smiley:

16

I was checking out an apartment I can barely afford! (Seems I really am trying to get out of Middletown at all costs.)

If I do move, hiking will become the only viable form of entertainment for me, though! And cheap beer.

17

I need a pair of those pants that you can change into shorts by zipping the legs off.

18

Now scout I didn’t say the campground didn’t exist, I just said I’ve never been there. I saw a sign. Yeah, a sign. I didn’t go there with somebody for a weekend last month. That’s just a nasty, vicious rumor. You may have heard that I’m going there the weekend after my birthday. Again, that is a nasty, vicious rumor. I don’t know who would start such a rumor or why, but rest assured it is a nasty, vicious rumor. I just saw a sign, yeah, that’s it, a sign. That’s the only reason I know it exists. Really. Oh and it’s called Lumberjack Campground. It was on the sign I saw, yeah, the sign I saw said that.

Tupug just how do you know that stone is Turkish? Does it have like a passport or something to prove it? :dubious:

19

Gosh, if I saw a place named Cheeks, I’d immediately think of a place with well-scrubbed young people with rosy apple cheeks, made especially sweet by the dimples formed by their ever-present grins. They’d serve pie, and little old ladies would be forever pinching their cheeks.

I had a busy weekend, but I didn’t do anything worth writing about–errands and housework, not even reading a good book. I did some cool aunt shopping and got my haircut.

That’s it. I’m thinking this may be my week to be boring. Later, I’ll post about the letters I have to get written here at work. Please contain your enthusiasm.

20

Ex my son has some of those convertible shorts/pants dealies. Do they make 'em for grown-up boys too? How tweet!