Stick to your IMHO / Cafe Society inanity if you can't handle GQ

[spinky]

My Very First Pit Thread
by ntucker, age <mumble, mumble>

Once upon a time there was a thread about Pool. It was in the General Questions forum, and spurred a fairly detailed discussion of variations on pool rules (official BCA rules versus "bar rules" being the thrust of the discussion after a bit). Dopers across the land were happily throwing in their two cents about their experiences with bar rules, and how and why they differ from BCA.

CurtC, a BCA rules type of guy, expressed some surprise that lots of bar rules type of folk aren't even familiar with the BCA rules he prefers. To further the discussion, he decided to sum up the main differences (from memory and stated as such, mind you) between bar rules and BCA rules. One of his points was that in BCA pool, there's no worrying about what's the "honorable" shot to take, which is nice because in bar rules, varying definitions of what shots are "honorable" can cause disagreements. His post was very helpful and, as far as your humble narrator could see, about as correct as could be expected given the ever-changing nature of bar rules.

Little did he realize that Large Marge is a bar rules player and finds BCA players to be "sissies." Realizing that this mild insult might be written off as good-natured ribbing, she decided that she needed more animosity if she was going to successfully start a fight. "You official rules players think you're soooooo high and mighty," she seemed to shout, betraying her deep-seated insecurities and general shit-headed nature, "why do you have to look down on us bar rules folks?", ignoring the fact that nobody had done anything of the sort. Then, in order to cement her nomination for Asshole of the Thread, she decided to "correct" CurtC's list in a rather rude fashion, ignoring the fact that she simply read it wrong, and he was, in fact, not misrepresenting her beloved bar rules. She followed it up with an implication that anyone who doesn't want to worry about nit-picking what's "honorable" during a game must be against the idea of playing honorably, in effect, accusing CurtC of playing dishonorably.

After some chiding by your humble narrator for having falsely maligned CurtC and generally come across as an argumentative wanker, Marge successfully turned the thread into a Marge-versus-the-Reasonable affair where she eventually lost all hope of productive discourse by, upon having seen CurtC use the term "we" in reference to himself and Sam Stone (because they shared the same point of view on an issue), responding with the brilliant, "We? Are you afraid to confront me by yourself?" It was at this point that the participants in the thread knew they were dealing with a complete fucking idiot. But make no mistake: she is a macho idiot. She's tough, she's certain she's played waaaaaay more bar rules pool than me (based on what, we'll never know), and oh yeah, she has some pretty unbelievable claims about how good she is at pool (that behind-the-headstring shot on an 8-ball in the kitchen is easy? You're talking out of your ass)

Then, after being told by Sam Stone that calling me a "pompous ass" was uncalled for, Marge finally reveals her beef with me: I have apparently been warring with her in other threads. Ignoring the fact that that's a really stupid excuse to go on the offense in General Fucking Questions, it's not even remotely true. So far as I can find, I have never responded to her in any other thread, and I've only even participated in one thread in common with her, the extent of which was a throwaway joke post that did not disagree with her in any way.

And nobody wished death upon anyone, and they all lived happily ever after.

The End.

The moral of this story is: Fuck you, Large Marge

[Ice Wolf]

Nothin' to say: just want to applaud the OP for a bloody well written post. ::applause::

[Shakes]

Ok, I got to post 25 and had to stop before my head exploded.

She does have some valid points but she's being a real bitch about it.

I also disagree with her assertations that there is "animousity" between bca players and bar rules player.

I play at a bar that has a pretty good mix of both. It's pretty well understood in that bar (And other bars that I go to for that matter) that bar rules are pretty much whats implied if you're playing with a stranger.

If you expect to play bca you'd better speak up.

And as far as her little slam on Texans go. Most folks I know will be happy to oblige you and play bca rules as long as you're willing to walk us through it. It's called Texas hospitality.

As far as I can tell, bca rules are for league players who are actually trying to win a "prize" so to spreak.

If it's just a friendly game over a couple of beers, (This especialy rings true if you aren't even ON a league) then by all means, play by the bar rules. It's just for fun anyway. (OR if your like me maybe a couple of bucks or a beer or two.......



.....or thfree...*hic-up*)

[Duke of Rat]

Texas Sissy Bar player here. I work with a guy who's on a BCA team going to the Nationals in Vegas in May (I sure hope I haven't got my sanctioning bodies mixed up...he's going to some big-ass pool tourney in Vegas in May).

Anyway, we drop into one of the local Texas Sissy Bars after work and shoot a few games some Fridays. This is a guy with a carbon fiber break cue, shit like that.

We just shoot a few games and never once have rules been mentioned. When in bar, shoot bar.

I tend to think some people are just assholes. Me and my coworker have fun, even though I'm not in his league. You can have fun if you check your asshole at the door.

[mhendo]

Yeah, Large Marge annoyed me a little in a recent IMHO thread, in which the OP had two Wintel laptop PCs, and was asking for advice on which one to sell and which one to keep.

Large Marge's advice?

Originally Posted by Large Marge

Keep the Mac

When the OP pointed out that he didn't have a Mac, LM said, "Yes, that was my point."

[Guinastasia]

And this lovely example of subtly trying to accuse a poster of being an animal hoarder, then asking, "Why are you so defensive!" when called on it.

[spinky]

Oh geez, she's a macsturbator too. Ferchrissakes. (Nice word, by the way. I hope it catches on)

I'm sure she'll come in here and say she's just "plain spoken" or whatever words blowhards use to excuse being blowhards.

Hey Marge, you big tough thing, you. I'm still curious to hear about these other threads where you claim I'm bothering you.

[vetbridge]

Wow. At the bar that I go to most often, someone who knows which end of the stick is used to hit the white ball is considered a know-it -all.

[silenus]

If only there was a way to keep the first 10 posts or so of a thread and dump the rest.....

[Ponder Stibbons]

Originally Posted by vetbridge

Wow. At the bar that I go to most often, someone who knows which end of the stick is used to hit the white ball is considered a know-it -all.

What? You mean the colors of the balls matter?

[Smeghead]

Originally Posted by Ponder Stibbons

What? You mean the colors of the balls matter?

Don't be silly. They're all the same - what difference could the color make??

[Ellis Dee]

I probably lost my cool more than I should have in that pool thread, but goddamn she was irritating me beyond belief.

In the several posts I made, I can't tell you how many times I actually had to edit out insults and the like before posting. I've never before had the experience of repeating to myself, over and over like a mantra, "This is GQ. This is GQ."

She is one of the most unpleasant posters I've ever seen. Now there's two names on here I simply cannot stand. At least the other seems to be mostly reasonable and informed, but has messageboard turrets or something where he seems to completely lose it for no reason. Marge, on the other hand, does not appear to have any redeeming posting value whatsoever.

Good pit thread.

(How dare you disbelieve her 50% boast. 50% is an F, which is failing! Obviously, a good player makes the majority of all shots, regardless of difficulty.)

[pulykamell]

Yeah, I really had to bite my tongue in that one, too. And I'd be more than willing to put my money where my mouth is. If she can make the bank shot I described 5 out of 10 times, I would gladly pay to see it.

[galt]

Personally, I liked the "I wasn't exaggerating" statement after the 50% claim was challenged. Uh, I'm not sure how to put this, lady, but if you claim you can make 50% when you can't actually make 50%, that's called exaggerating. Whether you were honestly deluding yourself about how great you are or whether you were flat-out full of shit, it's still an exaggeration.

[Gatopescado]

Originally Posted by Smeghead

Don't be silly. They're all the same - what difference could the color make??

Actually, in pool, once you go Black, you can't go back.

[Go You Big Red Fire Engine]

Originally Posted by gatopescado

Actually, in pool, once you go Black, you can't go back.

And the real aim of the game is to sink the white ball and the black ball both at the same time before sinking anything else!

[11811]

Originally Posted by Duke of Rat

You can have fun if you check your asshole at the door.

Me, I check mine in the mirror.

[spinky]

Guess I shoulda stuck her name in the title or something...

[Starving Artist]

Originally Posted by Go You Big Red Fire Engine

And the real aim of the game is to sink the white ball and the black ball both at the same time before sinking anything else!

Yeah! That's the way I've always played it.

[mhendo]

Originally Posted by ntucker

Guess I shoulda stuck her name in the title or something...

Did you put a link to this thread in the pool thread? Because that is the recommended protocol for this type of thing.

[bordelond]

Originally Posted by mhendo

Did you put a link to this thread in the pool thread? Because that is the recommended protocol for this type of thing.

That thread was already closed when this one was started, I think.

[mhendo]

Originally Posted by bordelond

That thread was already closed when this one was started, I think.

Ah ha. I think you are correct. Oh well, looks like Large Marge will remain blissfully ignorant of her notoriety, unless she does a vanity search.

[Pashnish Ewing]

Originally Posted by Guinastasia

And this lovely example of subtly trying to accuse a poster of being an animal hoarder, then asking, "Why are you so defensive!" when called on it.

And then there was that time when she was talking to Pee Wee Herman in the cab of her truck and made her face go all wonky.

"Yes, Sir, the worst accident I ever seen."

Pash

[Q.E.D.]

Originally Posted by ntucker

Guess I shoulda stuck her name in the title or something...

You could email a moderator and ask him or her to edit the thread title for you.

[RedFury]

As an on and off pool/billiards player of close to fourty years I read the OP's referenced thread with some interest. Ironically enough due to her constant protestations to the contrary, this Large Marge person comes off as the least likeable player to engage in a friendly little game of eight ball. Now, I'm not going to say that in all my playing years I haven't noticed the slight -- and sometimes not so slight -- whiff of "superiority" that comes off the official rules players when discussing their standing in the totem pole vis-a-vis the drunken lowlifes playing the toy tables in holes-in-the-wall. But hey! so fuckin' what? I've shot pool in all sorts of environments, rules, countries, players, states of mind, etc., and IMNSHO, a good player is a good player. Period. Not sure what purpose it serves to be so godamn rigid about one set of rules or the other -- including the almost innumerable 'house rules' one encounters. Ever played in a bar where there's not enough room to swing your regular cue from certain angles? Where they hand you an old beat-up short stick just for those shots? Dives with tables so warped they defy the laws of physics as we know them? What to do? Hell, if you like pool and want to play, easy, you watch for a bit, get a feel for the rules/nuances of the joint, line-up your quarters, ask for any additional clarifications when you're up...and let it rip!

Not your style you say? Just as easy, don't play there and find a place more to your liking. Wouldn't work for someone like me though -- I don't play pool for a living and although I am competitive by nature, I let my game speak for itself. Nine times out of ten it earns me respect...and better yet, the chance to meet all kinds of new people. Pretty much all I want from the experience.

To each their own. Guess I already spend too much time arguing politics, religion and footy to get overly worked-up about a game of pool.

[AskNott]

I'm always amazed at how many arguments sprout around pool tables. I once saw a couple of guys get seriously injured in a fight over whose turn it was. When an opponent wants to argue over rules, I usually say, "Okay, you're right, whatever." If he shows that he really would rather argue than play pool, my next step is to intentionally lose and get the hell away from the table. I didn't come here to argue over a 50-cent game. Sheeeesh!