The Straight Dope

Go Back   Straight Dope Message Board > Main > The BBQ Pit

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 10-27-2004, 08:27 AM
Shirley Ujest Shirley Ujest is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 1999
Friends don't let friends wear ponchos (very short and petty)

I cannot wait until this resurgence of ponchos ends. I have seen too many women wear a poncho that were either too old, too frumpy or just not exactly teenagerish in shape and age to pull off this supposed fashion.


Ponchos look cute on elementary and high school girls. Not chubby to semi-truck assed sized housewives. In fact, it accentuates your big butt by drawing attention to the flabbius maximus with the dangling tassles and makes one look like a walking shapeless jabba the hut afghan.


When will this insanity end?
Reply With Quote
Advertisements  
  #2  
Old 10-27-2004, 08:34 AM
Ephemera Ephemera is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
I've not seen the first woman wearing a poncho in normal every day life.

One advantage of being an anti-social recluse is that the only fashion faux pas you have to bear witness to are your own.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 10-27-2004, 09:07 AM
Frank Frank is online now
Charter Member
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Kettering, Ohio
Posts: 17,809
Is that a Mexican poncho or is that a Sears poncho?
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 10-27-2004, 09:24 AM
Maus Magill Maus Magill is offline
Not a real doctor.
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Nolensville, TN
Posts: 6,239
But what if it's raining?
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 10-27-2004, 09:28 AM
SkipMagic SkipMagic is offline
Twee Varmint
Moderator
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: Up The Wrong Twee
Posts: 6,770
I wore a Pancho for years before he finally asked me to put him down.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 10-27-2004, 09:39 AM
AncientHumanoid AncientHumanoid is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
How tall was he?






{I wear a rain slicker pancho when installing windows during slightly inclement weather. I pay him in pesos.}
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 10-27-2004, 09:41 AM
AncientHumanoid AncientHumanoid is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Huh, the joke may be on me. I thought the OP pancho was short, but maybe Shirl was referring to the rant?
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 10-27-2004, 12:17 PM
Shirley Ujest Shirley Ujest is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 1999
Quote:
Originally Posted by This Year's Model
Is that a Mexican poncho or is that a Sears poncho?

Sears poncho or a granny afghan with a hole in the middle of it poncho.

Wearing Pancho, on the other hand, if he is a handsome one, might not be a bad thing.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 10-27-2004, 12:35 PM
UrbanChic UrbanChic is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Did you start the dog show thread, too? If so, Shirley, you're like my new bestest friend and all.

I'll never understand why some people just won't accept they do not have the figure for some things. Less than 1.0912345 percent of the population can wear a poncho and look good.

My husband and I have a theory. We believe these women have friends who tell them they look good so that when they go out together the friend who's usually dressed appropriately looks better in comparison.

Chunky girl: Cindra, what do you think about this outfit? (spins, revealing a tight, midriff-baring top and low-cut jeans so tight her middle looks like she swallowed a tire)
Evil friend: Girl, you look good.
Chunk girl: Are you sure because I think these jeans may be a little, you know, tight. Are you sure they don't make my ass look too fat?
Evil friend: Oh my god, no! When we go to the party, the guys are going to be all over you, girl.
Chunky girl squeals with delight, thanks her friend, dons a poncho and the duo heads out into the night.

Our other theory, if the inappropriately dressed person is alone, is they must not have any full or half length mirrors at home.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 10-27-2004, 12:39 PM
andros andros is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 1999
Now really, you're going to compare a relatively inoffensive poncho to hiphuggers and midriff tees? Puhleeze. Ponchos don't show off GLH. That makes them a venal sin at absolute worst.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 10-27-2004, 01:12 PM
Shirley Ujest Shirley Ujest is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 1999
Quote:
Originally Posted by UrbanChic
Did you start the dog show thread, too? If so, Shirley, you're like my new bestest friend and all.

Yes, I did start the Dog Show Thread which sunk rapidly to the bottom of the pit for being weighted down with lameness, lack of profane verbage and lack of pure malice and spite.

Anywhoo, I think I agree with you, UrbanChic my new bestest friend and will take it One Step Farther.

I think Appropriate Dress Chick will always tell a Fat Chick In a Poncho/Lyrca/Hip Huggers that she is dressed nicely in order to make her ownself look good. This is referred to as Fat Bridesmaid Syndrome.

Hip huggers and tummy baring shirts are also evil.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 10-27-2004, 01:15 PM
threemae threemae is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 1999
Poncho?

Could someone provide a photo or something to the fashion-illiterate?
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 10-27-2004, 01:29 PM
UrbanChic UrbanChic is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Here's one, threemae. Here's another. I hate to admit it but I kind of like the latter of the two...
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 10-27-2004, 03:27 PM
AwSnappity AwSnappity is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Ponchos are #9 on my list of trivial things I hate for inexplicable reasons. I think ponchos serve as a lame pretense for wearing a blanket out in public. One of my favorite activities this summer was going to Navy Pier and secretly laughing at all the chicks in ponchos (and other misguided fashion attempts). Sorry, I just don't see the appeal. I don't think ponchos look good on anyone.

Apologies to the poncho-wearers and friends of poncho-wearers of America. But I just don't like ponchos.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 10-27-2004, 03:48 PM
Ponder Stibbons Ponder Stibbons is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
And here I thought this thread was going to be friends who are sloppy eaters going to a Mexican Buffet.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 10-27-2004, 03:49 PM
Ponder Stibbons Ponder Stibbons is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
... just imagine the word "about" is in the above sentence at the correct location. Thank you ...
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 10-27-2004, 03:57 PM
Fritz Fritz is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Quote:
Originally Posted by This Year's Model
Is that a Mexican poncho or is that a Sears poncho?
"But I have ze crystal ball..."

or later

"But I have ze Ring of Fire..."
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 10-27-2004, 04:25 PM
alice_in_wonderland alice_in_wonderland is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
You wimins will get my Teenflo poncho from me when you pry it from my cold, dead hands!

(Or at the end of this season, when they will die like a fashion dog.)
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 10-27-2004, 04:39 PM
threemae threemae is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 1999
Quote:
Originally Posted by UrbanChic
Here's one, threemae. Here's another. I hate to admit it but I kind of like the latter of the two...
Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Those things are rediculous. Even the second one.
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 10-27-2004, 05:44 PM
andros andros is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 1999
Nah, the first one's beigeiculous, the second looks charcoaliculous.
Reply With Quote
  #21  
Old 10-27-2004, 05:51 PM
UrbanChic UrbanChic is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
heh.
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 10-28-2004, 01:49 AM
Tikki Tikki is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
I'd gladly put up with ponchos for a few months as long as Lycra tights/pedal pushers never make a comeback. Name two average women who ever looked good in those.
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 10-28-2004, 01:53 AM
Batsinma Belfry Batsinma Belfry is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
I made enough money selling my handmade ponchos on ebay last winter, that my husband didn't have to get a second job. Plus we had groceries! Unlike the year before. So I think they're beautiful, and everyone should have atleast a dozen of them.

Actually, I think the skinny chicks look worse than anyone, while wearing a poncho. It gives them a PEZ dispenser look. You can't wear something shapeless, unless you have a shape to begin with. Even if the shape is round. The type with the point in the front has a slimming effect if you're chubby.
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Old 10-28-2004, 02:54 AM
Kayeby Kayeby is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Quote:
Originally Posted by UrbanChic
Here's one, threemae. Here's another. I hate to admit it but I kind of like the latter of the two...
I dunno, I kind of like the first one - it has a kind of Rick Owens look to it. Although I would only wear one in lieu of a blanket (like at the Moonlight Cinema or out on the beach) but ponchos aren't as ugly as I remember them being.
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Old 10-28-2004, 02:56 AM
Kayeby Kayeby is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Aaaaagh! I spoke too soon. I just found this monstrosity on eBay. Ugg ponchos. For fuck's sake.
Reply With Quote
  #26  
Old 10-28-2004, 02:58 AM
AwSnappity AwSnappity is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
That's it, whoever's designing all those Ugg "fashions" needs to find a new line of work but quick.
Reply With Quote
  #27  
Old 10-28-2004, 03:10 AM
Liz Liz is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tikki
I'd gladly put up with ponchos for a few months as long as Lycra tights/pedal pushers never make a comeback. Name two average women who ever looked good in those.
You're kidding right? If not, let me damage your soul by breaking the news -- pedal pushers/capris are all the rage and have been for a couple of years now.

A snarky ass co-worker of mine once commented that she didn't think my band t-shirts and track pants were very "grown-up", and it took all the strength I had not to scream "You're wearing fucking pink plaid capris with bows on them! What in the fuck are you talking about?"

I hate capris so. goddamn. much.

And ponchos suck, too. I haven't seen many people sporting those, although I do see them in the stores by the boatload.
Reply With Quote
  #28  
Old 10-28-2004, 03:16 AM
AwSnappity AwSnappity is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Ahh, pedal pushers have been around for a few years, you're right about that chatelaine, but may God have mercy on us if Lycra pedal pushers ever become popular, which is what I think Tikki was referring to.
Reply With Quote
  #29  
Old 10-28-2004, 03:18 AM
Liz Liz is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
...I have no words for that abomination.
Reply With Quote
  #30  
Old 10-28-2004, 04:12 AM
Telperien Telperien is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Ponchos are evil. The first one in the link looks like a cardigan without sleeves worn sideways. The second would be quite respectable if it was in sweater form, with sleeves, as is right and proper. I have seen all sorts of ponchos worn lately and they were all hideous. You could save your money and just drape a blanket that you already own over yourself. I dress badly, but at least I know it.
Reply With Quote
  #31  
Old 10-28-2004, 04:14 AM
jellyblue jellyblue is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 1,306
Another vote for the No Ponchos contingent. My theory is that the only women who wear them are ones too young to have been forced into an orange and avocado green one their mom knitted for them in the 6th grade and then forced to look at unfortunate Polaroids of themselves in the getup for all perpetuity.


Yes, I'm scarred.
Even after years of therapy.

One advantage: it's easy to have an impromptu picnic in the park if you're wearing one. Especially if you buy one equipped with the special cutlery holsters.
Reply With Quote
  #32  
Old 10-28-2004, 04:15 AM
jellyblue jellyblue is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 1,306
Except, of course, for the ones made by Hillbilly Queen. I'm sure they are indescribably beautiful .
Reply With Quote
  #33  
Old 10-28-2004, 05:06 AM
yosemite yosemite is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 1999
Quote:
Originally Posted by chatelaine
A snarky ass co-worker of mine once commented that she didn't think my band t-shirts and track pants were very "grown-up", and it took all the strength I had not to scream "You're wearing fucking pink plaid capris with bows on them! What in the fuck are you talking about?"

I hate capris so. goddamn. much.
Pink plaid, with bows? That's just way too much.

Since I've resumed sewing (I'm an off-and-on seamstress) my dear grey-haired, grandmotherly mom has been at me to sew her some capris. That's her #1 request. Capris. She wants to wear them to church. Now, our church is kind of relaxed with its dress code--I have gone there wearing clean, well-cared-for jeans and a top, but I've never seen anyone wear capris and I don't want my mom to be the first.

I've told her that I will sew her the capris, with the understanding that they never be worn to church. She protested at first but relented when she saw the steely determination in my eyes. No Capris At Church.

As far as ponchos go, I've seen a McCall's pattern (too lazy to look it up now) that really doesn't look to bad, especially if it is honestly used as outerwear to keep you warm (instead of just an ineffectual fashion accessory). I might make myself that kind of poncho, just because it would be easy to make, and with the right fabric, it would be very warm. However, I already have an old pattern that includes some sort of poncho-esque design, but it looks like a tiny square of hankerchief fabric slung over the model's shoulders. Very stupid. Nope--won't be sewing anything from that pattern.

I'm sure that hillbilly queen's homemade ponchos were fabulous--it seems to me that often we seamstresses have far more sense than the big fashion retailers. Or perhaps that's just my vanity talking. (I'm certainly not perfect--being an "off and on again" type seamstress--but I have great faith in hillbilly queen's taste!)
Reply With Quote
  #34  
Old 10-28-2004, 05:13 AM
Liz Liz is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Quote:
Originally Posted by yosemite
Pink plaid, with bows? That's just way too much.

Since I've resumed sewing (I'm an off-and-on seamstress) my dear grey-haired, grandmotherly mom has been at me to sew her some capris. That's her #1 request. Capris. She wants to wear them to church. Now, our church is kind of relaxed with its dress code--I have gone there wearing clean, well-cared-for jeans and a top, but I've never seen anyone wear capris and I don't want my mom to be the first.

I've told her that I will sew her the capris, with the understanding that they never be worn to church. She protested at first but relented when she saw the steely determination in my eyes. No Capris At Church.
Mhm, pink plaid with bows at the bottom of the legs on the back. Just fucking hideous.

As for the tiny-scrap-of-fabric ponchos, that's another idea that never should have left the runway.
Reply With Quote
  #35  
Old 10-28-2004, 05:34 AM
Scissorjack Scissorjack is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Auckland
Posts: 6,670
Ponchos are OK as long as you have a sneer, a week's stubble, a cigarillo clenched in your jaw, a cowboy hat and a six-shooter to back it up. Cue Ennio Morricone: "Oo-ee-ooh! Wah-wah-wah!"
__________________
Detrimento malignitas; victoria ultio
Reply With Quote
  #36  
Old 10-28-2004, 07:40 AM
Shirley Ujest Shirley Ujest is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 1999
Yeah, the only kind of poncho that looks good is with Josey Wales wearing it.


Oooooooh.......josey....wales......





thanks middlecase
Reply With Quote
  #37  
Old 10-28-2004, 01:01 PM
alice_in_wonderland alice_in_wonderland is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Quote:
Originally Posted by Middlecase
Ponchos are OK as long as you have a sneer, a week's stubble, a cigarillo clenched in your jaw, a cowboy hat and a six-shooter to back it up. Cue Ennio Morricone: "Oo-ee-ooh! Wah-wah-wah!"
This is actually exactly what I look like in my dove grey Teenflo one I referenced earlier...
Reply With Quote
  #38  
Old 10-28-2004, 02:05 PM
AncientHumanoid AncientHumanoid is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Not talking about leg stubble, Alice.
Reply With Quote
  #39  
Old 10-28-2004, 02:12 PM
don't ask don't ask is offline
Member
 
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Sydney, Australia
Posts: 16,137
Quote:
Originally Posted by UrbanChic
My husband and I have a theory. We believe these women have friends who tell them they look good so that when they go out together the friend who's usually dressed appropriately looks better in comparison.

Chunky girl: Cindra, what do you think about this outfit? (spins, revealing a tight, midriff-baring top and low-cut jeans so tight her middle looks like she swallowed a tire)
Evil friend: Girl, you look good.
Chunk girl: Are you sure because I think these jeans may be a little, you know, tight. Are you sure they don't make my ass look too fat?
Evil friend: Oh my god, no! When we go to the party, the guys are going to be all over you, girl.
Chunky girl squeals with delight, thanks her friend, dons a poncho and the duo heads out into the night.

Our other theory, if the inappropriately dressed person is alone, is they must not have any full or half length mirrors at home.
I always thought that about Stevie Wonder. That he had these friends with a really bad sense of humour who used to dress him each day and say, "No, you don't look like an idiot Stevie, you look really good."

Glad to see there are other sick puppies around.
Reply With Quote
  #40  
Old 10-28-2004, 02:19 PM
MsRobyn MsRobyn is offline
Straight Dope Science Advisory Board
 
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Between the Moon and NYC
Posts: 12,450
My Spanish professor looks good in a poncho, but she's from Uruguay where ponchos are acceptable attire. Of course, they're not "fashion" ponchos, but honest-to-goodness South American ponchos. South Americans are serious about ponchos.

Robin, whose mom has one of her old ones, a pink-and-white crocheted number that would've looked good under a floral centerpiece.

Robin
Reply With Quote
  #41  
Old 10-28-2004, 05:01 PM
BiblioCat BiblioCat is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
All the girls at work wear them and they just look adorable.


Of course, I should mention that "all the girls" means the little girls at the preschool where I work. They're all between three and six years old.

I wouldn't be caught dead in one.
Reply With Quote
  #42  
Old 10-28-2004, 05:09 PM
jsgoddess jsgoddess is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
When my brother and I used to play "CHiPs" on our bikes, he'd claim that because his hair was darker, I had to be John while he was Poncho.

I still have the emotional scars.
Reply With Quote
  #43  
Old 10-28-2004, 06:53 PM
buttonjockey308 buttonjockey308 is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
ok, I get the panchos, not a fan either, but what about Kilts now THOSE, i like...

















...cause i own one.
Reply With Quote
  #44  
Old 10-28-2004, 07:40 PM
Flutterby Flutterby is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Penumbra
Posts: 6,538
I'm afraid.. my Nanna who normally has really good fashion sense sent my mother and I a poncho.. a dark purple one.

It's actually nice, meant as outwear if you are dressed up to go to the theatre.

But damn it, I don't have the clothes to wear it with, nor am I going to the opera or ballet anytime soon!
Reply With Quote
  #45  
Old 10-28-2004, 09:56 PM
dubs dubs is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Delaware
Posts: 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by Middlecase
Ponchos are OK as long as you have a sneer, a week's stubble, a cigarillo clenched in your jaw, a cowboy hat and a six-shooter to back it up. Cue Ennio Morricone: "Oo-ee-ooh! Wah-wah-wah!"
. . .and capri pants are okay if you're Laura Petrie.
Reply With Quote
  #46  
Old 10-29-2004, 01:55 PM
Bambi Hassenpfeffer Bambi Hassenpfeffer is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Quote:
Originally Posted by AwSnappity
Ahh, pedal pushers have been around for a few years, you're right about that chatelaine, but may God have mercy on us if Lycra pedal pushers ever become popular, which is what I think Tikki was referring to.
Please note that that monstrosity goes up to 4XL. Speaking as a fat person, I'd like to reiterate what I've said for years. Just because they make it in your size doesn't mean that you should wear it.
Reply With Quote
  #47  
Old 10-29-2004, 03:11 PM
ouryL ouryL is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: 21 20' N 157 55' W
Posts: 6,501
For the record, I have no friends who wear ponchos.



They wear really ugly dashikis.
Reply With Quote
  #48  
Old 10-29-2004, 03:23 PM
lisacurl lisacurl is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
I'd wear a dashiki before I wore a poncho. I thought they were stupid when I was eight years old, and I stand by that assessment.

Besides, they make me look pregnant.
Reply With Quote
  #49  
Old 11-21-2004, 08:21 PM
Shirley Ujest Shirley Ujest is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 1999
Poncho Abuse on a very scary global scale.
Reply With Quote
  #50  
Old 11-21-2004, 09:28 PM
calm kiwi calm kiwi is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
You are not wrong. EWWWW!
Reply With Quote
Reply



Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:12 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@chicagoreader.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Publishers - interested in subscribing to the Straight Dope?
Write to: sdsubscriptions@chicagoreader.com.

Copyright 2013 Sun-Times Media, LLC.