Yep. It’s sadly true. I used to work for the Miss Cleo psychic hotline. Ever been curious about such things? Here’s your chance to ask.
Did you or Miss Cleo ever get a vision of your collective careers hitting the wall harder than Mr. Magoo playing jai alai?
Well, FWIW, consider yourself not alone.
Here’s a question for you. Did you take your readings seriously or were you acting? Meaning, were your readings truly impressions (call it psychic impressions, intuition, feelings or whatever) or just whatever script or impromptu guess worked for you at the time?
Did you use any divination tools during your readings?
Good money?
Seriously how did you live with yourself?
You knew (I assume) that you weren’t psychic and that some of these people would’ve been deluded enough to believe what you said.
Did you have a standard line that you could not cross (ie no bad premonitions)?
Did you have a script to follow or did you just say whatever popped into your head?
It, uh, wasn’t a career. It was something to do while unemployed and looking for a reputable job. It isn’t on my resume or anything (would you see a therapist who once was a phone psychic? I thought not).
I stopped after a few weeks when the bastards didn’t pay me. So it was sort of like an amusing and shameful volunteer gig.
Maybe we should have a support group for our shame.
A bit from column A, a bit from column B.
I used tarot cards. I’m quite good at them in person actually. If you are in the Bay area, you should drop by.
I didn’t make a blooming cents. The bastards stiffed me.
No script.
Most people just wanted to be heard and comiserated with. A lot were pretty lonely.
Some were just curious.
Let’s be real about who actually calls these things. Mainly the lonely, the curious, and the incredibly stupid.
The lonely just wanted to chat. I chatted. Sometimes I suggested therapy, singles groups, whatever.
The curious got tarot readings that may or may not have been accurate.
The stupid would call and pay $3.99/minute to ask where they’d left their $10 watch and whether they were pregnant. The pregnant girl I said “yes” to (50/50 shot, right?). Turns out, she was 3 months late on her period and had been having much unprotected sex. :eek: A psychic really wasn’t what she needed.
Some people were really dumb. They’d put he on hold to answer the door, use the bathroom, get a snack, whatever. I’d been put on for 20 minutes at a time. At $3.99/minute! I never understood these people…
No medical advice. No telling people in obviously bad scenes/abusive relationships/etc that it would be OK and they should stay with the asshole. I’d tell 'em to run like hell.
What are you wearing?
maroon track pants, raisin coloured stretch t-shirt, nipple soothing lotion. And not a damn thing else. 
Can I have my money back? I never got hit by that bus like you said I would.
Seriously, were the perverts ever a problem? An ex-girlfriend used to have a similar gig, doing Tarot readings over the phone {while I was giglling in the background, much to her annoyance}, and the heavy breathers used to call a fair bit.
So it was sorta like posting advice on the Straight Dope, huh?
I read tarot*, too, and most of the people who ask just want readings for fun’s sake, not for any real advice or guidance. When someone’s obviously very troubled or puts too much stock in the “answers” I won’t even do a reading, I just send them to a doctor, therapist, whatever. There’s a fair amount of common sense involved – but some people would prefer that their daily dose of common sense come from an “expert” and they place psychics and readers (and Dear Abby) in that category.
(*disclaimer - I have found the cards to be fairly accurate for myself, but it’s entirely possible that I’m merely reinforcing my own “common sense” when I do readings.)
Oh yeah?
Now tell me what I’m wearing!
Thanks for your reply, inkleberry. Yes, I read tarot from time to time, but it wasn’t me who did phone readings (I don’t know if he’s embarassed about it) and not for Miss Cleo, thankfully. No pay? Those bastids!
Surely, you had callers that insisted on speaking with Miss Cleo. Did you ever try to fake her? That’s probably what I would have done. Well, if they were paying me. Any callers get extremely upset that they didn’t get Miss Cleo? Oh yeah, and what was your psychic name?
This is fun, BTW. 
It’s certainly a fascinating glimpse into another world (so to speak).
Would you be able to testify if there was a court case for fraud?
If you were so psychic, how come you didn’t know they were gonna stiff ya?
Tell me what I’m wearing! 
Seriously, what do you think of real-life ‘psychics’–people who claim to have actual extrasensory powers? Do you think it could be for real?
If they had paid you, how long would you have stayed?
Does any call stick out a really intersting?
Did you work in a phone center or did they forward the calls to your place? Did you meet any of the other psychics and did they think they had abilities?
Should I call first, or will you know when I’m coming
Seriously, hope to see you at the next local dopefest.