Calling all “Arrested Development” fans (and male strippers).
My college friends and I developed a tradition when in school. At the end of a party, we would play a certain song, drop trow, and form a kick line (wearing our boxers). It was good harmless fun, and bystanders greatly enjoyed it. The tradition has continued, and now our weddings have incorporated the tradition (which also gets a favorable response - which was quite surprising the first time around).
Well, in last week’s “Arrested Development” GOB reveals that he wears stripper pants on a regular basis, and ripped his off in the middle of a casual conversation. A friend and I decided that nothing would be more delightful than to employ this technique during our next function.
But the problem is that I have no idea where I can get stripper pants, and am a tad hesitant about doing a google search for “stripper pants”. Does anybody have any leads?
Didn’t explore any of the links but my assumption is that most of them are for female strippers, but you never know.
You could make your own stripper pants by splitting the outside seam of a regular pair of pants and attaching velcro. That seems to be the basic construction of the stripper pants the guys I watch wear. Some incorporate snaps and zippers as well but those are less spontaneously removable. My guess is that they’re mostly home-made.
If you don’t have any better answer by Thursday night I’ll ask the guys where they get theirs.
You might be able to find them in the sporting section of your local clothiers. Look for basketball pants (the technical term). :rolleyes: They look like regular warm up pants but they have buttons/snaps along the inner and outer seams of the legs so that a player coming off the bench can just pull the pants apart without having to remove their shoes and/or tape to do so.
Great suggestion. Ideally, I’ll want to do this with a pair of nice pants, and not basketball warm-ups like Madd Maxx is suggesting (they’re two entirely different things). And if you can find out first-hand, that’d be fantastic. (FTR, I’m not actually frightened of the Google results, it’s just that I only have a connection at work - so I fear my boss!)
You know, going into business making stripper pants (and other stripper clothes) would be somewhat tricky. You’d have to make the pants be able to hold up to dozens of rips a night. The G-strings would have to be stretchy enough to securely hold thick wads of bills while not losing their elasticity over time. Metal bras and cups would need to be form fitting without chafing. All this without being too expensive, since you never know when an ecstatic fan might run off with the trousers tied 'round his/her neck.
-Audiobottle, who has never been to a strip club, but is suddenly curious as to where the clothes come from and may have to conduct some research after work
Otto has the right idea. Any pair of pants can be made into “stripper” pants in this manner. If you live anywhere near an Army base, there should be no shortage of sew shops who could do this for you. If not, find a decent Cleaners/Sewing place and they can convert any pair of pants you want for like 10 bucks.
I’ve had several pairs of polypros fixed up. See, when sitting around the woods laying in snow, one wants to be as warm as possible. And for a Florida boy like me, that means wearing LOTS of undergarments. But once it’s time to start moving out, all the undergarments need to come off. Otherwise, I’d quickly overheat from running around with a 60lb ruck.
So anyway, the solution was to take some polypro pants to the sew shop. They split the pants at the seems, installed velcro, and BAM - instant warming “Stripper” pants.
Velcro Seams is most definitely the way to go. Do it yourself, or have a sew shop do it for a couple bucks. It’s worth it. And the benefit is you can convert any style of pants you want.
Boy howdy, do I! But I’m guessing there’s a thin line that separates “ease of removal” and “stay on when you need them on”. I wonder if you run the velcro straight down the seam, or 2 inches every 6. Or if you want a thin line of velcro or a thick strip.
I think the point of stripper pants is that you want that POP - they’re off!
I think you’d have to split one side of the inside seam too. If only to avoid an unsexy moment of hopping one leg while trying to your pants off the other.
Not familiar with the mechanics of the metal bras and cups, but for the most part I don’t think the pants would be ripped off more than once or twice a night. They’d be taken off as part of a routine and generally the stripper will probably have a different costume for each routine. If they’re just going to be doing box/go-go/cage dancing they are probably going to start out in the g-string/thong rather than stripping to it. The guys I see wear AFIAK regular thong-type underwear. They can’t wear g-strings because there must be no chance under our local ordinances that their buttholes put in even an accidental appearance. Seems to hold its shape over time (and yes, I do sometimes recognize the underwear). They toss their clothes toward the back of the stage so that audience members can’t get to them. Maybe it’s just where I hang out but people are generally pretty respectful of the strippers, both from a personal property standpoint and from a body integrity/grabby hands standpoint.
I was actually thinking more of girls wearing G-strings, but I suppose the law would apply equally, huh. Odd, I always assumed strippers, well, stripped everything. So is it just male strippers who can’t bare it all in your area?
Some more stripper questions involving their clothes:
Do the female stripper ever rip off their pants too, or is that more a man move? I can see myself being more turned on by a woman slowly undressing, but I guess there’s that kind of woman-in-power type thing when she rips the off.
Do they have ripaway shirts too? I can see them doing Hulk Hogan style literally rip their shirts, but that would be a pain to have to rip shirts every night for that, even if it were only once a night.
I am blessedly largely unfamiliar with the workings of female strippers. The few I’ve seen locally I paid little attention to but I’m pretty sure they wore pasties on their nipples and wore something below the waist. I think this was required by law but I haven’t really looked into the law that much. I know it’s illegal for men to perform in a “noticeably turgid state” but that doesn’t stop them from sporting Hollywood loafs.
Depends on the routine. A few of the guys I see have routines where they rip off wife-beaters, which if it’s not TMI I find incredibly hot. Some of them know I like it so they toss me the torn up shirt so I have a bit of a collection of them. The regular button-type shirts they don’t do tearaway style that I’ve seen. The unbuttoning slowly is hotter anyway (and I’m not a big fan of the tearaway pants move either; it’s kind of cheesy IMHO). Sometimes they wear pullover shirts and they just pull those off over their heads.
I think you’d have to run it all the way down. You wouldn’t want the pants to gap when you sat down or walked or anything, which I think they would do if you only ran the velcro 2 inches out of every 6. I don’t know for certain, but this is my hunch.
Munch, your attention should not be toward the amount of velcro, but rather, the type. Some velcro is tougher than others. Have the shop use a thin, not so super heavy duty style of velcro and run it the entire length of the pants. On both the outside and inside seams.
These will* come right off when you want them to. But they won’t accidentally shed, and the full seam velcro will give the allusion of intact seams. If you only have velcro every 6 inches, or buttons or something, one will be able to notice when you walk around or sit.
Trust me. Go with the velcro.
The only trick with velcro would be in making certain it wouldn’t take forever to make yourself presentable when putting them on. It would have to be placed just so, in order to bring this about, and you’d have to make sure that it isn’t the kind that buckles up, and misaligns after several washings. I had a light jacket made from a fleecy sweatshirt, and had the seamstress use velcro on it. It was great for a while, but I guess I got the wrong kind of velcro.
