I rarely give in to internal profanity urges, but FUCKING FUCK FUCK!!
My hairdresser moved away. I found this out when I went to make an appointment. “Sorry, Gabby doesn’t work here anymore. I can schedule you with H* or M*.” Well, H* cut my hair once before, and he nicked my ear and instead of apologizing, made a wisecrack, so he was out of the question. So Michael it is.
I showed M* the photo of the hair style I wanted, and before anyone makes with the “beautician, not a magician” comments, I selected a style only slightly shorter than it was when I went in, but just as stick-straight and babyfine as my hair is. Simple, pretty, feminine cut, and a nice change from the pixie I’ve been wearing for most of the last ten years. I spent a year growing my hair out long enough to GET a cut like this.
M* looks at the photo and says, “Yes, I think this is very nice for you,” and even points out how very clever I am to pick a model who has my hair type. I THOUGHT when he started cutting that he was cutting at a completely backwards angle, and I said, “Don’t you want to be cutting the angle THIS way?” and he said, “No, if you want it to lay like that I have to thin the back first.” So, he’s the pro, right? He must know what he’s doing, right? He took a razor to me, and left me with this horrifying, layered, angled-from-the-back, flipping out at the chin, crooked bangs FUCKING NIGHTMARE. It resembles Florence Henderson’s Brady Bunch shag. The cut I had picked was a longer, angled-from-the-front and all one length in the back cut that was so pretty.
I just want to cry. I absolutely hate it, I’ve never in my life had a haircut that was so different from what I wanted, and he cut so much from the back that I think I’m going to have to get it ALL cut short again to even it out. I want to go back in there and tear his head off, but what do you SAY to someone who butchered your hair??