I met Patty quite a few years ago when my brother’s girlfriend asked my boyfriend for a ride to visit her mom. At that time, she was in the hospital; normally she stayed in a nursing home. From then on, I saw her every weekend I had the chance.
I showed up one day with her daughter, but she was napping. It’s a pretty long drive though, and we didn’t want to “waste the trip”, so we decided to wait it out. We walked around basically exploring, because Patty had only recently been transfered there and we hadn’t had the chance yet to scope the place out. During our snooping, we’d run into residents here and there and, really because we didn’t have much better to do, we’d talk to them. Some of them were bitchy, some shy, and some just too far gone to realize we were even there. But every once in a while, we’d come across a face that would light up as soon as we said hi. That’s how we knew.
By the time we got back to Patty’s room, she’d been awake for more than two hours.
Since that day, I have spent countless weekends talking to people I don’t even know. Patty is a Veteran of the US Navy, so she was in a Veteran’s Home. I met real, live heros all the time. I heard the most amazing stories; some horrifying, some really sad, some funny, but they were all fantastic. I heard jokes I couldn’t possibly “get” and references I only recognized from history books. Those years hold some of the best memories of my whole life.
It didn’t take long for me to realize that a lot of these people have no one. So many of them, too many, are just sitting there everyday, alone. I’m pretty emotional anyway, and that knowledge nearly crushed me. But it reinforced what I was doing and it made me try harder to really reach people.
I brought my son down there for the first time when he was about 3 months old. I wasn’t really planning on doing anything with him, as far as meeting new people and stuff. I just wanted Patty to meet him. Four months and more countless weekends later, after everyone I know had their own special Funny Faces for Alex, I dressed him up in his Santa’s Little Helper outfit, put on my Santa hat and brought more than 50 Christmas cards to my friends. I sang carols with some of the women, told jokes with some of the men and had what might be the best Christmas I’ll ever have.
I don’t think I ever realized what I was doing, I mean really knew, until a day last summer. I’d been visiting Patty and I took Alex outside to the “smoking area” they have set up for residents. I set him down so I could smoke. My son, the people-person marched right up to one of the guys and started babbling at him. After a bit, the whole area erupted in laughter as Alex chased birds, spun circles, fell down, giggled, and got back up to do it all over again. Eventually some of the residents who’d been in the indoor smoking area wandered outside. Faces I’d seen before, faces that had looked so empty and sad, were beaming with grins and exploding with giant belly laughs. When it was time to go back inside, Alex waved bye-bye and shook some hands. People thanked me (actually thanked me) and told me what a good boy I have. I knew then that I was doing something really great, and I was proud. People who had absolutely nothing in their lives at all looked forward to the weekends when they knew I’d bring Alex to them again. Laughter, not something you’re very likely to hear often, echoed through the halls on more Saturdays than I’ll ever be able to remember. I’m hesitant to say it, but I think I’ve changed lives.
I’ve wondered more than once over the last few days whether I’d still do what I do, now that Patty’s gone. After typing all this and really thinking about what I’ve done, I know I’ll still visit my friends. Probably not this weekend, but very soon.
I’m not asking everyone to do this because, really, not many people have as much time as I do. 
How about handing out greeting cards to a few random people? Wear a Santa hat while you hand out candy canes to little kids in the mall. Walk through a nursing home just once and say hi to everyone you see in the hallway.
I’ll have to get a new outfit for Alex, but I’m doing the same thing this year that I did last year. I might even do that candy cane thing; I’d never really thought of that before.
In addition, we should all send a dollar to Ellen’s “Thanks for Giving” food drive* because it’s, like, a good cause and stuff. Spread holiday cheer. Recognize how fortunate you are and try to share that with people. Bring joy to a stranger’s life, even if it’s just for one second. It’s worth it, I promise.
*I can’t find the information on her show’s site, but I’ll post the address as soon as I get it. It’s $1.37 with postage, folks. Please at least consider doing this; you can even think of it as a gift for me, and then you won’t have to actually buy me anything. It’s win-win! Uh, yeah… 