Mrs. Cindy Johnson of Liberia/Senegal needs my assistance. YAY!

[Shirley Ujest]

I am so excited!


I finally received my first scam email from Africa. Her email is from Uganda.

Dear:


I know this mail will come to you as a surprise,
nevertheless I am Mrs. Cindy Johnson, aged 59 years,
the wife of Major stephen johnson, Chief Security
Officer and Aide-de–camp to the exiled president
Charles Tailor of Liberia . As a result of the
on-going problem in my country, I am saddled with
problems of my ill-health of protracted diabetes and
high blood pressure which is getting of increase in
the recent times, more importantly getting a trust
worthy individual abroad to receive the sum of
US$7million and 15kg worth of Diamond on our behalf.
Due to this war crises presently in my city Monrovia
our home town, I managed to sneak myself and my son
David 23 years of age and four other of my daughters
out of Monrovia to Dakar senegal for safety. We were
sneaked into Dakar Senegal through the land boarder by the help of some government militant group. After the killing of my husband by the rebels, we decided to come down here to Dakar senegal to secure the this deposit deposited here by my husband and to further look for a trust worthy individual abroad to receive these deposit which has being deposited here in Dakar Senegal before he was eventually killed by the heartless rebels. I feel confident therefore to
introduce myself to you based on this problem and our present condition as all our foreign contacts and connections got lost during this crises, all
properties burnt by the rebels. I am desperately in
need to move and re-locate this huge deposit to your
country for safe keeping as this is the only wealth
remaining for the future survival and well being of my large family. For your percentage for assistance, a negotiable percentage will be discussed as soon as I receive your response based on this plea for your
assistance as our lives are highly in danger due to
this problem. I pray and plead for your help. You can email me back for further clarifications God bless you as you respond to my plea for assistance.

Sincerely

yours.

Mrs Cindy Johnson.

oh.this.poor.poor.woman.

[Gyrate]

I got one of these the other day from some people based in Switzerland (so they said) and purporting to belong to the Independent Council of Esteemed Persons. Crikey, it's like having the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen writing to you.

[Shirley Ujest]

Esteemed Persons!



Whoooo, they must be loaded.


I will be replying to her, I just have to take care of pesky matters like getting my kids ready for school before I can help her repatriate her millions and a big fat diamond ring.

[Magret]

Well I'm very excited too, I got one from Yasser Arafat's widow.

Dear Friend,

This mail may not be surprising to you if you have been following current events in the international media with reference to the Middle East and Palestine in particular.

I am Mrs. SUHA ARAFAT, the wife of YASSER ARAFAT, the Palestinian leader who died recently in Paris.

Then there's lots more, about the secret bank accounts, and $6.5 billion... the "antagonism, confusion, humiliation, frustration and hopelessness" and it ends with

In case you don't accept please do not let me out to the security and international media as I am giving you this information in total trust and confidence I will greatly appreciate if you accept my proposal in good faith.

Oops. Does the SDMB count as 'international media'?

[UncleRojelio]

Originally Posted by Shirley Ujest

I finally received my first scam email from Africa.

Congrats on your deflowering. Considering your enthusiasim, from now on I'll forword all similar emails that I recieve to you. Hope you have plenty of disk space.

[Shirley Ujest]

Originally Posted by Magret

Well I'm very excited too, I got one from Yasser Arafat's widow.



Then there's lots more, about the secret bank accounts, and $6.5 billion... the "antagonism, confusion, humiliation, frustration and hopelessness" and it ends with



Oops. Does the SDMB count as 'international media'?

Hey! How do you rate Arafat's widow and I get some widow from Liberia? I wonder how long until they try to send emails out stating they are Ronald Reagan's Widow.

[Tapioca Dextrin]

I say gor for it! Be sure that she sends you the 15kg of diamonds first, as a goodwill gesture.

[GrizzRich]

During the negotiations, offer to drop your percentage exchange for one of her daughters.

[Sunspace]

I've gotten these scam spams in all sorts of languages including Esperanto, and yet somehow they all look the same. Weird use of capitals (often all-caps), long paragraphs, odd overly-polite phrasing... is there some sort of "Advance-Fee-Fraud Message-Writing School" somewhere? Is the English style indicative of some particular culture or school system? Are they all written by the same three people?

Originally Posted by Shirley Ujest

Hey! How do you rate Arafat's widow and I get some widow from Liberia? I wonder how long until they try to send emails out stating they are Ronald Reagan's Widow.

I'd only get worried if they started coming from George Bush's widow...

[Khadaji]

That bitch! She offered me the same deal! Well, I'm not gonna share, no sirree and so I'm gonna withdraw my support!

[harmless]

Don't trust her.
I went to school with that bitch!
She's age 20 years and moved to S. Africa...but I can tell it's her.
On second thought, the letter is too well composed.

[Nolan]

What I always find interesting in these emails is that you are the one "specifically chosen" to be the helper. My international connections start and end at Pier One imports, really, so the author's ability to know me well enough to offer me several million is pretty exciting!

Here's a web site that lists the "most outrageous" of these kinds of scams. Pretty funny, actually.

And if you want to read something exciting,
this group here played along with one of these scams and got the scammer to do some pretty outrageous things.

I had a coworker receive one of these emails and she came over to my desk very concerned. "What if they really need my help? Should I help them? And why is there email address say, "yahoo.com?" Are they serious or a bunch of yahoos? What should I say?"

I tried very hard to answer her with a straight face. I didn't succeed once I discovered she was being serious.

[Eve]

Dear Dopers—

I know this mail will come to you as a surprise, nevertheless I am Czarina Alexandra "Cindy" Fedorovna, aged 46 years, the wife of the Emperor, Nicholas II of all the Russias. As a result of the on-going problem in my country, I am saddled with problems of my ill-health of protracted diabetes and high blood pressure, which is getting of increase in the recent times, more importantly getting a trustworthy individual abroad to receive the Crown Jewels of the Russian Empire on our behalf. Due to this war crises presently in my city St. Petersburg our home town, I managed to sneak myself and my son Tsarevitch Alexis of Russia and four other of my daughters, Olga, Tatiana, Marie and Anastasia, out of St. Petersburgh to Ykaterinoslav for safety.

We were sneaked into Ykaterinoslav by the help of some government militant group. After the killing of my husband by the Communists, we decided to come down here to Ykaterinoslav to secure the Crown Jewels deposited here by my husband and to further look for a trustworthy individual abroad to receive them, before he was eventually killed by the heartless rebels. I feel confident therefore to introduce myself to you based on this problem and our present condition as all our foreign contacts and connections got lost during this crises, all properties burnt by the rebels, and the dog ate Rasputin.

I am desperately in need to move and re-locate this huge deposit to your country for safe keeping as this is the only wealth remaining for the future survival and well being of my large family. For your percentage for assistance, a negotiable percentage will be discussed as soon as I receive your response based on this plea for your assistance as our lives are highly in danger due to this problem. I pray and plead for your help. You can email me back for further clarifications. God bless you as you respond to my plea for assistance.

Sincerely yours.

Czarina Alexandra "Cindy" Fedorovna, Empress of All the Russias

[Governor Quinn]

Czarina, your letter seems a bit off, as your English is a bit off from personal letter of yours that I have read.

Nevertheless, I am willing to help you, however, there is an issue at hand for you to help me with.

I am the former Governor of both Hawaii and Rhode Island. Both states are investigating me for fraud, accusing me of stealing funds from the state treasury.

What I need you to do for me is to provide testimony as to my character, confirming that I would never do such a foul deed.

Will you?

- Gov. Firstname M. "The Mighty" Quinn

[TellMeI'mNotCrazy]

Oh yay! It's been far too long since the Mangetout/Austin Wemba/Dick Dastardly fun. (And believe it or not, that's all from memory.)

[rowe]

I can't share in the good-natured humor that the rest of you are enjoying in this thread. I've lost over a dozen relatives in Africa over the past year, all perishing in car accidents, along with their spouses and children. Luckily, each of my relatives was loaded with cash and I'm currently in the process of claiming these funds before the government swoops in and steals it forever. I'm hoping that this money will help ease the pain of my overwhelming loss.

[Daizy]

I'm the next of kin to the latest and greatest Mr. Jonas Savimbi! I am too!!!

Good Day,


THIS MESSAGE MAY COME TO YOU AS A SURPRISE BUT I PLEAD WITH YOU TO READ IT BEFORE YOU MAKE A DECISION WETHER TO ASSIST ME OR NOT. MY NAME IS KOFFI NANA. I AM THE MANAGER OF A BANK HERE IN ACCRA, GHANA AND I WISH TO SOLICIT YOUR ASSISTANCE IN A TRANSACTION: MY COLLEAGUES AND I WISH YOU TO HELP US MAKE A CLAIM IN THE TRANSFER OF AN INHERITANCE FUND.

THE MONEY WAS DEPOSITED THREE YEARS AGO BY MR. JONAS SAVIMBI THE LEADER OF THE NATIONAL UNION FOR THE TOTAL INDEPENDECE OF ANGOLA (UNITA) IN MY BANK HERE. HIS ORGANISATION, NOW OUTLAWED BY THE DICTATORSHIP, HAS BEEN IN CONTROL OF A LARGE PART OF ANGOLA FOR MORE THAN TWENTY YEARS, WITH MANY WESTERN ALLIES. SADLY, MR. SAVIMBI WAS TRAGICALLY KILLED IN COMBAT AGAINST THE GOVERNMENT FORCES IN THE CENTRAL EASTERN PROVINCE OF MEXICO IN ANGOLA ON THE 22ND OF FERBRUARY 2002. LEAVING HIS DEPOSIT HERE UNCLAIMED.

AS HE DID NOT LIVE TO SEE THE MATURITY OF HIS FIXED DEPOSIT, WHICH WAS LAST YEAR, WE ARE LEFT IN A QUANDRUM. HE APPOINTED HIS 'FOREIGN PARTNER' AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO THE DEPOSIT. AFTER TWO YEARS OF RESARCH WE - MY COLLEGUES AND I - HAVE BEEN UNABLE TO FIND THIS PERSON, AND HAVE FOUND OUT THAT NO ONE FROM HIS ORGANISATION, OR FAMILY, IS ACTUALLY AWARE OF THESE FUNDS.

THE PRESENT GOVERNMENT OF ANGOLA IS NOW CONFISCATING ANYTHING TO DO WITH UNITA, OR ANYTHING BELONGING TO MR. SAVIMBI. HOWEVER, WE HAVE BEEN LUCKY IN THAT NO ACCESS IS GRANTED TO CONFIDENTIAL DEPOSITS AT OUR BANK: MUCH LIKE IN SWITZERLAND, OR THE CAMAN ISLANDS. HOWEVER, IT IS BANK POLICY TO DONATE ANY UNCLAIMED MONEY AFTER FOUR YEARS TO THE GOVERNMENT OF GHANA. HENCE MY REASON OF CONTACTING YOU: WE NEED THE FUNDS TO BE TRANSFERED INTO A FOREIGN ACCOUNT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

ALL MODALITIES FOR THE SUCCESFUL TRANSFER OF THIS MONEY HAVE BEEN PUT IN PLACE AND WE ARE LOOKING FOR A TRUST WORTHY FOREIGN PARTNER, INTO WHOSE BANK ACCOUNT THIS TRANSFER WOULD BE REMITTED. BASED ON THIS, MY COLLEAGUES HAVE MANDATED ME TO PROVIDE SOMEONE TO POSE AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO CLAIM THIS MONEY.

WE HAVE AGREED TO COMPENSATE YOU UPON THE COMPLETION OF THE TRANSACTION, SHOULD ACCEPT TO ASSIST US, WITH A PERCENTAGE OF THE TOTAL AMOUNT THAT WE WILL AGREE ON BEFORE STARTING.

PLEASE REACH ME VIA THIS EMAIL ADDRESS IF YOU ARE ABLE TO ASSIT US: koffi_nana@freeghana.com

WE ASSURE YOU THAT THIS TRANSACTION IS 100% RISK FREE AS THE BENEFICIARY IS DEAD AND I MANAGE THE BANK WHERE THE DEPOSIT IS HELD. IT WILL BE TRANSFERRED AS INHERITANCE TO AVOID QUESTIONS FROM YOUR OWN BANK. TO KNOW MORE ABOUT JONAS SAVIMBI PLEASE ACCESS THE WEBSITE BELOW.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/1837512.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/1837565.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programme...nt/1886164.stm

REGARDS, AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME,

MR. KOFFI NANA.

First thing I'm gonna do with my wad of cash, is buy my best friend Koffi a computer with a functional Caps Lock key.

[Eve]

MY NAME IS KOFFI NANA. I AM THE MANAGER OF A BANK HERE IN ACCRA, GHANA . . .

So, being visited by the Koffi Nana is even better than being visited by the Tooth Fairy?

[Daizy]

Originally Posted by Eve

So, being visited by the Koffi Nana is even better than being visited by the Tooth Fairy?

It would appear so. When dealing with Koffi Nana , everything is 100% risk free. With the Tooth Fairy...well.... you've pretty much got to lose teeth!

Daizy Savimbi

[Hoopy Frood]

In my 10 years or so of being online, I've never received one of these. I count myself lucky.

[MacSpon]

I answered one of these emails and it turned out to be true!

No, really. The money is on its way.







I just have to pay a small sum for agents' fees first ...

[Regallag_The_Axe]

I got one from South America. The thing is, there's not a whole lot going on down there now. I dont know if I'm uninformed or the scammers are just really dumb.

By the way, why are they always targetting Americans? Do they think that we're all stupid bleeding heart pussies?

[MelCthefirst]

Originally Posted by Regallag_The_Axe

I got one from South America. The thing is, there's not a whole lot going on down there now. I dont know if I'm uninformed or the scammers are just really dumb.

By the way, why are they always targetting Americans? Do they think that we're all stupid bleeding heart pussies?

Trust me, Americans are not the only ones being targetted.
I was wondering if they initially targetted Americans, then branched out?
When I was living in Japan 7 years ago, someone at work got the email. I was asked to translate it. It was the first I had ever heard of the scams and was at first bemused and suggested that the recipient contact the police (he was initially very flattered and excited that someone would contact him from another country but couldn't work out how they had got his email address).
I have had about 4 in the last two years in NZ. About the second one, I decided to have some fun (before I knew that scammer bating was a bonefide sport). This one wanted to marry me after the second email - I kept asking him where he was and where he thought I was, because he kept saying he would come to my country. He really had no idea what country I was in. I spent a number of emails explaining that I could open an account for him, he didn't need to use mine and that I could deposit money for him. I think he was relatively new to the scam and not too knowledgeable about overseas banking.

[Voyager]

Though You Don't Know Me, I Have Your Name As Someone Trstworthy From The Best Of Suorces.

My Name Is Mrs. Abel. My Husband Was Killed By My Brotherinlaw Doo To A Dispute About His Meat Business. I Was Able To Take 5 Kigrams Of Diamonds Just Lying Around As I Fled Our Home. My Deisre Is To Put Them In A Swiss Bank , But As Switzerland Has Not Been Invented Yet, I Need Someone To Hold Them For Me. If You Will Give Me Your Social Security Number, Bank Account Number, Smdb Password, Mother's Maiden Name, And Left Nut, I Will Send You The Diamonds.

Please Do Not Let Anyone Know Of This Offer, As Someone Upstairs May Be Upset At My Removing The Gems From His Park. Please Also Do Not Ask Where I Came From.

I Am Sure We Can Have A Long And Productive Relationship.

Lilith Abel (mrs.)

[Voyager]

WTF? That was supposed to be in all caps. Kind of loses the impact.

[Tio Gringo]

Originally Posted by Hoopy Frood

In my 10 years or so of being online, I've never received one of these. I count myself lucky.

I recieved one once...in 1960...for twenty minutes...

[Askance]

Originally Posted by Regallag_The_Axe

By the way, why are they always targetting Americans?

What makes you think this is so? Would you know if they were targetting anyone else?


I received my first Nigerian scam letter by surface mail in the late 1970s.

[Savannah]

They're certainly targeting Canadians, and there has been a huge surge in my in-box in the last month. I have been getting about 3-4 a week, if not more. One claimed to be from the widow of the Phillipines' president, but I can't remember which one.

I always use them as an excuse to vent my week's frustrations, and see if I can come up with a reply as faux-formal, but yet includes the instructions to show an ungreased goat up their ass.

[Savannah]

Well, whaddaya know...

NIGERIAN NATIONAL PETROLEUM CORPORATION
FROM. The Desk OF: DR DANIEL SOGOLO
DIRECTOR PROJECT IMPLEMENTATION(NNPC)
JOINT VENTURE
Dear Sir,
Compliments.
I strongly apologize for this unsolicited mail, but I am
constrained by circumstances surrounding my profession .I
have the mandate of my colleagues in office to solicite for
your assistance for a deal we want to execute The business
involves the remittance of US$20.5M(twenty million and five
hundred thousand United States Dollars) to your bank account
from the Central Bank of Nigeria.

And so on.

Make that a large, ungreased goat.

[Princhester]

Originally Posted by Sunspace

... is there some sort of "Advance-Fee-Fraud Message-Writing School" somewhere? Is the English style indicative of some particular culture or school system?

There's a GQ thread on this.

And they are not targetting Americans or Canadians. They are targetting people with email addresses. Period.

[Scissorjack]

Where's mine, dammit? Bloody typical - Nigerian fraud e-mails are like sex: everyone else gets loads, and I never get any. I want to have fun with a scammer!

[Shirley Ujest]

Maybe we could to a united front. Sending all our Scam emails to Middlecase for dining and dancing pleasure.

[Maus Magill]

Originally Posted by AndrewT

What makes you think this is so? Would you know if they were targetting anyone else?


I received my first Nigerian scam letter by surface mail in the late 1970s.

Oh yeah? Well I recieved my first one in the early 1970s, by carrier pigeon.


Seriously, I am totally heart broken due to the fact that my long-lost cousin, Mr. Mark [Magill] just keeps dying in a car crash.

[MrJones]

In my store we get these scams all the time, but we get just as often are large orders from Nigeria. On the first one we went back and forth with them because they had to pay with personal check. Credit Card and Cash wouldn't work. We turned that one down, but we did get taken by an order that was supposed to be shipped to Wichita, Kansas. We customized the shirts and everything and sent them to Kansas, then the shirts came back because there was a mistake...... they were supposed to be sent to Nigeria! Plus, the charge was disputed by the purchaser. The fellow was using a stolen credit card. We eventually got our money back, and are selling the shirts on our close-out rack (there's actually a market for T-Shirts with someone elses name on them). The guy's name is Mustysmith Smithmusty.

So Nigeria seems to be ripe with internet fraud and people with palindromes for names.

[MrJones]

We also get them by phone! This is the most annoying because they use an operator relay (normally used by deaf people) to communicate. Each sentence takes several minutes to complete.

[Governor Quinn]

Originally Posted by Maus Magill

Oh yeah? Well I recieved my first one in the early 1970s, by carrier pigeon.

And I've seen similar letters from the 1910's (in that era, it was known as the "Spanish Prisoner" scheme.)

[Shirley Ujest]

I am wondering when these scams by mail first surfaced. I wonder if it could go back farther than 1910 ......anyone else every heard of a scam that is eons old like this?

[Tuckerfan]

If you haven't seen ebola monkey man, it's a real hoot. The guy makes the scammers send him pictures of themselves holding up signs like "Get Up Flacid Willy" and "Iama Dildo". Great stuff, and the guy really strings them along. He also got one of them to give him the inside story on how the scammers operate. They basically work out of internet cafes in Nigeria, and give one another pointers. If you need a bogus account number to give them, I've got one from a scammer who sent me a counterfeit check you can have!

[Savannah]

If you tell them you're intrigued, you get this:

Greetings from Dr Daniel Sogolo.Thank you for replying my E-mail.I was very happy to hear from you.I am involeving you in a Business that will be benefith to both of us at the end of it.

However, this found in question is in CBN Central Bank of Nigeria here in Nigeria,I will send you all the whole documents that will prove to the Bank,here in Nigeria that you are the rightfull Beneficiary to have this money.

With the documents we will send you ,you will feel free to contact the Bank,which they will not ask you much question,to release this money to you,bear with me all will go in peace and you receive this money.as soon as you receive this money I will arrive in your country so that we can share it as agreed

Try to get back to me,when replying send me all your contact telephone and fax numbers for easy communication,the year is about going to end,I will like this money to reach to your nominated acount before 14 working days

I look forward hearing from you sonnest.

I know other people have strung them along, but I don't think I have the energy to. I procrastinate enough already about replying to normal email.

[Shirley Ujest]

Iama Dildo would be an excellent psuedonym for a book writer.

[Shagnasty]

A got one about a month ago from Nigeria. The message said that my long-lost uncle, aunt, and their child had been killed in a car accident in Nigeria and they located me as one of the only family members that could claim their $3.5 million. The details were very vague of course. Here is what I wrote back:

"That is horrible. I knew Uncle Pitt and Aunt Doylene when I was growing up but my family lost track of them after he moved to Egypt to work in international relations. I didn't even know if they ever had a child. I knew that they were trying hard before they left but he had fertility problems. I can't ever imagine why he never contacted his family again. I just called my aunt to tell her the news and she is destroyed. We are going to arrange a memorial service next Monday, November 1st at our church. Do you have any personal trinkets such as pictures, letters, or favorite knickknacks that we can use for the service? I know that it will be hard to get them from here from Nigeria so fast but we can pay for rapid delivery. Let me know and we can work out the details of the money transfer in a few days after the service is over."

[MelCthefirst]

Originally Posted by Shagnasty

A got one about a month ago from Nigeria. The message said that my long-lost uncle, aunt, and their child had been killed in a car accident in Nigeria and they located me as one of the only family members that could claim their $3.5 million. The details were very vague of course. Here is what I wrote back:

"That is horrible. I knew Uncle Pitt and Aunt Doylene when I was growing up but my family lost track of them after he moved to Egypt to work in international relations. I didn't even know if they ever had a child. I knew that they were trying hard before they left but he had fertility problems. I can't ever imagine why he never contacted his family again. I just called my aunt to tell her the news and she is destroyed. We are going to arrange a memorial service next Monday, November 1st at our church. Do you have any personal trinkets such as pictures, letters, or favorite knickknacks that we can use for the service? I know that it will be hard to get them from here from Nigeria so fast but we can pay for rapid delivery. Let me know and we can work out the details of the money transfer in a few days after the service is over."

Excellent work my friend.