Have I been "Left Behind"?

gooftroopag · #1 12-27-2005, 12:35 AM

According to mswas, Christ was to return December 25, 2005. I checked the Messiahcam and didn't see anything, but I realize based on my own religious beliefs (biases) I would likely be one of those people that does not recognize Christ when I see him; only true believers will recognize Christ, right?

So, did I miss it? Have I been left behind, like in the "Left Behind" series?

If so, everyone I know was left behind and based on my day after Christmas trip to the Emergency Room*: the world is going to end with an upper respiratory plague, "domestic altercations" and based on my 5 hour drive from Ft. Worth to Austin (typically 3 hrs) a ton of auto accidents (the jaws of life were in high demand on Hwy 35).

Based on the reason mswas provided for why s/he believes Christ was to return on the 25th, I think it may have been a personal thing, but the nurses were really interested in what everyones' religion was (something about some religions refusing certain treatments or something along those lines), and I'm beginning to wonder if there was a right and wrong answer to that question.

* My dad is back in the hospital after a quadruple bypass and kidney surgery in October. They don't know what is wrong with him; some type of intestinal infection and a "mass in his liver" – we should know sometime this week what that means.

woodstockbirdybird · #2 12-27-2005, 12:48 AM

Wow. I just read all his responses in that thread, and I have to say: that's got to be some of the most insane rambling I've ever encountered on this board (even with the eventual cop-out that "not everyone will feel the event"). I love the way it coincides with his birth, too - nothing says "crackpot" like extreme narcissism. Please tell me that was some Andy Kaufman-type mind-fuck.

Good Egg · #3 12-27-2005, 01:07 AM

From what I have learned, people will see the rapture happening. So cool. And I am still here, so it can't have happened. I hope.
It would be on the news. And now, heres geraldo to tell you what just happened!

The bible says no one will know the day. So if someone guesses a day, it can't be that one.

Miller · #4 12-27-2005, 01:09 AM

Hee hee. What a lunatic.

Hope your dad's okay.

gooftroopag · #5 12-27-2005, 02:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by woodstockbirdybird

Please tell me that was some Andy Kaufman-type mind-fuck.

In case you were referring to me: it wasn't meant as anti-humor.

I am a smart ass (some would say dumb ass), but perhaps I should have been more direct in my Pitting. Please forgive me, it's my first attempt.

My personal opinion is that mswas lives in a very special place. While I recognize we're all different, I believe some ideas are dangerous in the wrong hands. I'm not saying that mswas as a person is dangerous, but that the fervent ideology the s/he holds to is.

Of course, the absurdity of mswas's post equaled Jerry Springer-type stories that we overheard in the emergency room (not that we wanted to hear but my dad was in the same room with a woman who was quite vocal and let everyone around know that she'd been in a fight with her ex... the cops didn't help) and how absurd it would be for the end of the world to be marked by such a regular winter sickness as an upper respiratory infection.

If Christ had returned, I would have expected something more extraordinary to occur. But, mswas claims that most people will not recognize the return of Christ, so, maybe we all missed it.

woodstockbirdybird · #6 12-27-2005, 02:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gooftroopag

In case you were referring to me: it wasn't meant as anti-humor.

I am a smart ass (some would say dumb ass), but perhaps I should have been more direct in my Pitting. Please forgive me, it's my first attempt.

My personal opinion is that mswas lives in a very special place. While I recognize we're all different, I believe some ideas are dangerous in the wrong hands. I'm not saying that mswas as a person is dangerous, but that the fervent ideology the s/he holds to is.

Of course, the absurdity of mswas's post equaled Jerry Springer-type stories that we overheard in the emergency room (not that we wanted to hear but my dad was in the same room with a woman who was quite vocal and let everyone around know that she'd been in a fight with her ex... the cops didn't help) and how absurd it would be for the end of the world to be marked by such a regular winter sickness as an upper respiratory infection.

If Christ had returned, I would have expected something more extraordinary to occur. But, mswas claims that most people will not recognize the return of Christ, so, maybe we all missed it.

No, the mind-fuck thing was directed to mswas, not you. Because his posts read like a parody of batshit-insane paranoid/apocalyptic babble.

Hamlet · #7 12-27-2005, 02:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gooftroopag

If Christ had returned, I would have expected something more extraordinary to occur. But, mswas claims that most people will not recognize the return of Christ, so, maybe we all missed it.

I finally have some time, now that he's decided to take a 30 minute shower and use up all the fucking hot water in the house, but, yes, Jesus arrived at noon on the 25th. He just strode right in, and immediately started with the "Where's my damned presents" and "Happy fucking birthday to me!!". If it wasn't one thing with him it was another: No Hi Def. No stereo system. Why do we have to watch kid shows? I want porn! He would not shut up. Finally my wife got him a pitcher of water, and he eventually passed out about midnight. We fixed up the basement trundle bed, and put him down for the night.

And don't get me started about his behavior yesterday. He kicked my wife and I out of our bed, because it was better for his back. "Let's see you get crucified and not come away with some serious back pain!" he said. While we cleaned up his messes from the day before, he sat on his ass in front of the television watching Harold and Kumar go to White Castle on pay per view. He made me spend the afternoon running around looking for grasshoppers and dates, and then would not shut up with the "This is my body" jokes all dinner. He even started hitting on my wife until I told him to knock it off. Apparently that pissed him off, because he did the whole "I died for your sins" routine ... and started to list them. Now THAT was embarrassing.

If mswas is right, and we have to wait another 7 years for the apolocaylpse, I swear to God that I'm going to kick his scrawney little

Shit, here he comes...

jali · #8 12-27-2005, 02:21 PM

By SAMUEL MAULL
Associated Press Writer
Dec 23 6:43 PM US/Eastern

NEW YORK - A Manhattan man's holiday spirits soared to celestial heights Friday when a judge gave him permission to change his name to Jesus Christ. Jose Luis Espinal, 42, of Washington Heights, said he was "happy" and "grateful" that the judge approved the change, effective immediately. Espinal said he was moved to seek the name change about a year ago when it dawned on him, "I am the person that is that name."

Attn all Christers: HE IS THE PERSON THAT IS THAT NAME. That's good enough for me!

Man With a Cat · #9 12-27-2005, 02:23 PM

Calling mswas, calling mswas.......

Oh fuck if mswas isn't here to answer a simple page, then what does that mean?

PinkMarabou · #10 12-27-2005, 03:21 PM

Why does this remind me of that Simpson's episode where Homer was predicting the rapture?

Hamlet, please ship a new keyboard to my work immediately. I'm going to brag about you for a while . . . hope you don't mind.

yanceylebeef · #11 12-27-2005, 03:39 PM

Now that I think of it, the office has seemed a little quiet today.

Hmmmmm.

Tupug Anachi · #12 12-27-2005, 03:51 PM

Yeah, and an entire company that shares my building is missing!

NAF1138 · #13 12-27-2005, 04:01 PM

Give mswas a break. I mean I know you guys like to nitpick over typos but really...just cause the guy typed 2005 when he meant 20005. It's an easy mistake to make, we all knew what he meant.

And I think we can all agree that Christ WILL return on December 25th 20005 at noon. Personally I am going to leave instructions for my decendants to have a nice pork chop dinner ready for him when he comes back (his dad told me it's his favorite).

StarvingButStrong · #14 12-27-2005, 04:25 PM

It occurs to me that if the Godly have been Raptured, that means all their gear is now up for grabs by us, the Ungodly.

I hosey the Crystal Cathedral. It'll make a fine place to grow, um, tomatoes.

yanceylebeef · #15 12-27-2005, 04:38 PM

Sweet! There is a huge Dodge Compensation pick-up downstairs in the garage. I don't want it for long, I just wanna crush some stuff.

Yay armageddon!

gooftroopag · #16 12-27-2005, 05:59 PM

Good Cripes! I am sooo jealous. I was supposed to pit the H-E-(double Hockey sticks) out of the MSWAS post... and I mised my opportunity. Oh well, I'm glad somebody did. A-Physical Doomsdayer's freak me out --- If there a an H-bomb dangling above my head or a massive comet "comin' right for us", I can see being worried or being happy (if you're insane)... otherwise, they've just got to get over themselves!

Citizen Bob · #17 12-27-2005, 06:03 PM

Ugh -- sorry!

The last post above (gooftroopag) was mine. I was visiting gooftroopag and her computer was not logged out -- I didn't notice. It was really me!

PapSett · #18 12-27-2005, 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hamlet

I finally have some time, now that he's decided to take a 30 minute shower and use up all the fucking hot water in the house, but, yes, Jesus arrived at noon on the 25th. He just strode right in, and immediately started with the "Where's my damned presents" and "Happy fucking birthday to me!!". If it wasn't one thing with him it was another: No Hi Def. No stereo system. Why do we have to watch kid shows? I want porn! He would not shut up. Finally my wife got him a pitcher of water, and he eventually passed out about midnight. We fixed up the basement trundle bed, and put him down for the night.

And don't get me started about his behavior yesterday. He kicked my wife and I out of our bed, because it was better for his back. "Let's see you get crucified and not come away with some serious back pain!" he said. While we cleaned up his messes from the day before, he sat on his ass in front of the television watching Harold and Kumar go to White Castle on pay per view. He made me spend the afternoon running around looking for grasshoppers and dates, and then would not shut up with the "This is my body" jokes all dinner. He even started hitting on my wife until I told him to knock it off. Apparently that pissed him off, because he did the whole "I died for your sins" routine ... and started to list them. Now THAT was embarrassing.

If mswas is right, and we have to wait another 7 years for the apolocaylpse, I swear to God that I'm going to kick his scrawney little

Shit, here he comes...

I am going to hell for laughing my ass off at that, aren't I??

Fiveyearlurker · #19 12-27-2005, 07:17 PM

I'm going to give mswas the benefit of the doubt and consider that post written with tongue in cheek unless otherwise informed. No one is that self-centered, right? Right?

Lord Ashtar · #20 12-27-2005, 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fiveyearlurker

I'm going to give mswas the benefit of the doubt and consider that post written with tongue in cheek unless otherwise informed. No one is that self-centered, right? Right?

That's what I was thinking. Seemed a joke to me.

kaylasdad99 · #21 12-27-2005, 07:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PapSett

I am going to hell for laughing my ass off at that, aren't I??

I'll save you a seat.

On second thought, since you don't have any ass left, you won't need one!

Der Trihs · #22 12-27-2005, 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fiveyearlurker

I'm going to give mswas the benefit of the doubt and consider that post written with tongue in cheek unless otherwise informed. No one is that self-centered, right? Right?

From my arguments from him/her, I get the impression mswas is an extreme cultural relativist; someone who think reality is defined solely by belief. mswas may very well not be joking.

glee · #23 12-27-2005, 08:07 PM

I understand Jesus has been held up by an Interspace Bypass.
He'll be with us as soon as He can, but some things just can't be foreseen.

Of course He did return earlier, but nobody paid attention:

http://web.ukonline.co.uk/gamini.perera/Ben.html

treis · #24 12-27-2005, 08:07 PM

I hope Priceguy is ok, anyone heard from him?

Tenar · #25 12-27-2005, 08:28 PM

Is this one of those quantum mechanics things? Is mswas equally raptured and NOT raptured as long as we have no direct evidence one way or another?

Cool.

JimSox5 · #26 12-27-2005, 08:48 PM

Oh, I think the rapture could certainly have happened. But then God and Jesus looked at those who carry the Christian religion so proudly and thought, "We can wait another 2000 years, right?"

Lok · #27 12-27-2005, 10:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PapSett

I am going to hell for laughing my ass off at that, aren't I??

Look at it this way. You will have a lot of company and we will all be in a higher circle than Hamlet.

Dunderman · #28 12-27-2005, 11:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by treis

I hope Priceguy is ok, anyone heard from him?

I'm OK. Thanks for caring, but why did you think I might not be?

treis · #29 12-28-2005, 02:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Priceguy

I'm OK. Thanks for caring, but why did you think I might not be?

Oops, that was supposed to be a reference to Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor's thread. I'd like to amend my previous post to read:

I hope Bosda is ok, anyone heard from him?

PinkMarabou · #30 12-28-2005, 10:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lok

Look at it this way. You will have a lot of company and we will all be in a higher circle than Hamlet.

That's how I see it. When people ask me (it doesn't happen often BTW) if I'm scared of possibly going to Hell, my reply is something to the effect of: No one will be in Heaven. Everyone I know and love will be burning in Hell, right next to you and me.

Wile E · #31 12-28-2005, 10:54 AM

Well, if all the fuddy duddy's are gone does this mean we can finally do whatever we want?

Plynck · #32 12-28-2005, 10:56 AM

I think it was the references to "Mountain Time" that elevated those posts to classic SDMB status.

Contrapuntal · #33 12-28-2005, 11:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fiveyearlurker

I'm going to give mswas the benefit of the doubt and consider that post written with tongue in cheek unless otherwise informed. No one is that self-centered, right? Right?

I'm pretty sure he was serious. He has some ... fluid ideas about God, including the belief that he is God.

Good Egg · #34 12-28-2005, 11:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Contrapuntal

I'm pretty sure he was serious. He has some ... fluid ideas about God, including the belief that he is God.

We can discount that then, as he was wrong!

gooftroopag · #35 12-29-2005, 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tenar

Is this one of those quantum mechanics things? Is mswas equally raptured and NOT raptured as long as we have no direct evidence one way or another?

Cool.

Unless you get internet access after being raptured, his posting on the board today would prove he wasn't.

He did say, however, that Christ has returned.

mswas · #36 12-29-2005, 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tenar

Is this one of those quantum mechanics things? Is mswas equally raptured and NOT raptured as long as we have no direct evidence one way or another?

Cool.

I'm back...

Did somebody page me?

As Christ, I determine whether or not the cat in the box is alive or dead, along with an aggregation of all the will in the universe.

Ok to clarify my position:

Atheism is a semantic mistake

Yes, reality is determined by belief.

The Rapture is gonna be when the aliens come down and decimate* the populace.

After the rapture the mindless consumers will be revealed for what they truly are, FLESH EATING ZOMBIES!!!!

The Meek shall inherit the Earth...as fertilizer.

The word Apocalypse means "revelation"

Jesus was not the only "Christ".

The Drug War is the Holy Inquisition in a new guise, an attempt to secure the Roman Religious authority as the supreme authority by limiting the spread of knowledge to the hands of a few.

New York is the capital of the Roman Empire.

Eric Rothschild, George HW Bush, and David Rockefeller are the "Illuminati". Along with millions of others.

Many conspiracy theories are true, but not all of them. Though they are true enough to the paranoid who lives in persecution.

The CIA IS watching you.

Just because you figure out how Magick works doesn't stop it from being Magick.

Science is not a religion, but that hasn't stopped billions from treating it as one.

It is not possible for a government to be devoid of religion.

Immortality is possible.

Satan is God, and so am I.

Hitler was the anti-christ, it's over, stop waiting for the storm troopers, that story is getting boring.

I want to be the first on my block to have my very own space cruiser.

Erek
*Kill one in ten people.

mswas · #37 12-29-2005, 06:04 PM

Oh yeah, one more thing Praise Jah!

gooftroopag · #38 12-29-2005, 06:16 PM

mswas, are you high? Do you really believe this stuff or are you interested in the shock and awe aspect of it?

If you do believe it, why? Where would you get the idea that you are Christ?

Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor · #39 12-29-2005, 06:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by treis

Oops, that was supposed to be a reference to Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor's thread. I'd like to amend my previous post to read:

I hope Bosda is ok, anyone heard from him?

~~<smacks tries with wet trout >~~

No.

<smacks tries with wet Caribou >

There. MUCH better!

Citizen Bob · #40 12-29-2005, 06:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mswas

As Christ, I determine...

...The Rapture is gonna be when the aliens come down and decimate* the populace.

...After the rapture the mindless consumers will be revealed for what they truly are, FLESH EATING ZOMBIES!!!!

...The Meek shall inherit the Earth...as fertilizer.

...The Drug War is the Holy Inquisition in a new guise, an attempt to secure the Roman Religious authority as the supreme authority by limiting the spread of knowledge to the hands of a few.

...Satan is God, and so am I.
...I want to be the first on my block to have my very own space cruiser.

I have rarely met a person on as much acid as this. I mean, dropping a 10 gallon vat of H2SO4 is one thing,,, but whoah!

Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor · #41 12-29-2005, 06:24 PM

Now that I think of it, it's been awhile since Cecil Adams, The Celestial Master last graced us on the SDMB.

Maybe we have been left behind, 'cause if Cecil don' go, don' nobody go!

Hamlet · #42 12-29-2005, 07:36 PM

The saddest thing is that mswas's post above was the most coherent, logical, and factually accurate that he/she/it has made in his/her/its entire career on the Dope.

fruitbat · #43 12-29-2005, 07:43 PM

I am as amused by this thread and the preceding one as everyone else is. The posts though are incredibly familiar to me. My brother is schizophrenic and the writing style and subject matter is amazingly similar. So let me give the obligatory 'get help' bit if this isn't a joke. If it is a joke, it is a well executed one.

Wolfian · #44 12-29-2005, 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mswas

The Drug War is the Holy Inquisition in a new guise, an attempt to secure the Roman Religious authority as the supreme authority by limiting the spread of knowledge to the hands of a few.

Yep, acid.