Stop making my mum angry!!

The BBQ Pit
1

In the household, there are two pillars - the mum and the dad. It’s all right if occasional dad got mad - after all, usually he’s out to work or such (and in my case, my dad is really kind of irrelevant).

But please leave my mum alone. She’s the core of the nexus, the lady in the kitchen and the one who is at home all the day. Making her upset is try trying to stab a needle into the bee’s hive. And all the bees are upset.

Situation: We live in a block of apartment, and for a very long time, there have been heavy stomping upstairs. It’s government-owned flats, and so all disputes are either taken to the government board or the police. Now my mum doesn’t like to mix with those in authority and so far she have been keeping mum (pardon the pun) about the stomping upstairs.

That’s upseting, but my mum is too a dedicated housewife. All the stomping upstairs are causing dust on the ceiling to pour down, and to a housewife, that’s intolerable. And now she’s mad. And now she’s angry. And now she’s not cooking lunch.

I would like to just go upstairs and scream “Hey you! Stop making my mum mad!” but who are staying upstairs? An elderly grandfather whose wife has suffered a stroke, and according to the local gossip mill, the wife might be suffering from depression. So if I go upstairs and demand, politely or aggressively, that they stop the stomping, and if dramatics happen, I’ll be the Bad Guy, no matter what.

I could wish that my mum stop worrying about the dust, or the nice elderly gentleman upstairs stop stomping - but I don’t think that’s going to happen. So for the time being, I have to put with angry mum in the den till that something happens.

PS. I know an obilgatory swearing is required, but I just don’t have the heart to rant at an elderly grandfather whose only companion is bedridden.

2

Would it be okay to paint the ceiling? maybe that will help to keep so much dust from falling. One of your parents should be able to find a solution to keep it from crumbling so easily.

Be sure to help your Mom with the clean up. That’s always appreciated.

I can understand your wanting to yell at someone, but your instincts about not yelling are best. It’s not the old man’s fault that the ceiling is crumbling. That’s probably just his natural way of walking and it’s probably not going to change. If anyone says anything to him, it should be done with respect and by one of your parents.

Is there anything special you can do for your Mom? Sometimes they need to feel that what they are doing is seen as hard work and appreciated. They also need to be listened to as a person and not just a mother. I hope she has time to herself away from the house.

You are so good to be concerned about her.

3

Have a quiet word with them. Could even combine that with a little something to show your concern. We’re quite pally with the folks who live directly below us, as a result of the fact that our water pipes periodically drip. Okay, we’ve had to have work done in our bathrooms three times by the local cowboys builders, but everything’s very civilised whenever there’s a proble. They ring, we pop down and fix it. Last time, he even recommended the builder to use.

Compare that with my boss, who suffered damage to her flat from the old dripping water from above. She’s never so much as spoken to the fellow upstairs. Everything’s done through lawyers, Small Claims Tribunal, etc. A crying shame in this day and age of “empathy”, “bracelets”, “ribbons”, “awareness”, etc. that two members of the human race can’t sort out minor problems.

Go for it.

4

I think she will be glad to have me to do the painting (she got the paint already!) but she will never let me do housework. I am a completely klutz and she knows it. So that’s why the only way I think I can help is to go up, and settle the issue, somehow…

Ya, I can do that…

5

You can’t even dust the shelves, though? Surely you couldn’t cause too much havoc with a feather duster.

6

Famous last words, if ever I’ve heard them.

7

Hmmm. With Viagra and all, are you certain that the ceiling is crumbling due to stomping, and not “stomping”?

8

My mum was describing it…taking a stone pillar and keep slamming it against the floor. The fixtures holding the lights almost came down.

It seems that this have been going for some time, primarily above the kitchen. My mum tried the neighbourly route – apologising (in advance) to the elderly gentleman upstairs, buying sweets for his grandson (no idea if the grandson stays together) and being nice to the gentleman.

Actually, the neighbour upstairs have been given us grief for some time. The last time was that he hurled down a diaper full of urine, and it got “stuck” onto the side of the wall just outside of the windows…we didn’t realise till the ammonia made its way into our apartment. :eek: :eek: :eek:

Apparently my mum is ready to take drastic actions. But I hope this will end peacefully…I mean, isn’t better to live in harmony instrinically than to rely on some external forces to keep the peace, right?

9

Our upstairs neighbors always sounded like they were hanging pictures - that hammer on the wall noise, It’s pretty distinctive, but who hangs pictures 5-6 days a week for 4 months?

When they moved out, we saw the apartment they left behind. There was not a single 16" space between wall studs that did not have a hole in it. I guess they fought a lot, damaging each other and the walls in the process. I never heard a cross word from them, though.

10

You’re klutzy enough that she won’t let you clean… but she’ll let you PAINT??

Max :smiley:

11

Nay, I think I might have mistyped, but I was saying “Ya, I can do that” to another Doper’s suggestion that I help her with the clean-up. There’s no way my mum is going to let me paint. She already has a dozen “worst-case” scenarios in mind…

Today there’s not much noise (thanksfully!) but for some reasons, there have been sounds of furintures being pushed about…for days! I wonder if t’s just the grandson playing Indians and Cowboys…