Are there any laws whatsoever, state or otherwise, that would prevent a person from naming their kid something obscene? How about hospital or county rules? If I name my kid “CuntFuck McNiggerWop” is there anything all to prevent me from doing so (besides a lack of hate for the child and sanity)?
I suppose any such laws might be contrary to the 1st Amendment, but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist. Or perhaps it may have even been judged that the naming of a child doesn’t fall under protected expression, since it could victimize a child.
I don’t know about that, but I read an article some time ago that claimed each year in the US there would be a few parents who wanted to include various non-alpha characters in a child’s name, such as fractions, mathematical symbols and other markings that didn’t even appear on the keyboard.
And this practice came before the artist presently called Prince wanted to be known as the artist formerly called Prince.(How the hell do you pronounce that symobl anyway?)
IANAL, but I believe obscenity has been ruled to not be protected by the 1st Amendment. The standard is set by the community in which you live, so you’d probably run into some kind of trouble as soon as you tried to register the kid for school. What would happen at that point is anybody’s guess.
My wife is a teacher. In a public school. She had a child enter her room many years ago. She was informed by this child that her name was Bagina. The child pronounced it clearly as to rhyme with vagina. My wife said ( somewhat shocked ), you mean it’s “Ba-Gee-Nah, right”. The girl insisted that she was saying her name properly. ( This is the 3rd grade. )
By the end of day, the child’s parents were in the Principal’s office. They were infuriated that anyone would dare disrespect their daughter by mis-pronouncing their child’s given name. The Principal informed them that they could either alter the accepted pronounciation, or get an attorney and possibly withdraw their daughter but she would not permit the entire school to go yelling down the halls, " here comes vagina !!! "
They folded. Bah-Gee-Nah had a perfectly nice year that year.
Cartooniverse
p.s. minor hijack: This is the same school where my wife had a young man named Sir Vincent. ( He did have a last name, which of course is both irrelevant and private) Sir Vincent was his legal first name. His parents said they wanted their son to always be shown proper respect. Again, first-person witnessed story. Man… :dubious:
So, they wanted folks to address him as “Sir Sir Vincent”?
And odd though it may sound, I find the story of Bagina reassuring. The parents may have been loony, but at least they gave a damn about something. As the son of an public school teacher, I know just how rare that is.
I dated a fifth-grade teacher who had a boy in her class named shithead (pr. shi-THAYD). Although his parents were from India, he was U.S. born. I always wondered if anyone tried to talk them into, at least, a different spelling.
I personally knew a Hong Kong born man and his sister whose father was Chinese and mother British. In english order (surname last) their names were Fuk Yung Ho and Suk Ng Ho. He went by Tony and she also had an english nickname which I no longer remember.
Feel free to think that that’s a lie or a joke–that’s what I thought until I saw his passport. (Would it add or subtract verisimillitude if I pointed out that, while having strongly asian features, his hair was naturally a bright orange-red?)
Well, you ain’t gonna get an obscene name on a baptismal certificate, at least, not in the Roman Catholic Church. (While children are no longer required to have a saint’s name, canon law prohibits names that are ‘contrary to the faith.’)
As for naming your child anything you want, if I recall there were no rules listed on the birth paperwork.
My real name is in fact Seven. I like the name alot but sometimes I do get quite tired of hearing “is your sisters name eight?” and “were you the 7th born?” or “have you seen that Sienfeld episode?”
I can’t even think to what poor little CuntFuck McNiggerWop would go though.
I was just going to post this exact same thing because my sister (at the time a 5th grade teacher) or a fellow teacher had a student with this exact name and pronunciation. Was this child you’re talking about in Orlando?
Well, at least some of there could be transcriptions of actual Chinese names, maybe incomplete or shortened. Example: my wife’s first name is Poon Ee. It translates roughly to “Source of Happiness” and couldn’t be more spot on.
My wife, who has worked with disadvantaged children, allways reads the birth announcements in the paper, and has compiled a list of what she calls “child abuse names” (ie: names so completely inappropriate as to condemn the kid to a lifetime of teasing or worse).
Anectotal, but in The Real Frank Zappa Book , Frank mentions that when his first son was born they wanted to name him Dweezil. The nurse who brought them the form to fill out refused to let them put the name on the birth certificate, so they ended up giving him the names of every member of the current band and just calling him Dweezil. When he was about six years old he found out his real name and had it legally changed to Dweezil.
