what are Grits?

oh&s · #1 12-15-2004, 04:58 AM

In my craft grits is the grains in a grinding wheel or on sandpaper, emery cloth, Wet &Dry, diamond paste etc. I can't see you eating that but I'm giggling away thinking about it.
So do this spastic a favour and please tell me, what are they? What's the most humane way to kill it? How to cook im & best way to serve.
I'm curious I'll try it, Thanking you.

Ephemera · #2 12-15-2004, 05:13 AM

Grits is a porridge made from ground hominy, a corn by-product. It's generally a breakfast food and is eaten much the same way as oatmeal or cream of wheat.

I personally prefer sugar and butter in mine but many are quite vocal in believing they should be served with nothing but salt and butter.

bob_loblaw · #3 12-15-2004, 05:15 AM

grits are liberals. and you can't kill them, the old ones just get sent to the senate. ok, they're not all bad (they did give us trudeau) but still, you wouldn't want to eat any; the odds of contamination are high.

Mississippienne · #4 12-15-2004, 05:29 AM

In the days of yore, grits were revered as ambrosia, the food of the Gods. It was said to bestow immortality, ageless beauty, and unrivaled sexual stamina upon all who ingested it. Homer mentions it in the Illiad...

Lo! didst Achilles weep
For the beauty of Helen did fade
When one gazed upon grits.

Grits: nature's perfect food.

WhyNot · #5 12-15-2004, 05:33 AM

This is the thread wherein we discover the Civil War is not over, it's merely on hiatus.

Seriously, I know one or two misguided Yanks who like grits, and that's about it. I think it's something you have to be raised eating to appreciate.
Otherwise, you recognize it for the cooked chicken feed it is.

RumMunkey · #6 12-15-2004, 05:33 AM

Are we still allowed to say "spastic"??

LouisB · #7 12-15-2004, 05:41 AM

What does the Civil War have to do with grits? Why are yankees who like grits misguided? I know yankees who not only eat scrapple but claim to like it. Those yankees are the ones who are misguided, IMHO. Why do you attempt to denigrate southerners while failing to answer a simple question? I thought we were here to fight ignorance, not to demonstrate it.

WhyNot · #8 12-15-2004, 05:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LouisB

What does the Civil War have to do with grits? Why are yankees who like grits misguided? I know yankees who not only eat scrapple but claim to like it. Those yankees are the ones who are misguided, IMHO. Why do you attempt to denigrate southerners while failing to answer a simple question? I thought we were here to fight ignorance, not to demonstrate it.

Thank you for proving my point so aptly and quickly. I was attempting to be humorous in both observing and foretelling the great North / South divide on the issue of grits that always comes up when this question is asked. I apologize for any offense; I was equally teasing to both sides on purpose.

LouisB · #9 12-15-2004, 06:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhyNot

Thank you for proving my point so aptly and quickly. I was attempting to be humorous in both observing and foretelling the great North / South divide on the issue of grits that always comes up when this question is asked. I apologize for any offense; I was equally teasing to both sides on purpose.

I am the one to apologize; I'm a cranky old bastard who failed to see the humor, although I don't know how I managed to miss it. So, I apologize to you in turn.

Faldage · #10 12-15-2004, 06:09 AM

Onliest way to eat grits is with a good runny fried egg on top and attack with vigorous crosswise swipes with a knife and fork till you ain got nothin only a gooey yellowish mess. Or either that or with cheese melted in, one.

oh&s · #11 12-15-2004, 07:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bob_loblaw

grits are liberals. and you can't kill them, the old ones just get sent to the senate. ok, they're not all bad (they did give us trudeau) but still, you wouldn't want to eat any; the odds of contamination are high.

Thanks for enlightening me Fellers,
And thanks for the laughs, particularly this one. Our Prime Minister is a liberal and at present they hold the majority in the senate, so to me it rings like C# on a Bb bell, (bad trumpet joke).
I know what hominey is cause I've fed it to our chooks, and I've eaten enough porridge over the years to make Oliver Twist crook. He'd be begging "please no more"). Hope the produce store has it in small bags and not a 30kilo sack.
So now I've gotta find my copies of Homer sit down and pig out. I will give this a burl, Too right I will.
As for the word spastic I don't give a toss, I'll call myself what I bloody well like. Next we'll have to talk about stills & recipes, I make mine from old milk cans. I like stainless steel, and they end up looking & working like a Hot water system, preasure release valve and all, plugs straight into the garden tap. When the coppers took the last one they kept it, we didn't know you could smell it tru the whole neighbourhood and we couldn't get up of the ground. Talk about a gravity attack.
Anyways thanks again.

Jaade · #12 12-15-2004, 07:24 AM

You have to get the water/grit ratio just right or your grits will come out too dry or too soupy. Grits should NOT be runny. (Eggs yes, grits no).

The directions on the package are generally fairly good as far as ratios go. If it looks too dry after the water has soaked in, add a TAD more at a time, don't add a lot.

Don't make the grits from the little packages if you want the real deal the first time out. Some of them are a decent imitation, but you need the cook on the stovetop ones for your first grit experience.

Liberal amounts of butter and salt and pepper to taste. Voila! Yummy gritty goodness.

Hell, just come down to my house, it's easier to make them for you than go through all this explainin'.

Hypno-Toad · #13 12-15-2004, 07:31 AM

Grts are like southern Tofu. It goes with everything on your breakfast plate and bulks up the more flavorfull parts of breakfast. Nobody really eats it plain and everybody has their own fiercely debated way of eating them. I like mine with sausage or bacon mixed in. But if all else is missing, I will settle for salt and butter.

Apart from my sister, I was the only kid in my high school (Pop. 2,400+) who even knew what grits are, much less that ate them.

oh&s · #14 12-15-2004, 08:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaade

Hell, just come down to my house, it's easier to make them for you than go through all this explainin'.

Thanks for the offer Jaade, but it's a hell of a long walk and yes I will follow your instructions carefully. Just be prepared for my next question on how do I clean up the mess and should I buy a new saucepan.

Ichbin Dubist · #15 12-15-2004, 08:21 AM

Full disclosure: born in New Jersey, lived in Texas for a long stretch. I like grits. And my daughter warmed to them after we read the "Little House" books and I called grits "mush." Sometimes it's all in the presentation.

If the butter-and-salt style doesn't work for you, try the garlic-and-cheese style. Just add a bit of minced garlic and grated parmesan or romano while it's (they're?) cooking. This may sound like Yankee heresy, but I was introduced to this recipe at Threadgill's in Austin, Texas. I admit it's essentially mushy polenta. I don't care.

It's more time-consuming to cook, but you need to buy coarse-grained unprocessed hominy and not the "quick" or (God forbid) "instant" variety. Quick grits are semi-tasteless and instant grits are suitable only for pouring down fire ant holes.

bouv · #16 12-15-2004, 09:21 AM

I see you live in, I'm guessing, England? You might actually have better luck looking for polenta (not neccesarilly cooked and prepared polenta, but a polentas mix.) Or just ground corn meal, since that's what grits are made from.

RM Mentock · #17 12-15-2004, 09:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bouv

I see you live in, I'm guessing, England? You might actually have better luck looking for polenta (not neccesarilly cooked and prepared polenta, but a polentas mix.) Or just ground corn meal, since that's what grits are made from.

Eating polenta or corn meal is like eating grits in the same way that drinking scotch is like eating barley.

Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor · #18 12-15-2004, 09:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oh&s

Now I Knows

And knowing is half the battle.
The other half is choking down the g%d#mn grits.
They are the South's Great Mistake, rivaled only by Pickett's Charge.
And since when does the UK have a Senate?

vetbridge · #19 12-15-2004, 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhyNot

I apologize for any offense; I was equally teasing to both sides on purpose.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LouisB

I am the one to apologize; I'm a cranky old bastard who failed to see the humor, although I don't know how I managed to miss it. So, I apologize to you in turn.

Get a room.

Enright3 · #20 12-15-2004, 09:45 AM

The best for me to describe grits to my non-southern friends...

Surely you've heard of Cream Of Wheat.
Grits is Cream of Corn. (Or Hominy, but I frequently get asked "What's hominy?")

RM Mentock · #21 12-15-2004, 09:48 AM

without the "cream" part

Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor · #22 12-15-2004, 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RM Mentock

without the "cream" part

...and now, with the Miracle Ingredient...

Extra Sand!

Ace309 · #23 12-15-2004, 11:17 AM

According to my father, grits are a sophisticated system for carrying apple butter from the bowl to one's mouth.

yabob · #24 12-15-2004, 11:42 AM

Either grits or corn meal mush can benefit from not actually being eaten immediately, but placed into loaf pans in the fridge. You then cut slices off for frying, and eat with syrup.

Scumpup · #25 12-15-2004, 11:44 AM

Grits are a bland porridge made from hominy. Hominy, in turn, is dried corn (maize) that has been soaked in a lye solution to remove the husk. This has the added benefit of making the niacin in the maize more bio-available. It is popular primarily in the Southern US.

During my brief service with the US Army, I was stationed in Missouri. The mess halls offered grits as part of breakfast on a daily basis. When I lived in Texas, they were also commonly offered in restaurants. Frankly, I don't see why they are the subject of much argument. Grits are a rather bland and inoffensive food, in the same category as oatmeal, cream of wheat, farina, or other hot cereals. They taste mainly of what you put on them.

Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor · #26 12-15-2004, 11:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scumpup

During my brief service with the US Army, I was stationed in Missouri. The mess halls offered grits as part of breakfast on a daily basis. When I lived in Texas, they were also commonly offered in restaurants. Frankly, I don't see why they are the subject of much argument. Grits are a rather bland and inoffensive food, in the same category as oatmeal, cream of wheat, farina, or other hot cereals. They taste mainly of what you put on them.

And when you put nothing on them, they taste like Romulan Emergency Rations. Kudos to the Trekkie who can identify the ST novel that joke came from.
My admiration, if you can also identify the character.

whole bean · #27 12-15-2004, 12:05 PM

must have lots of cheddar cheese and butter and salt, with a side of grilled shrimp or fried catfish and a cold pbr . . . at least that's how we like them on the Gulf Coast . . . yum

Northern Piper · #28 12-15-2004, 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor

And since when does the UK have a Senate?

The UK doesn't.

Canada does.

"Grits" is a nickname for the Liberal Party in Canada.

Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor · #29 12-15-2004, 12:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Northern Piper

The UK doesn't.

Canada does.

"Grits" is a nickname for the Liberal Party in Canada.

Many sorrys.

bughunter · #30 12-15-2004, 01:29 PM

If you are curious and want to try grits, seek out a Denny's Restaurant. They offer grits in place of hash browns with their breakfasts.

At least they do here in SoCal, and it's one of the few places I know of that serve grits in this part of the country.

Here's how you eat them:

Order your eggs over easy or over medium... heck, sunny side up if you like 'em that way. You do NOT want them scrambled or with the yolks broken... you want a runny yolk.

When the plate comes out, Denny's will have put your grits in a bowl. This is OK for now. Ask your server for extra butter. While she brings it, move all the eggs on the plate to one side and put the grits on your plate. Mix all the butter and some salt in with the grits and then put the eggs on top. Add lots of black pepper and a little more salt to the eggs.

Now, take your knife and fork and shred the eggs into the grits. Cut cross hatches across the eggs, kinda like you're cutting up spaghetti for a little kid to eat with a spoon. Make sure the yolk gets mixed in good with the grits, turning them a golden color, and the cooked whites get cut up into bite sized bits.

Now, eat this mixture with a fork. Try to get a bite of egg white in with each bite of golden grits. My sister used to crumble her bacon in with the grits and eggs, but it's not necessary.

That is the only proper southern way to eat hot grits. And it's damn good. Anyone who disses grits hasn't been served proper grits, and I feel sorry for 'em. I get a craving for this at least once a month, and Denny's grits are actually not all that bad.

(It's also traditional to throw a big pot of boiling hot grits on your unfaithful husband when he's least expecting it. But that's not eating 'em...)

Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor · #31 12-15-2004, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bughunter

(It's also traditional to throw a big pot of boiling hot grits on your unfaithful husband when he's least expecting it. But that's not eating 'em...)

No...it's merely kinder than forcing the poor slob to eat them.

Punoqllads · #32 12-15-2004, 01:53 PM

"D' y'all serve grits here?"

"Ma'am, we serve anyone."

"No, no. Hominy grits. Y'all serve hominy grits?"

"We'll serve however many you want, ma'am, but parties over six will have a fifteen percent gratuity added to their check."

barbitu8 · #33 12-15-2004, 02:19 PM

Mixing grits with eggs fried easy is OK, but good grits taste better by itself. If the grits are made right, with plenty of butter and milk, they are sumptous solo. Few places make them right, but the Marina here in Charleston does a great job.

I never thought of grits as a porridge. I've always thought porridge was a type of soup. Grits is more on the order of cream of wheat, only with corn.

wnorthr · #34 12-15-2004, 02:45 PM

I'm with bughunter on the Denny's grits but up here on NoCal if they gave me more butter with my grits I'd need to eat it with a soup spoon.

Born and raised in CT by the way.

Acsenray · #35 12-15-2004, 03:20 PM

I'm a northener myself and I love grits. If you're in the Washington, D.C., area, go to the Hickory Grill (Loehmann's Plaza, U.S. 50, near the I-495 interchange) for Sunday brunch and have their grits. It's the real coarse-ground, slow-cooked stuff and it's great.

spingears · #36 12-15-2004, 06:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bughunter

If you are curious and want to try grits, seek out a Denny's Restaurant. They offer grits in place of hash browns with their breakfasts.

Cracker Barrel also serve grits.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scumpup

Grits are a bland porridge made from hominy. Hominy, in turn, is dried corn (maize) that has been soaked in a lye solution to remove the husk.

To elaborate just a bit. The dried hominy is then ground to the consistency of medium coarse sand.
It is properly termed hominy grits, commonly kna GRITS!

Northern Piper · #37 12-15-2004, 07:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor

Many sorrys.

No need to apologize - no insult taken or intended. Sorry if I seemed gruff - was in a hurry to post and get back to work.

Everything's

rjk · #38 12-15-2004, 07:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bob_loblaw

grits are liberals. and you can't kill them, the old ones just get sent to the senate. ok, they're not all bad (they did give us trudeau) but still, you wouldn't want to eat any; the odds of contamination are high.

I was glad to see this come up so early in the thread. My first thought when I saw the title was to reply "The opposite of Tories, of course!" but now I don't have to.

Thanks!

oh&s · #39 12-15-2004, 08:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor

And knowing is half the battle.
The other half is choking down the g%d#mn grits.
They are the South's Great Mistake, rivaled only by Pickett's Charge.
And since when does the UK have a Senate?

Picketts' charge, I remember studying that at school as a what not to do.
I live in the West Island of New Zealand, you might have heard of it. We call it Australia and didn't we kick those Kiwis in the Test Cricket 2wks ago. All jokes aside I'm determined to try these grits, they must be alright from what I'm reading.

phaishazamkhan · #40 12-15-2004, 08:15 PM

What's the connection between grits and Natalie Portman? I've seen this combination mentioned in online forums but never got the reference.

silenus · #41 12-15-2004, 08:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oh&s

All jokes aside I'm determined to try these grits, they must be alright from what I'm reading.

They are beyond "alright." Good grits are comfort food of the first order. I like mine with salt, pepper, a little butter and a ton of Crystal sauce.

I'm sure we can arrange an International Food Swap after the holidays. I'll send grits and anything else you are wondering about, and you can send things that will keep an Auusie friend of mine from going through withdrawals.

silenus · #42 12-15-2004, 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phaishazamkhan

What's the connection between grits and Natalie Portman? I've seen this combination mentioned in online forums but never got the reference.

See here.

Manduck · #43 12-15-2004, 08:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor

Many sorrys.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Northern Piper

No need to apologize - no insult taken or intended. Sorry if I seemed gruff - was in a hurry to post and get back to work.

Everything's

Get a room.

LSLGuy · #44 12-15-2004, 08:30 PM

Another non-traditional, but still very tasty way to eat them is with some hot chili sauce stirred in. As a native Californian raised far from the Land of Grits With Everything, I've got to say I far prefer grits over oatmeal or any other hot grain cereal. Grits have texture and character; the others are just mush that remind me of phlegm at best.

Sorry about all these other Merkins who couldn't figure you're Aussie and have been going on about local US restaurants. When I saw "Senate" and "Chook" in your second post I had you pegged. Heck the rest of the slang in there was enough to tell anyone you're not a Merkin, even if they had no idea where you were from.

The Asbestos Mango · #45 12-15-2004, 08:53 PM

sory for any splng errs but its hard to type fast with yur beak and if The Mango saw me tryng to us the keyboard shed tak me away so I wont poo on it.

grits are wunnerful. especially when your pet human is sharing thm with yu at brekfast and they have butter and milk and hony on them but ther good plain too.

the bad thing is she puts thm in my food dish and puts me in my cage when she levs for work becus I like them so much I get busy eating and dont notice shes gone until iv finished. her mom usally comes home after a littl while but shes not as fun to play wth as the Mango.

- Shamus

Jplacer · #46 12-16-2004, 12:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ichbin Dubist

It's more time-consuming to cook, but you need to buy coarse-grained unprocessed hominy and not the "quick" or (God forbid) "instant" variety.

I am from the South and went to college in the South. I lived off instant grits, they are perfect for a poor college student with a hangover. Grits is one of the best things to eat with a raging headache and a queasy stomach.