As some of you may recall, my husband SuaSponte is the proud owner of a '79 Cadillac Sedan de Ville . He’s had the car for a few years now, and the fun of it is more or less gone. Recently he got a new car, so the Caddy was sitting, undriven, in our condo parking lot.
A few weeks before Christmas, as the snowbirds were flocking to their winter condos in our complex, we got a phone call from one of our neighbors asking us to move the car. We were told it was in the parking space of someone who was coming down for the season. No worries, we moved it to the back of the lot, where no one parks. At this time, I also let the caller know that we’re planning to get rid of the car. A few weeks later, we get a second call, asking us to move the car again. Some construction is scheduled and the car will be in the way. Again, we move the car, to a space even further back in the lot.
Then, last week, we get a letter from the condo board claiming that they’ve asked us to remove the car from the lot on several occasions, and that if we don’t, they’ll have it towed at our expense. Our landlord is CCed.
I saw red. No one has asked us to remove the car from the lot, first of all. Secondly, there’s nothing in the condo rules or our lease that specifies how many cars we’re allowed to have. Thirdly, there are plenty of empty spaces in the lot, even at the height of the season. Finally, the car is parked in a spot where no one ever parks, far from anyone’s door.
Sua calls the landlord, who is just as perplexed (and annoyed) as we are. The landlord calls someone on the board. Turns out, they’re concerned that the car has no plates on it. Aha! Now this makes sense, though it would have been nice if they’d just asked us to get tags on the car, rather than a) lying to us and b) threatening us. So we get temporary tags, and have every intention of donating the car to the American Lung Association within the month.
And then, today, I hear a knock on the door. An elderly neighbor introduces himself and asks when we’re getting rid of the car. I tell him I don’t know and he tells me we’re only allowed one car per unit in the complex. Wrong, asshole. I just re-read the condo association rules and our lease. There’s nothing in either about how many cars we’re allowed to have. I tell him this. He makes up some bullshit about how the board has bent the rules to let us have more than one car. I calmly explain that we both have jobs and that we need two cars. He asks again when we’re getting rid of the Caddy. I reply, coldly, that I don’t know. He says, “Well, have a nice day,” and I say, “You too,” and slam the door.
Who the hell do these nosy, cantankerous coots think they are? They have nothing better to do all day than sit at home worrying about the cars in their empty lot? It wasn’t enough to send a threatening letter, now I get a harassing visit? I don’t fucking think so. I’m half tempted to put plates on the car, take the tires off and prop the damn thing up on cinderblocks in the lot. Hey, there’s nothing in the in the rules or the lease that prevents it.
