Are you “electable”? Just to make it simple, the rule will be if you have any characteristic that no President has ever had it’s a disqualification.
First the legal barriers:
Are you not an American citizen?
Are you not a native-born citizen?
Are you less than 35 years old?
Have you been living in the United States less than 14 years?
Now the obvious ones:
Are you a woman?
Are you any race other than white?
Do you practice any religion other than Christianity?
Are you openly gay or bisexual?
Some less obvious ones:
No President has ever been an only child.
A professional degree is good, but no President has ever had any medical degree. People obviously don’t want a President who’s seen them naked.
Military service is also a plus, but every President who’s served has been an officer.
And you’ve got to bring geography to the ticket. No one’s ever been elected President from the following states: Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Colorado, Delaware, Florida, Hawaii, Idaho, Indiana, Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, Mississippi, Montana, Nevada, New Mexico, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Oregon, Rhode Island, South Dakota, Utah, Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin, or Wyoming.
So are you in or out? Of course if you’re disqualified for any other reason, do the party a favor and mention if now before we spend a fortune on bumper stickers.
Well, I’m unelectable just based on age, but in two years I’ll be unelectable for a host of other reasons:
Electable:
White
Male
Straight
From Massachusetts
Unelectable:
Chose to live overseas for a long time (12 years by the time I’m 35). That’s just un-American.
Non-christian
Non-white wife
Only child
French name
I am a woman, and an only child, but the major impediment would be I am not willing to sell out to the Elite behind the scenes controllers just for fame.
I am too young, an only child, a woman, and an agnostic. I am also a librarian, and therefore dangerous. Plus there might somewhere maybe be naked pictures of me around.
Female
Single
Childless (and don’t want any)
Opinionated and outspoken
Unconventional
Major anti-presidential skeletons in my closet that Republicans would have a field day with.
Don’t fit clearly in one party or another (pro-choice, but for the right to bear arms, for example)
I’m electable only if the public wants a President who will leap out from behind the podium and clobber anyone who asks a stupid question during a public event.
I’m not 35 but other than that legal bases are covered.
I’m a woman that’s an only child, though. Born and raised in Kentucky, which produced Lincoln – but living in WV now, which would be a definite minus. Add to that a couple of skeletons and it’s not happening.
I’m surprised there’s never been an only child President. We’re even more responsible and driven than the firstborns
This’ll please Mom and Dad – I’ll run the country!
I’m a woman, too young, and bisexual. So probably no go. However, I’m going to be dictatrix (one of these days I should look that up), so I’m not too worried about getting elected.
Electable:
White
Straight
Male
Natural-Born U.S. Citizen
Tall
Fairly Photogenic and Likeable
Summa Cum Laude Law Degree
Experience in Civil Service
Good Public Speaker
Unelectable:
Only 34
Says Nice Things About Criminals For Money
Doesn’t Attend Church and Usually Dislikes Discussing Religion
Profligate, Debauched, and Misspent Youth
Sleeve Tattoos
Late Sleeper
Living in Sin With Girlfriend
Has Been Photographed Dressed as a Woman
Not 35, but will be by 2008. White male, ostensibly Christian, but if they get ahold of church attendence records, I’m sunk (did go to catholic school for 1st-8th grade. Does that help?)
MBA degree, just like our current Pres.
No criminal record, but no political experience either.
Behold your first President from Wisconsin.
Brat and beer consumption will be mandatory my America.
