astro
December 14, 2005, 10:59pm
1
http://www.recordonline.com/archive/2005/12/14/news-jdsnowball-12-14.html
New Windsor - What, some might ask Jessica Sherer, is with the giant snow penis she built on her boyfriend’s lawn this week?
As everyone knows, phallic displays were central to Viking winter solstice celebrations of fertility and rebirth. Yeah. So what.
And readers of this paper surely know that phallic rituals were as much a part of the Hopi Indian winter festivals as the Hawk dance.
But down on Quassaick Avenue, around the corner from the New Windsor Elementary School, the 6-foot tall, anatomically correct, finely detailed penis raised some questions Monday.
Especially for police.
“We got some calls that people thought it was offensive,” said New Windsor police Chief Michael Biasotti. “We assumed it was some kids who did it.”
Officers found no one home. Assuming the snow sculpture was more prank than nod to Christmas’ pagan roots, the police knocked it down. Beat it down with shovels, actually.
“We came back around 11 in the morning, and it was just a pile of snow,” recalled Sherer, 19. “Just some shovel marks.”
Before pic
After pic
Sherer, um, erected the statue with her boyfriend and another friend Sunday. She said she was surprised to hear some neighbors took offense.
Motorists honked their approval, and people walking by pointed and laughed, she said.
“People were waving and laughing,” she said. “It was pretty funny.”
No citations or criminal violations will be issued for the display, Biasotti said. The town codes prohibit lewd signs on businesses, but don’t mention anything about public snow sculptures.
“We probably weren’t 100 percent correct in going on the property and knocking it down,” New Windsor Town Supervisor George Meyers said. “But our intentions were pure. Some people were offended. There are school buses going by there all day.”
The last two nights of freezing weather has made the snow too stiff to sculpt, said Sherer. But she intends to rebuild.
“In a couple of days, Thursday or Friday, after it gets a little warmer,” she promises.
Police and town officials aren’t sure what their move will be.
“I’d want the police to talk to the property owner if we got complaints, ask them to take it down” Meyers said. “But after that, I don’t think there’s too much we can do.”
Biasotti worries the display might give others ideas. “Now we’re going to get snow penises popping up all over town,” he said.
Many scholars, of course, trace the origin of the modern-day yule log to ancient pagan totems to virility and sun-god worship. Is that what Sherer was going for?
“We just did it because we were really bored, and we thought it’d be funny,” she said. “It was huge.”
Don’t people have anything better to do than get freaked out or offended about a harmless snow penis? Geeze! Relax, people!
The cops had no business knocking it down. :mad:
I guess you could say the penis got soft.
Okay, all together now!
“There’s no penis like snow penis, like no penis I know…”
I’m *so * sorry!
Miller
December 14, 2005, 11:20pm
5
It’s the only penis in the world that gets smaller when it’s not cold out.
Sheesh…what a bunch of cockknockers those cops are…
Taters
December 15, 2005, 12:12am
8
The poor snow sausage met an awful demise.
Ever since Mrs. Claus felt Ol’ Santa might be privy to their after hour frolicks, Frosty soon found himself with a terrible case of blue balls.
I guess none of the objectors have been to their local museum and seen the herm sculptures from ancient Greece.
If we build a penis sculpture now, it’s offensive to some. If we display one that was sculpted 2000 years ago, it’s a Respectable Historic Artifact.
The world has too many busybodies.
That’s a piss poor representation of a penis. It looks like a lighthouse.
Hell, if you squint at it, it also looks like a middle finger.
JoeSki
December 15, 2005, 3:20am
13
Regallag_The_Axe:
BAND NAME!
Clever. Now never put the word “penis” in between the words “snip” ever again.
shifts legs
eveanyn
December 15, 2005, 3:23am
14
For many, this is the most stressful time of the year. Lighten up and have a laugh!
I say: Re-Erect the snow penis!
Strinka
December 15, 2005, 4:14am
15
Finely detailed? They call that finely detailed?
Absolutely, and this time make it a bit more artistical-like–perhaps with that slight Peyronie’s angularity just for fun… Besides, isn’t making giant snow weenies what this season is all ABOUT?
I wish there was some snow here, I’d build a big ol’ wang in the front yard just outta solidarity or something… :wally
If you ask me, New Windsor Town Supervisor George Meyers was just jealous that some woman had a bigger dick than he does.
Seven
December 15, 2005, 6:51am
19
I bet that’s how the whole affair really went down.
Cop 1: This is the snow penis?
Cop 2: That ain’t no snow penis. That there is a snow lighthouse.
Cop 1: Yup. You’re right. And it is a crappy snow light house.
Cop 2: Nothing pisses me off more than badly done snow lighthouses.
Cop 1: No kidding. There should be a law.
Cop 1 & Cop 2: smash-smash-smash
My name is Anastasaeon , and I approve of this snow sculpture.
Re-erect!
Re-erect!
Re-erect!
