No, "Jackie" you may NOT know what kind of printer I'm using.

The BBQ Pit
1

God DAMN telemarketers.

So here’s the story…

This pleasant sounding woman calls up, (and, as I later find out) asks operations who handles the computers/printers/things that plug in for our agency. The pleasant sounding woman comes to me…

Then she launches into her script.
Telemarketer Twat: “Hey, this is Jackie”

Me: “Hello Jackie, what can I do for you?”

TT: “You know that printer you have in there, next to you?”

Me: “Yes, what about it”

TT: “I just need the model number off of it because my boss…”

Me: “Hold it ‘Jackie’ I’m not giving you any such thing, I don’t even know who you are, who do you work for?”

TT: “Whoa, my boss just told me to call and get the model number”

Me: “Jackie, I manage every printer in the place. Me. I don’t know what your “Boss”, who and or what that is, needs with the printer model number, but you ain’t gettin it.”

TT: “It’s just that my boss needs…”

Me: “JACKIE! Listen closely. If you want to sell me ink or toner, that’s cool, and really it doesn’t matter if you know what model my printers are, but this little marketing thing is deceptive, and if I can’t trust you not to lie to me from the first time I call, why on EARTH would I buy anything from you?”

TT: “Maybe I should have my boss call you”

Me: “Maybe you should.”

I mean, this must work or else they wouldn’t keep doing it, but WTF? Who markets like this?

2

It’s a scam, one we’ve discussed not too long ago. Expect a large shipment of toner cartridges with an astronomical price on the invoice.

I’ll see if I can did the recent thread up.

3

ooh! That would be neat. I’ll send the entire thing over to the State’s Atty. They have a real thing about attempting to defraud a government agency.

4

Dig it up. Dig.

Here ya go.

5

Sounds like the same people who call my cell phone, and leave messages about my student loan account. And how I’m going to be late, filling out important paperwork to keep my current rates!
Last week I got a call (another voice mail) from a woman who was trying to reach “Sarah” at apartment 6 in my building! And it was urgent - then left an 800 number to call back. This might have seemed legit, except for a few things:

  1. There is no apartment 6 in my building, they’re not numbered that way.

  2. My cell number is not linked to my address, it’s linked to my parent’s address (I pay it, but they get a discount through work so until my current contract is up, the bills go to their house).

  3. My parents’ house, being a house, also does not have an apartment 6.

6

gracias Duke! That thread cracked me up.

7

Which in turn leads to this even older rant on the same subject. Amazing that this scam is still making the rounds.

8

“The model number of my printer…it’s umm. 2, yea 2, that’s the ticket”

9

I get those calls all the time at the office where I work. Sometimes they ask for the model number of our copier, and sometimes they ask for the printer model.

Either way, the conversation goes like this:

TeleMarketer: Hi, this is Debra with Whatever, Inc., how are you today?

Me: Fine, how are you?

TM: I’m great! Thank you for asking! I was just calling you to find out what model copier you use.

Me: We shop locally for supplies for our copier.

TM: ::click::

10

Last time I got a call like that, I told them the model of my family’s old–and no longer existing–Epson dot matrix printer. I mean, sure, you can still buy dot matrix printers for some applications, but trust me, no one makes ribbons for a 20 year-old consumer-level dot matrix printer.

11

I got one of those the other day. I do QA for a video game company. It’s pretty much the very lowest rung on the totem pole in this office. The fact that I’ve got a phone at all is a bit of an anomaly. I almost didn’t answer it at all when it rang, because who the hell needs to call me? Friends and family have my cell number if they need to get me at work. So I pick it up, and I get the following:

Asshole: Hi, I’m from XXX, I’m calling about your toner replacement contract with us.

Me: (Yeah, right, suuuure you are.) I’m sorry, you got the wrong guy. This is the QA department.

Asshole: Oh, I’m sorry, can you connect me to the right department?

Me: Uh, sorry, I’m not sure what department that would be. (A lie, but if he doesn’t already know, he doesn’t need to talk to them.)

Asshole: Okay, can you connect me to the front desk. then?

Me: Sorry, I don’t know that number. (True: when the hell do I ever need to call the front desk? If I’m sick or running late, I call my manager directly.)

Asshole: (In a real snotty voice) Do you know anything?

Me: Nope! I don’t know a damn thing! I’m totally incompetent, yet they continue to pay me!

Asshole: <click>
Got some funny looks from my co-workers who overheard my end of the conversation for that one.

12

My hero :slight_smile:

(Plus I loved the story about the game developer getting called a noob online and pwning the gamers, a classic.)

13

“My model number? Sure! Make sure you write this down. OK, Ready? It’s ID-10-t. Goodbye.” click

14

Add me to the line of adoring fans. :slight_smile:

15

Wouldn’t it be possible to just keep the toner they send you, and not pay for it? I mean, you didn’t order it… and if you’re the Guy What’s In Charge of those sorts of payments (and you’re certain nobody would pay the artificially-inflated bill behind your back), couldn’t you just view it as a free source of toner?

“Oh, you wanted us to PAY you for those toners you sent us? The ones we didn’t actually order? The ones that you priced about three times higher than any legitimate business? We thought those were a gift!”

16

You would only want to keep it for the fuck-you value to the scammer, because the cartrridges are commonly reloads and shitty.

17

Folks, next time they call tell them the model number of the printer you have at home. That way you can get some free ink for it, you know how expensive printer ink can be…

18

hee hee… “Does your mother know you lie for a living?” :slight_smile:

19

Wait. What? Where?

Point, please.

20

The problem with this comes in at larger offices. The person answering the phone/accepting the packages often isn’t the one paying the bills. So the toner comes in and the receptionist puts it in the supply room. Then the bill comes in the mail. Accounting sees a bill, sees a note that the package arrived, and doesn’t connect with the fact that they are being billed 10x normal going rate, because they just pay bills, they don’t order toner.