Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 11-13-2005, 07:34 PM
Revenant Threshold is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: London, UK
Posts: 12,094

Hey, I came to see a film! Not some damn advert!


Adverts before films in cinemas. Crap anyway, unless they're funny. But this one takes the fucking cake.

This may have been pitted already. If it hasn't been, WHY THE HELL NOT?

Three words:

Ten. Minute. Advert.

No, I'm not exaggerating.

Here it is.

I challenge you to sit through all of it. The best part? When it seems like it's about to end, but then doesn't. Evil .There were audible groans from the audience when it started back up again.

Apperently, it's already been pulled in Canada, as they were attacked for glamourising gun culture. Sure it does. It's also VERY FUCKING ANNOYING. Methinks that H&M are responding to the latter rather than the former, here.

I mean......seriously. Just watch it. And then imagine being forced to watch in, on a cinema screen. How on earth did they think this would make people want to go there? (Other than, of course, to set fire to the damn place).

Is there a word for an anti-advert? Something which dispromotes the brand and makes people hate it? This is the epitome of that.

Oh, and one more thing:

Fuck you, H&M.
  #2  
Old 11-13-2005, 07:39 PM
Larry Borgia's Avatar
Larry Borgia is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Washington DC
Posts: 10,496
Another fine reason to only watch movies on DVD.
  #3  
Old 11-13-2005, 07:45 PM
Anastasaeon is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Sleeping Seattleite
Posts: 5,007
Yeah, I always show up at movies half an hour late so I get there just in time for the movie to start. Starts at 1pm? Show up at 2 and enter the theatre in time to hear that wwwwwwwrrrrrrrrrrrrrewwwwwwwwwww Dolby noise. Score.
  #4  
Old 11-13-2005, 07:49 PM
vivalostwages is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Lower half of CA
Posts: 14,276
I'm usually early, but I poke my head in to see if they're still on the ad phase. Once they start the trailers, I'll go in. Fuck the ads. I just wish I had a big old remote with a mute button just for use in the cinema.
__________________
Me: Good lord, it's a regular human centipede.
Superdude: It's a conservative human centipede! ETA: Curse you, vivalostwages!
Me: I consider the curse a great compliment.
Simster: Well, then, I am complimenting you like a mother....
  #5  
Old 11-13-2005, 10:16 PM
JpnDude is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Tokyo, Japan
Posts: 1,311
You guys have it easy. Here in Japan, they play ads before and after trailers up to the time the feature film begins. And movie tickets run about US$15.
  #6  
Old 11-13-2005, 11:17 PM
Baldwin is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Atlanta, Georgia, USA
Posts: 6,376
Just out of curiosity, what is the ten-minute advertisement about?

Didn't a woman in Chicago successfully sue a theater chain for not starting movies at the advertised time?
  #7  
Old 11-14-2005, 12:11 AM
Anastasaeon is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Sleeping Seattleite
Posts: 5,007
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anastasaeon
Yeah, I always show up at movies half an hour late so I get there just in time for the movie to start. Starts at 1pm? Show up at 2
I have gorgeous maths skills.

That should have said "Starts at 1:30pm".
  #8  
Old 11-14-2005, 12:22 AM
GuanoLad's Avatar
GuanoLad is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: Where the wild roses grow
Posts: 24,708
Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Borgia
Another fine reason to only watch movies on DVD.
Except DVDs have unskippable trailers at the beginning that will be outdated within a year of buying it.

We bought the DVD - at three times the price of a movie ticket, and we still get bombarded with in-your-face advertising!!! That is so so wrong. Especially when there's also an ad warning you not to buy pirated DVDs. Because a pirated DVD would remove the ads and trailers.
  #9  
Old 11-14-2005, 01:34 AM
Miller's Avatar
Miller is offline
Sith Mod
Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Bear Flag Republic
Posts: 43,811
"Buy our phones and get gunned down in the streets!"

Not the best sales pitch I've ever heard.
  #10  
Old 11-14-2005, 01:35 AM
galt is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: formerly Galt, CA
Posts: 1,115
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baldwin
Just out of curiosity, what is the ten-minute advertisement about?
I'm curious about this too. I started watching it and it appeared to be some kind of godawful unwatchable music video / crappy love song, presumably loosely based on Romeo and Juliet, given the opening titles. About 90 seconds of it was about all I could take.

This commercial has failed spectactularly at getting my attention or even informing me as to who "H&M" is and what the fuck they're selling. I'd be pretty angry if I was forced to sit through 10 minutes of it, too.
  #11  
Old 11-14-2005, 01:55 AM
Charlie Tan is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: Scania
Posts: 4,956
H&M is a family owned, Sweden based, multinational chain of stores selling clothes. Think of them as the Wal-Mart of garments.
They've expanded like crazy the last ten years and are trying to re-position themselves as something more exclusive than what they really are, by bringing in high profile designers and crap like this. I guess this one backfired.
  #12  
Old 11-14-2005, 03:34 AM
Einmon is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: MUC
Posts: 990
Over here (Germany), they're showing (still-too-long) snippets of the damn thing as TV ads, too - making you switch the channel in confusion because you think you've inadvertently switched to MTV. Way to defeat the purpose of an ad, H&M.
  #13  
Old 11-14-2005, 03:45 AM
Bryan Ekers's Avatar
Bryan Ekers is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Montreal, QC
Posts: 58,780
Who exactly was shooting whom when she pointed the cellphone?
  #14  
Old 11-14-2005, 08:22 AM
baronsabato is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 308
Huh. That was pretty bizarre.

If I had seen that at a movie theatre, I would probably have briefly been excited (or appalled), thinking it was some remake of "West Side Story" or something.

Until, of course, they started to sing from the "Dreamgirls" soundtrack.

What an odd idea for a commercial.
  #15  
Old 11-14-2005, 08:27 AM
Einmon is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: MUC
Posts: 990
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bryan Ekers
Who exactly was shooting whom when she pointed the cellphone?
I think the "Julia" girl basically committed suicide (since no dagger was available at the site) by pointing the cellphone at the cop who in turn shot her. Then she got to frolic on the sheets with "Romeo" in the afterlife.
  #16  
Old 11-14-2005, 08:37 AM
Smapti is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Olympia, WA
Posts: 15,894
Sounds like life has imitated the Onion, once again...

Opium-Inspired Ad Exec Pens Epic Tums Jingle
  #17  
Old 11-14-2005, 10:02 AM
Amazon Floozy Goddess is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3,186
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anastasaeon
Yeah, I always show up at movies half an hour late so I get there just in time for the movie to start. Starts at 1pm? Show up at 2 and enter the theatre in time to hear that wwwwwwwrrrrrrrrrrrrrewwwwwwwwwww Dolby noise. Score.
Props to you for the best typed representation of the Dolby Noise I've seen.
  #18  
Old 11-14-2005, 10:41 AM
blondebear is offline
Shouting Grasshopper
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Meridian/280
Posts: 13,920
No one's mentioned my "favorite" pre-movie dreck, "The Twenty", being run at Regal Theaters. At the end of the series of ads and behind-the-scenes-type mini features, the voiceover says something to the effect of "...if you missed any of The Twenty, come earlier next time..." Yeah, right.

Here's my idea--above the theater door, have a count-down clock. OTOH, I suppose that could lead to a mass of people in the lobby and a rush for seats as the final seconds tick away.
  #19  
Old 11-14-2005, 10:41 AM
Miller's Avatar
Miller is offline
Sith Mod
Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Bear Flag Republic
Posts: 43,811
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Gaspode
H&M is a family owned, Sweden based, multinational chain of stores selling clothes. Think of them as the Wal-Mart of garments.
They've expanded like crazy the last ten years and are trying to re-position themselves as something more exclusive than what they really are, by bringing in high profile designers and crap like this. I guess this one backfired.
Huh. I assumed it was a cellphone ad, because they kept dropping in these tight shots of their phones. Didn't bother to watch the whole thing, naturally, as I have to high a regard for my own sanity. The two minutes or so I did watch were fuckin' interminable.
  #20  
Old 11-14-2005, 10:47 AM
Terminus Est's Avatar
Terminus Est is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: The tropics
Posts: 7,520
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amazon Floozy Goddess
Props to you for the best typed representation of the Dolby Noise I've seen.
Except that was the THX noise. It was really good, though. I knew what it was supposed to represent even though it was mislabelled.
  #21  
Old 11-14-2005, 11:06 AM
vibrotronica is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Memphis
Posts: 3,624
I am a big stickler for silence in the movie theater, but in my book the crapflood of bullshit ads are exempt from the "whispers only," rule. Feel free to talk loudly about anything you want during the ad; you will recieve bonus points if you make loud derisive remarks about the ads themselves or the products advertised.
  #22  
Old 11-14-2005, 11:31 AM
Polycarp is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: A better place to be
Posts: 26,718
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anastasaeon
I have gorgeous maths skills.

That should have said "Starts at 1:30pm".
Well, that gives you a free half hour to see if you-know-what ensues!
  #23  
Old 11-14-2005, 01:36 PM
rjung is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Fifth corner of the Earth
Posts: 17,034
I don't like pre-movie ads either, but given how most theaters are getting screwed by the studios for hot new movies, I tolerate 'em as part of supporting my local stadium-seating, ultra-comfy, cinematic-experiencing cinema.

And yeah, I buy the overpriced sodas and popcorn, too. But that I do gladly.
__________________
--R.J.
Electric Escape -- Information superhighway rest area #10,186
  #24  
Old 11-14-2005, 01:43 PM
mobo85 is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Bloomingdale, NJ
Posts: 9,387
Quote:
Originally Posted by Smapti
Sounds like life has imitated the Onion, once again...

Opium-Inspired Ad Exec Pens Epic Tums Jingle
I would love to hear this if it actually existed.
  #25  
Old 11-14-2005, 02:28 PM
Bill The Cat is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 117
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anastasaeon
Yeah, I always show up at movies half an hour late so I get there just in time for the movie to start.
I used to do this until I realized that some theaters (mostly smaller, independent ones) actually start the movie (almost) on time and I missed the first 5 minutes of The Constant Gardener (not to mention annoyed everyone by walking in late).

So, I've developed a new rule: fuck big chain movie theaters, I'll watch everything at the smaller theaters from now on, or catch it on DVD.
  #26  
Old 11-14-2005, 02:52 PM
Love Rhombus is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: The suburbs of Innsmouth
Posts: 4,438
Yes, the Twenty! Bloody smarmy pablum that's attempting to be interesting and cool...ooo a "sneak preview" of a star telling me how great his next movie is going to be. Horse-balls. I'm an insider 'cause I watch the Twenty! It's like that stupid radio commercial where "regular people" sit around and discuss the great new shows on TV. BLEAH!
  #27  
Old 11-14-2005, 07:54 PM
iamthewalrus(:3= is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Santa Barbara, CA
Posts: 11,693
This is slightly off-topic, but it's still a movie theater rant and is tangentially related.

The last movie I saw in the theaters (and it'll be the last one ever at that theater), they turned on the house lights as soon as the credits started rolling, and 30 seconds later were in there with fucking brooms.

I asked the first guy to turn the house lights off, please, and he said he needed to clean. I told him I didn't care, but to go please turn the lights off until the movie was completely over. I had to talk to two other people.

Afterwards, I complained to the manager, and his only excuse was "Well, we're on a pretty tight schedule..."

Fuck you and your schedule. If they didn't show ads for 20 minutes, they'd have plenty of time to run the credits so I can actually see who played that black detective.
  #28  
Old 11-15-2005, 12:09 AM
Kaotic Newtral is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: 5th house on the left
Posts: 726
Personally I HATE the ads that are shown before movies. Another part of me keeps waiting for the Looney Toons cartoons to kick in. I feel a weird sense of awe everytime I watch Bugs Bunny, Popeye and the like and I know that in the beginning...they were the filler and the advertisements for the adults at the theater.

Show me an AD....fine!...then show me something original.
  #29  
Old 11-15-2005, 08:01 PM
Fillepe the Mexican is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 4
Quote:
Originally Posted by iamthewalrus(:3=
The last movie I saw in the theaters (and it'll be the last one ever at that theater), they turned on the house lights as soon as the credits started rolling, and 30 seconds later were in there with fucking brooms.

I asked the first guy to turn the house lights off, please, and he said he needed to clean. I told him I didn't care, but to go please turn the lights off until the movie was completely over. I had to talk to two other people.

Afterwards, I complained to the manager, and his only excuse was "Well, we're on a pretty tight schedule..."
Well I work at a movie theater, admittedly in New Zealand so I'm not sure exactly how similar it is to the US but here goes anyhow. We schedule 15min of ad's and trailers on each movie. Normally it runs to about 10min though. Sneakily we put the ads after the first trailer such that those intent on seeing all the trailers have to watch the ads any how.

As to the lights thing the house lights come on as the credits roll to allow those that don't want to watch the credits (most people) to leave in relative safety. Cleaning lights and brooms etc won't appear until the last customer has left the cinema.

That said I'd like to send out a personal fuck you to people that not only watch the credits but sit around talking after the projector has stopped. Yes I have every right to kick you out and I will do so.
  #30  
Old 11-15-2005, 11:06 PM
alphaboi867 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: the Keystone State
Posts: 14,331
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baldwin
Just out of curiosity, what is the ten-minute advertisement about?

Didn't a woman in Chicago successfully sue a theater chain for not starting movies at the advertised time?
Hasn't a law been proposed in NYS that would require movie theatres to advertise the time the movie actually starts?
__________________
No Gods, No Masters
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:28 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@straightdope.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Copyright 2018 STM Reader, LLC.

 
Copyright © 2017