"I claim this soft drink beverage in the name of Spain." *plants flag*

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

An honest mistake, sure, but I still can’t believe I did this. :smack:

Mrs. Chastain and I, in our first foray outside the home since the birth of IttyBittyChastain, decide to go see “Spider Man 2” on Sunday.

We arrive at the theater about 10 minutes before the start of the movie. The theater was fairly packed, as it was a 3:20 matinee, and we take a seat next to a young mom and her 5 year-old little girl.

I smile as we sit down. She’s a fairly attractive Hispanic girl, and her little girl is cute and well-behaved, so I’ve no qualms about taking the last two seats on the row.

The previews begin. I reach to my right and grip the hand of my wife. She turns to me and smiles. It’s our first “date night,” and even though it’s 3:00pm on a Sunday, it feels good to spend time with her that doesn’t involve bottles or diapers or formula.

Halfway through the preview for “I, Robot,” I reach over and take a drink of soda. Two gulps, then put it down. I reach for a handful of popcorn when I realize, for the first time, the phone calls are coming from inside the house! INSIDE THE HOUSE!

Actually, it’s worse. Because seconds later, I realize it’s Coca-Cola. And I distinctly remember buying a Sprite.

Some of you already know where I’m headed with this story.

The cold, dreadful horror grips me as I realize I’ve just taken two drinks from this strange woman’s soda. :eek:

I look over at her, expecting the worst possible reaction. An angry look, a dismissive gesture, or at very least a “Dude! WTF?” Fortunately, she’s been attending to her daughter the whole time.

To punish myself, I put my own soda between my legs and hold it for the entirety of the movie as a reminder of which soda was mine. Frozen peas are a small price to pay to not have that happen again.

So to the woman I didn’t meet, but swiped the soda of, I offer my heartfelt apologies. I hope one day you can forgive me my trespass, and I hope I didn’t inadvertantly pass you some bizarre lip creepiness in the process. Not that I have any. Just…hoping for the best.

I. Am. A tard. :smack:

On the lighter side, Mrs. Chastain has been laughing non-stop about this for the past three days, so maybe my discomfort has brought forth some good into the world. :rolleyes:

2

Don’t feel bad, Douglas Adams once recounted a much worse story on Letterman. He was sitting at a table in a trainstation, when a gentleman sat down opposite Mr. Adams. Adams decided that he wanted to eat some of the cookies that he’d bought, so he opened the package in front of him and began eating. Much to his surprise, the man opposite him immediately reached down and ate one of the cookies as well. This continued until the cookies were all gone. The man got up and left, leaving Adams totally flabbergasted. Until he got up, and looked under his newspaper, there was his package of cookies! He’d been eating the stranger’s cookies the entire time! :eek:

3

Hope you got your cooties shot.

4

The Adams story (which he also used in one of his books) is possibly an urban legend.

5

When Adams introduced the story on Letterman he stated that he was glad that he finally got to include it in the book (one of the Dirk Gently’s IIRC), because it happened to him, but had been attributed to any number of people. Of course, given Adams sense of humor, he could have been pulling everybody’s leg. (Certainly hope so!)

6

I originally heard this story in church as a kid, my Pastor used it as an example in the sermon.

Then a year or so ago, a girl who had grown up with me and is currently a film student got an opportunity to make one of those Coca-Cola shorts you see in the theatres, and that was the story she was going to portray. Unfortunately her proposal was beat out and she never got the chance to make it.

7

Well, just don’t do it again. Because then you would be a –

Nnnno, I just can’t do it. It’s too perilous!

8

It was So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish, actually. Arthur related the story to Fenchurch.

I just want to know how I could have possibly missed DNA on Letterman! :frowning:

9

This has nothing to do with anything, but that is one of my favorite Kids in the Hall quotes.

10

LMAO. Great story, thanks for sharing! I get the feeling I’m going to do the exact same thing one of these days. :slight_smile:

11

Ick. One more reason I do not sit by people in movie theaters. If it’s that crowded, I’ll wait for DVD.

12

It could have been worse. The little girl could have inadvertantly fell for the “Dick in the Popcorn” trick you were going to try out on the wife. :wink:

13

Popcorn? Didn’y you by a Snickers bar?

14

Popcorn? Didn’t you buy a Snickers bar?

15

It’s not a bad Firesign quite either. :smiley:

16

I wouldn’t know LOL the only taste of Firesign I’ve had was that bit you guys played on the way to NYC and let’s just say it “didn’t do it for me”. Heh.

17

I don’t know about the strange lady, but I wouldn’t be nearly as creeped out by you sipping my soda as I’d be about you sipping your own soda as it sat snugly ensconced between your thighs.