Lovingly dedicated to anti-Masonic tin-foil-hat-or-skullcap-wearers

[WeRSauron]

Okay, listen up you conspiracy theorists! I have had it with you bashing the Freemaons!

No, the Freemasons are not out to destroy Christianity.

No, the Freemasons are not out to destroy Islam.

No, the Freemasons are not out to steal your money.

No, the Freemasons are not out to establish a one-world government.

No, the Freemasons are not out to deprive you of your freedoms.

No, the Freemasons are not out to worship Satan, Lucifer, or anything else evil.

No, the Freemasons are not out to "convert" you.

No, the Freemasons are not out to brainwash you into their ranks.

No, the Freemasons are not out to implant symbols into your brains suggesting their awesome dominance over everything.

No, the Freemasons are not out to save you with their own religion.

No, the Freemasons do not believe they are the straight and right and only path to Heaven or Salvation or God or all of the above.

No, the Freemasons do not control the government of the United States of America.

No, the Freemasons do not control any other government.

No, the Freemasons do not follow Albert Pike or any one authority. (Each Grand Lodge is autonomous; there is no one central, universal, worldwide Masonic authority.)

The biggest thing Freemasons worry about is getting enough recruits to survive all the old Masons dying, so they can run their programs, buildings, and hospitals. The last thing they need to worry about is ruling the world or destroying a religion.

So take off your tin-foil hats (or tin-foil skullcaps) and consider actual facts for once rather than your contrived garbage! (Maybe if I have a bad day I should read your trash, so I can feel good - with "proof" - that we Masons control the universe!)

WRS/Thû - We are a Master Mason (and 32-degree Scottish Rite Mason, and Shriner), and We approve this message (although other Masons and Masonic bodies may not approve this message; void where prohibited; must be 18 years old or older (21 in certain jurisdictions) and male to apply.) This rant was inspired by an actual falsehood-ridden anti-Masonic rant on one of the Muslim message boards We frequent.

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

But...... but my tinfoil hat is so charming and effective!

[jackelope]

*crosses "join Freemasons" off his to-do list...*

[Kythereia]

Hey! My Papa's a Freemason, are you trying to tell me he doesn't do any of that stuff? Are you trying to tell me he's not cool?

[Syntropy]

Originally Posted by WeRSauron

No, the Freemasons are not out to destroy Christianity.

No, the Freemasons are not out to destroy Islam.

No, the Freemasons are not out to steal your money.

No, the Freemasons are not out to establish a one-world government.

No, the Freemasons are not out to deprive you of your freedoms.

No, the Freemasons are not out to worship Satan, Lucifer, or anything else evil.

No, the Freemasons are not out to "convert" you.

No, the Freemasons are not out to brainwash you into their ranks.

No, the Freemasons are not out to implant symbols into your brains suggesting their awesome dominance over everything.

No, the Freemasons are not out to save you with their own religion.

No, the Freemasons do not believe they are the straight and right and only path to Heaven or Salvation or God or all of the above.

No, the Freemasons do not control the government of the United States of America.

No, the Freemasons do not control any other government.

HA!! I see you SPECIFICALLY left out "The Freemansons are not helping aliens abduct human females in order to breed a super race which will take over the world" !! Caught you!

My dad was a mason. My grandfather, too. I was always kinda jealous I couldn't be.

[WeRSauron]

Maureen - there's always the Eastern Star, with its own very cool upside-down star so you can be the target of nonsensical accusations too!

WRS - where's the world domination the Freemasons promised me? Oh, you mean they were the Trilateral Illuminati UN Commission? Oooops.

[kambuckta]

So, if they're only involved in *programs* (whatever the hell they might be) and construction and hospitals, why the need for so much secrecy about their activities then?

Is it just overgrown boys playing Boy's Club stuff? If so, why should we take them seriously at all.

[NDP]

They do not control the British crown?

They do not hold the metric system down?

[Tracy Lord]

Nor do they, it seems, keep Atlantis off the maps.

Nor the Martians under wraps -- as evidenced by fine documentaries like Signs and The X-Files.

[PaulFitzroy]

You left out the most important part: the Zionist-Freemason alliance. Can I take its absence from your list to mean that you do not deny it?

[WeRSauron]

kambuckta - you got it.

I do not think anyone can give the real reason how secrecy came about and why it should remain, but I would suppose that the reason it continues to exist is because of tradition. Masons take pride in the "fact" that their rules, rituals, and even wording go back centuries, supposedly without change. The real origin of many things in Freemasonry has been lost.

But they're not hiding anything. For what it's worth, you can find out everything online or in books. Plenty of people have "exposed" Freemasonry's rituals.

It's just men getting together, doing their rituals, then doing what really matters: building and running hospitals, offering scholarships, and other charitable works.

WRS/Thû

[infamousmom]

Nah, the only thing Freemasons do is wear hats that were banned in Turkey a few generations ago and drive silly looking mini cars in holiday parades. Not a threat to the world, those guys. About all they could do is run over you while they're doing donuts in the intersection.

Oh, and they still think they've got something to hide from the gals.

[infamousmom]

Originally Posted by Maureen

My dad was a mason. My grandfather, too. I was always kinda jealous I couldn't be.

You can be a Mason. My grandmother was. Do a Google search on "masons le droit humain" and you'll see.

[WeRSauron]

Actually, there are lodges of Masons that admit men and women. There's a term for them, but I can't recall it.

However, I don't they're recognized my many Grand Lodges. Maybe if most Masons were young and willing to let go of tradition this would change.

WRS

[Marley23]

Originally Posted by infamousmom

Nah, the only thing Freemasons do is wear hats that were banned in Turkey a few generations ago and drive silly looking mini cars in holiday parades. Not a threat to the world, those guys. About all they could do is run over you while they're doing donuts in the intersection.

I think that's the Shiners.

Originally Posted by WeRSauron

No, the Freemasons are not out to destroy Christianity.

No, the Freemasons are not out to destroy Islam.

No, the Freemasons are not out to steal your money.

No, the Freemasons are not out to establish a one-world government.

No, the Freemasons are not out to deprive you of your freedoms.

No, the Freemasons are not out to worship Satan, Lucifer, or anything else evil.

No, the Freemasons are not out to "convert" you.

No, the Freemasons are not out to brainwash you into their ranks.

No, the Freemasons are not out to implant symbols into your brains suggesting their awesome dominance over everything.

No, the Freemasons are not out to save you with their own religion.

No, the Freemasons do not believe they are the straight and right and only path to Heaven or Salvation or God or all of the above.

No, the Freemasons do not control the government of the United States of America.

No, the Freemasons do not control any other government.

Yeah, like you're gonna admit to it.

[WeRSauron]

It's the Shriners.

WRS - who is one.

[Scissorjack]

So who made Steve Gutenberg a star?

[Marley23]

Originally Posted by WeRSauron

It's the Shriners.

WRS - who is one.

There you go. So, you're a double agent?

[Cerri]

Pfft...you had me right up till the part where only men can apply.

My mom always said that any "boys-only" club was either up to no good, or an excuse to do stupid things where women can't see and give them shit about it, and that either way, if their wives knew what they were doing, they'd probably be in trouble for doing it.

(I'm not sure what she meant, but these days I always picture the "gentlemens' clubs" from Jeeves and Wooster *grin*)

[MXR90]

Originally Posted by kambuckta

So, if they're only involved in *programs* (whatever the hell they might be) and construction and hospitals, why the need for so much secrecy about their activities then?

Is it just overgrown boys playing Boy's Club stuff? If so, why should we take them seriously at all.

You don't have to, you can always just fuck off and leave people be and do your own thing (whatever the hell that may be). :wally

[MXR90]

Originally Posted by Cerri

Pfft...you had me right up till the part where only men can apply.

My mom always said that any "boys-only" club was either up to no good, or an excuse to do stupid things where women can't see and give them shit about it, and that either way, if their wives knew what they were doing, they'd probably be in trouble for doing it.

(I'm not sure what she meant, but these days I always picture the "gentlemens' clubs" from Jeeves and Wooster *grin*)

Your mommy is paranoid, learn from it and stray away from sexist remarks and allow men the same respect you would like in return. Now there's an idea!

[MXR90]

Originally Posted by Marley23

I think that's the Shiners.


Yeah, like you're gonna admit to it.

Why admit to anything, and lose the joy of watching you jam your tinfoil hat over your head and spin the little propellar? Not a chance.,

[LouisB]

Originally Posted by infamousmom

Nah, the only thing Freemasons do is wear hats that were banned in Turkey a few generations ago and drive silly looking mini cars in holiday parades. Not a threat to the world, those guys. About all they could do is run over you while they're doing donuts in the intersection.

Oh, and they still think they've got something to hide from the gals.

First, you are talking about Shriners. Shriners are Masons but all Masons are not Shriners.

As to hiding something from the gals, I wouldn't touch that one for anything.

[Paul in Qatar]

Yep, nowadays the Trilateralists get to do all the fun stuff.

[Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor]

The Freemasons are trying to steal my Teddy Bear, Mr. Snuggles. <sucks thumb>

[caveman]

So you mean that From Hell was FICTION???

[Metacom]

Be that as it may, you DO keep the metric system down!

[The Great Sun Jester]

WeRSauron, you sneaky fucker! No WAY am I taking off my tinfoil hat just because you say to! Think I'm stoopid?

It's not the Mason's that are the problem, it's The Other Organization. yeah, you know the one! And I'm onto you now!



:: ponders how to apply additional mustard to tinfoil hat without removing it ::

[Scumpup]

The wife of a high ranking Mason once told me that they have sex with goats as part of their lodge rituals. She was a woman utterly devoid of humor, too, and unlikely to make something like this up for sport.
I don't know for sure if they are goat-fuckers, but it does seem to explain why Masonic Lodge buildings here in the US don't seem to have windows.

[BubbaDog]

Originally Posted by WeRSauron

I do not think anyone can give the real reason how secrecy came about and why it should remain, but I would suppose that the reason it continues to exist is because of tradition.

I had assumed that secrecy came about from its origins. At the start of Freemasonry the Church was the law and controled all wealth. In part, the Freemasons were a reaction to the Church's big brother operations. Freemasons kept their meetings, memberships, and money secret. To divulge anything would bring the wrath of inquisitions. The Freemasons recognized religion, but banded together to oppose the Church's role in oppressive government.
It seems to me that Freemasons, like many fraternal organizations, maintain secret rituals as a tradition of recognizing the risks their founders took.

There are a lot of affiliated organizations - Eastern Star, Order of DeMolay, Job's Daughters. I had membership in Demolay and found the ritualism to be somewhat silly but I never saw how it was at all malicious. In fact, I recognized it as traditional rituals.

But all of these organizations are off limits for Catholics and some Protastants. Not banned by Freemasonry, but forbidden by their church leaders. The reason? Some churches maintain that its congregation should hold no secrets from its leaders (Ex: Catholicism and Confession) and Freemasons must promise to reveal nothing of their secrets to anyone who is not a Freemason. So a Freemason cannot confess any Masonic activities to a priest.

And Scumpup, I think that you should seek help for your goat problem. You don't need to project your perversions to others.


Bubbadog
Who, by the way, never was a Fremason.

[GrizzRich]

I, like you BubbaDog am a Senior DeMolay. But never did petition the Masonic Lodge.




Guess their mind-control and indoctrination had no effect on ME!

BWAAA-HAAAH-HAAA-HAAAAAAAA........

[Scumpup]

Bubbadog,
Reading comprehension not your strong suit? I reported what the wife of a Mason told me. Why that should provoke your response, I have no idea; other than perhaps that you are a piece of shit so worthless that real shit would take the time to scrape you off its shoes. Or maybe it's that, though you took pains to point out your non-Masonic status, you have a relative who is/was a lodge member. The image of your daddy/grandpappy humping a goat was something you found disturbing (or peculiarly exciting) and, thus, you had to make yourself feel better by accusing me of projection.
Either way, your opinion is worth what I paid for it.

[Greathouse]

Originally Posted by Scumpup

Bubbadog,
Reading comprehension not your strong suit? I reported what the wife of a Mason told me. Why that should provoke your response, I have no idea; other than perhaps that you are a piece of shit so worthless that real shit would take the time to scrape you off its shoes. Or maybe it's that, though you took pains to point out your non-Masonic status, you have a relative who is/was a lodge member. The image of your daddy/grandpappy humping a goat was something you found disturbing (or peculiarly exciting) and, thus, you had to make yourself feel better by accusing me of projection.
Either way, your opinion is worth what I paid for it.

Ahhh.....The holidays. Can't you just feel the love?

[BubbaDog]

As is your opinion Scumpup

You come up with some "straight shooting woman told me her husband fucks goats and she has no sense of humor" story. HAS NO SENSE OF HUMOR?!?!

IF she's telling the truth her husband is FUCKING a GOAT fer chrisakes! She better have some fucking humor!

I'm amazed that you are lashing back at my response. It tells me that you're such a stupid fucker that you swallowed her bullshit hook, line and sinker. Either that or the Masons wouldn't let you in and you're tossing bullshit.

In either case, the fact that you like to bring up goat fucking says worlds about you.

Do they have clinics for your sickness?

[BubbaDog]

Originally Posted by Greathouse

Ahhh.....The holidays. Can't you just feel the love?

Warm and fuzzy


That's fuzzy, not furry, like Scumpup likes it

[Sean Factotum]

Originally Posted by BubbaDog

But all of these organizations are off limits for Catholics and some Protastants. Not banned by Freemasonry, but forbidden by their church leaders. The reason? Some churches maintain that its congregation should hold no secrets from its leaders (Ex: Catholicism and Confession) and Freemasons must promise to reveal nothing of their secrets to anyone who is not a Freemason. So a Freemason cannot confess any Masonic activities to a priest.

And Scumpup, I think that you should seek help for your goat problem. You don't need to project your perversions to others.


Bubbadog

The off-limits part sounds odd to me. A friend of mine, who is a devout Catholic, offered to sponsor me as a member (if I would have moved back home.)
I guess the Catholics are about as centrally organzied about things as the Freemasons.

And we have our own goat-themed rites here at SDMB, so lighten up. None of you complained when you had to, well, you know...

[Scumpup]

That's fuzzy, not furry, like Scumpup likes it

Just can't let go of it, hey? That image of grandpa burned into your mind's eye? Still trying to make it somehow my fault that you apparently come from a family of goatfuckers?
Well, 'tis the season and it costs me nothing to let you try to process through such a shocking revelation about your own family.

Tell you what, though, if they serve cabrito where you live, I'd avoid it if I were you. You wouldn't want to end up eating a relative's "special friend" by mistake.

[neuroman]

Scumpup, you're pathetic. Quit while you're behind.

Since we're talking about Freemasonry, I'd like to recommend the movie The Man Who Would Be King (Sean Connery, Michael Caine) to all who have not seen it. It's excellent.

[Cat Whisperer]

Dammit, *I* never did nothing with no goats when I signed up. THAT'S why I'm not in the inner sacred circle...

Scumpup, I read your post the same as Bubba. I think you got your leg good and thoroughly pulled by this "humorless" woman. And you might look into calming down a little, too.

[Scumpup]

Neuroman,
I've looked back over my posts, and just as I suspected, I didn't requisition a random asshole to jump into my little discussion with Bubbagoat. So, now that you've made yourself feel important with that thoughtful post, you can jump back out again.
The woman said what she said. Her personality was what it was. You and Bubba can turn all the venom on me that you like, and those facts won't change.

[BubbaDog]

Originally Posted by Scumpup

Neuroman,
The woman said what she said. Her personality was what it was. You and Bubba can turn all the venom on me that you like, and those facts won't change.

The only facts that are apparent are that you either bought her story or you made it up.

But don't kid yourself. When you jump into a discussion and call the people in an organization goat fuckers its pretty obvious whose turning on the venom first.

You can dish it out (poorly I might add) but you can't take it.

[Bean Counter]

Originally Posted by Sean Factotum

The off-limits part sounds odd to me. A friend of mine, who is a devout Catholic, offered to sponsor me as a member (if I would have moved back home.)

The Catholic Church and Freemasons have had an adversarial past. In reading the newadvent.com enty on Freemasons, it says, "In view of these several reasons Catholics since 1738 are, under penalty of excommunication, incurred ipso facto, and reserved to the pope, strictly forbidden to enter or promote in any way Masonic societies." That entry is from the 1913-1915 Catholic Encyclopedia, so the decrees are probably still in force but I would question their current rate of enforcement.

Besides, I thought they were not allowed to recruit. You know, "2B1ask1"?

[The Great Sun Jester]

Scumpup, you're being a bit of a jerk. I know this is the Pit and all, and that lines of decency here are kinda vague, but while your anecdote is simply what it is, your concluding comment suggests that you would indeed call Masons "Goat Fuckers" who build windowless meeting halls so as to indulge their...preferences...beyond the reach of prying eyes. At that point you endorsed the assertion indicated in your anecdote.

This endorsement was offensive, and BubbaDog delivered a comparatively mild rebuff which seems to have relieved you completely of your senses.

Shut the fuck up about it already. you were being a smartass and you got busted. Deal with it. I don't believe you'll find allies to say me nay.

[vetbridge]

Originally Posted by BubbaDog

IF she's telling the truth her husband is FUCKING a GOAT fer chrisakes! She better have some fucking humor!

They don't do it with a goat
they don't do it on a boat.

[bump]

So how does one become a Mason, Scumpup's fantasies aside? I've always been kind of curious- my grandfather was a Mason, and I've never known much about it- other than some Eastern Star stuff my grandmother had around, it wasn't a topic of conversation. But at his funeral, a bunch of old guys in aprons and stuff showed up and did the Masonic funeral rites, and this piqued my curiosity.

[scout1222]

In regards to the "off limits" thing - if you're not devout and apt to follow that particular teaching then you can join. You're not actually prevented by anyone from joining.

Kind of like "yeah, I'm Catholic but I'm on the pill and having sex before I get married" kind of thing.

-scout, one-time Job's Daughter

[WeRSauron]

Becoming a Mason is easy and painless. Find your nearest lodge, tell them you want to petition, fill out the form, hand it in, be interviewed (they ask a few questions, you can ask questions too), and within a few weeks you're initiated as an Entered Apprentice Mason, a few weeks later you're passed as a Fellowcraft Mason, and a few weeks later you're finally raised as a Master Mason. Voila!

If you need more help or info, email me.

WRS/Thû

[Miller]

Originally Posted by Scumpup

Neuroman,
I've looked back over my posts, and just as I suspected, I didn't requisition a random asshole to jump into my little discussion with Bubbagoat. So, now that you've made yourself feel important with that thoughtful post, you can jump back out again.

Such requistions are implicit in posting to a public messageboard. Jackass.

-Miller
Random Asshole
Not a Freemason

[usar_jag]

Originally Posted by bump

So how does one become a Mason?

It depends on the Masonic jurisdiction in which you reside. Most jurisdictions have rules prohibiting Masons from actively soliciting members. So, the easiest way to join is to find a Mason, and ask for a petition to join. If you don't know of any Masons, contact the Grand Lodge in your state, or a local "blue lodge." A member will be glad to get the petitioning process started.

I joined the Masons several years ago, and am not an active member of my lodge. I'm glad I joined, though. I met some quality people.

As to the conspiracy theorists: If the Masons were really trying to take over the world, I would have a much better job!

[dropzone]

Originally Posted by WeRSauron

If you need more help or info, email me.

But if all you are saying is not true about the Masons really ISN'T true, then why bother? But I'm assuming you are too low-ranking to know about the GOOD stuff.

Originally Posted by The Associated Press, May 23, 1981

[b

Justice Minister Quits in Scandal Over Masonic Lodge[/b]

ROME - Justice Minister Adolfo Sarti resigned today after his name was linked to a Masonic lodge that prosecutors are investigating as a possible "criminal association."

The widening lodge scandal has led to the arrest of a former colonel in the Italian secret service and threatened Premier Arnaldo Forlani's 7-month-old coalition government.

Italian newspapers and magazines have alleged that the so-called "P2" lodge was involved in a variety of illegal activities ranging from bribery and tax evasion in the oil industry to a far-reaching plot to set up an authoritarian regime in Italy.

The names of top politicians, businessmen, publishers, diplomats and military officers were on a list of 953 lodge members Forlani released to the press two days ago under pressure from Parliament. Two cabinet members were on the list: Minister of Foreign Commerce Enrico Manca, a Socialist, and Labor Minister Franco Foschi, a Christian Democrat.

Sarti, who has helped direct Italy's battle against terrorism, was not named, but documents found in the home of the lodge's grand master reportedly says he was a candidate for membership.

On Friday, Milan prosecutor Pierluigi Dell'Osso issued an arrest warrant for Grand Master Licio Gelli on charges of political espionage and the procuring of information on state security. Gelli is listed as a fugitive outside Italy.

A parliamentary committee investigating the case has said it suspects the lodge helped stage the phony kidnapping of Italian financier Michele Sindona in 1979.

Sindona is currently serving a 25-year prison term in the United States after being convicted on 65 counts of fraud in the collapse of the Franklin National Bank. He is also being tried on charges of staging an 11-week kidnapping before his fraud trial.

Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera:

http://www.atheists.org/flash.line/vatican2.htm
http://sfbg.com/nessie/35.html
http://www.guardian.co.uk/italy/stor...101410,00.html

As you can see, suspecting the Masons is FAR more fun than actually being one.

(putting on my tinfoil fez)