And its name be Pirates.
‘Tiss a tale of the sea, of scurvy dogs and wenches, settin’ sail round the world, stealing treasure, and fucking like a bunch o’ dogs in heat, it be.
I call dibs on the “plundering booty” joke!
as soon as I think of a way to make it funny.
I take it there’s some swordplay in this flick? [snicker]
Big budget, maybe, but a regular-ish “movie” with mainstream actors, er, no. Pirates is still just a storyline porno (not that there’s anything wrong with that). Caligula remains on top in that respect.
Goddammit, I keep trying to come up with a “15 men on a dead man’s chest” joke but it keeps turning out all necrophiliac.
Heh.
I wonder what they’ll have to cut to get an Arrrrr! rating?
Daniel
They did that with Dream Quest. Something about watching monsters having sex with women was decidedly unsexy and unerotic.
Although it might be interesting to watch a skeleton and a woman.
Hmm?
We need a stroking beard smilie as that’s what I’m doing. <— straight line
I guess, if you watch porn for the boners.
Daniel
Will it be aboard The Raging Queen? What of the poor cabin boy?
Actually, Jenna Jameson did a big budget hardcore pirate flick called Conquest back in 1997. So we aren’t exactly breaking new ground here. And the thing that made Caligula kinda different was that they had mainstream A level actors like Malcolm MacDowell and Helen Mirren in on it. They didn’t do hardcore of course, but they did some pretty raunchy stuff, like MacDowell and Mirren doing some softcore sex doggie style.
Kinda reminds me of that HBO series “Rome” come to think of it.
Tommy Loy: the Movie.
You know, surprisingly most pirates weren’t…uh, never mind.
That’s some impressive imagery for a medium budget porn film! ANd I’m not talking about the womanflesh on display, either. They’ve put an awful lot of effort into it.
It’s a shame the acting and sex will be irritatingly glammed up standard porn.
I’d watch it.
Holy fucking shit.
This movie actually looks better than Pirates of the Carribean (which I hated and which I actually fell asleep during.) I believe it was the two-hour long skeleton swordfight with the overused blue-gray color pallette that bored me the most. I can actually see myself enjoying Pirates as a movie, not just as a porno.
It will do til Busty Cops 2 comes out
It wasn’t just Malcolm McDowell that made Caligula such an event – it had Peter O’Toole and John Gielgud (!!!) – although they were not, of course, in the porn sections.
But the real killer was that Gore Vidal wrote the original screenplay – the same Vidal who gave us Julian and Creation. They jettisoned his stuff and added a lot of porn.
I still can’t believe they threw away all that talent to make a porn epic.
Good Lord: those women are UGLY! It’s almost enough to put me off porn altogether.
Ditto. Too fake, too (fake) blonde.
Now, let’s not get too hasty there. Don’t wanna do anything you’ll regret later.