An associate gave a salesman my name and number.
As if I don’t have too much to do now, being the Tech Guy and the fucking Sys Admin.
“Hello, Plant. So-in-so gave me your name.”
Being raised Southern it is physically impossible for me to be impolite.
[Son of a bitch!] Er, yeah?
“What kind of printers do you have there, Lexmarks?”
No. [I’m working on three damn PCs at the same time in two different rooms, can you make your speil and get this shit over with?]
“HPs? Inkjets? Lasers?”
Yeah [ass wipe] I have some HP 2100s.
“2100, those are Laser”
No [asshole] they’re inkjets.
“Oh so they are. You sure you don’t have any Lexmarks?”
Well, yeah Z12s? [that some asshole donated, they cost more than the inkcarts]
“If you’ll holdon for a moment, I can get you a good price!”
Sure [WTF??? You call me to sell me something and put me on fucking hold?]
He puched the hold button and I hang up. Cocksucker.
When I worked for a big ol’ office supply company, we used to see this sort of thing a lot. Our customers, (most of whom “didn’t pay” for toner, as it was included in the cost of their service contracts,) would often end up with fake toner, or toner that had been purchased from us (at already extortionate prices) and resold to them at ridiculous rates, or double-billed, or whatever. They often didn’t even bother to take the packing tape with our company name and number on it off, which created an extra level of confusion.
Many times it would come to our attention when bottles were filled cheap, totally non-compatible toner, which totally wrecked the copiers, requiring a service call that wasn’t covered by the contract. Sucks all around.
In fairness to your associate, he may not have actually given your name out. The bitch toner salesman may just have gotten his name and used it as a hook to try and get your attention.
I think it isn’t “bitch toner”, but “Toner Bitch.”
I need a Toner Bitch.
Toner Bitch!
“Yes Sir, Mr. Plant, Sir!”
Mrs Smith emailed “I need ink for my printer”. Since the school buses are running and you can’t drive a car on campus, walk half a mile to Middle School and find out whose printer she moved to her room this week. Note the property number with the ink cart numbers so we can update our inventory. Walk back here, get the ink and walk back. She’s printing report cards, and she will die if she has to print a black and white document without color ink. Run along, I have fifteen hard drives to reformat.
I use to get those calls until I started putting them on speaker and telling them to call back and ask for “Mr. Meoff. First name Jack. Now repeat the name for me so I know you got it right.” They would, and hillarity would pursue.
There’s a whole wing of hell reserved for these people. One of the times I hung up on them, the guy called me back and said, “DON’T YOU EVER HANG UP ON ME AGAIN!” in a really scary, menacing way.
I had somebody do this. He said “It’s very rude of you to hang up on me.”
I turend right around with “It’s very rude of you to call me and try to sell me stuff I don’t need when this is a not-for-profit charity, trying to save babies. We don’t have an extra dime, it all goes to the babies. Would you like to donate?”
“Kind of printer? Why, it’s a Classico Prismatic, custom made for us in Rome, cost $50,000. It prints in 6,000 different colors, including MacKenzie plaid. I doubt you have toner for us. No, really. The toner comes in these 5-gallon drums that weigh a ton. We’ve lost two toner refiller-men due to hernias. They’re currently suing us, so I don’t think we can legally buy from another supplier until the lawsuit is settled.”
I work for a company where the company name is the name of the guy who owns it. For example, our company owner is John Smith, and the name of the company is John Smith Insurance Brokers.
These bottom feeders will call up and ask for him! Why yes, the president and owner of our company would like nothing more than to hear you extoll the virtues of your toner, and be put on hold while you get him “a good price”. Jackassesses. At least ask for whoever handles that sort of thing (which will get you wereveryhappywiththeservicewehave click).
We have a crack team of stenographers with manual typewriters to do all our printing work. It’s cheaper than toner, easier to maintain and also saves us money on piping in Muzak!
