It all starts with brightpenny’s GQ thread, Searching Luggage: Sanitary? in which she complained about airport luggage searches and the possibility that germs were being transmitted from bag to bag because inspecters rifled through dirty underwear.
Seeing as that’s rather a remote possibility, some very gentle fun was poked; ideally, brightpenny would have reacted with decent humor and realized that maybe her concern was a bit silly. But no - she became increasingly more irate in that thread, finally asking for it to be closed.
Next, Polerius quotes bits of that thread in this ATMB thread, What are the rules/etiquette for responding in GQ?, asking whether it was proper to respond sarcastically in GQ. In the ATMB thread, brightpenny’s melodrama mounts, and she grows increasingly shrill at the gentle sarcasm that had been sent her way. She culminates with this gem:
And when some of us questioned whether it was really comparable to gang rape, she said this:
Well, since I think I’m one of the people you were addressing, brightpenny, let me answer your question. No, I haven’t. I have some dear friends who have been raped, though. And I don’t think your experience was even remotely comparable. Have you ever been raped? Because I’m absolutely disgusted that you would decide to draw a comparison between gang rape and people being mean to you on the internet. And not very mean at that. Those who posted in that thread were sufficiently gentle that two mods popped by and didn’t say a thing about anyone’s behavior - obviously whatever “rape” you felt was entirely in your own head.
I’m flabbergasted that you would cheapen the actual pain experienced by victims of sexual assault by comparing it to lighthearted sarcasm on the internet. I certainly hope you make good on your melodramatic declaration that you’re going to leave. This message board doesn’t need worthless fucks like you with absolutely no perspective, and it most certainly doesn’t need the kind of person who would compare a couple of jokes to gang rape. It’s absolutely repulsive that you would resort to something as sleazy as comparing yourself to a rape victim in order to try to drum up sympathy. What a sickening, self-obsessed, shrill, shrieking harpy you are. Please don’t ever come back to the SDMB.
I thought of starting this thread myself, but I know I’m not a great pitter. Nice rant in the OP, Excalibre, and I could dance to it.
brightpenny, you got poked a little bit in that GQ thread, and while it was really not the sort of thing that should go on in GQ, you made the situation worse by reacting badly. You ask what you should have done instead – you should have reported any bad posts and not responded to them, that’s what you should have done. If you were really pissed, you should have started a pit thread. You should not have responded in kind in that thread.
But your biggest sin is your behavior in the ATMB thread that was pointed out by Excalibre. If you’ve never been a victim of rape, your “it felt like a gang rape” comment and follow-up was way, way out of line. Ask some real rape victims about the difference between being brutally attacked in real life and having some slightly unpleasant comments directed toward you on a message board.
If, God forbid, you actually are a rape victim, then I would suggest you seek psychological help immediately. What happened in the GQ thread was just words on a message board. If you’re feeling the intense pain associated with a terrible experience from the past with a few antagonistic comments, you need help.
“I came to the Pit hoping to find a community of friends ranting about “the truth” ads and Jack Chick comics. Instead I feel like all of my family members are being shoved in the ovens!”
I think brightpenny did in fact mean to imply that she had experienced a gang rape, and I would like to second the notion that she get some kind of help immediately.
She said she was leaving. Nice of y’all to kick her on the way out… now isn’t this fun? :rolleyes:
Yes, the answer to her question is probably along the lines of “no, this isn’t really a problem, hygene-wise.” Yes, she over-reacted. Yes, she could have avoided a lot of the ridicule if she had shut up about it. And yes, she probably shouldn’t have brought up the gang-rape issue, whether or not she has been the victim of such.
And yet… I admit I winced at some of the snark that was leveled there before she ever started reacting to it. In a forum where this kind of snark, while existing, is usually meted out in fewer and weaker doses.
… And some “nice” people here won’t let go of her when she’s down, either.
So – I agree that brightpenny may not have been the paragon of behavior in this matter. But you guys (and gals) make her look good in comparison :eek:
And no, I’m not going anywhere, so spare me the advice about watching out for the door, OK!?
Cranky, irritable, humorless… I would agree. Unwilling to accept conflicting views? Absolutely. But this is not the first time that folks have exhibited those traits, and I’ve never considered them to be loathesome. And I don’t know if anything was bad enough to justify a third thread.
I thought that the linked thread was just a bit silly. I really couldn’t see that her complaint was justified. But then I remembered a current thread about OC behavior, and realized that there are some phobias that are very real in the minds of some people.
It probably would have been better posted in IMHO, but it was not. Well, not every post is in its correct place; why allow the Moderators to become complacent? It seemed that brightpenny posted in GQ, but only expected agreement to the opinion within the question. Hardly the best way to proceed. But I also think that the snarkiness was out of place in the GQ forum, as well. When it got to that point in GQ, it probably would have been better to either continue the thread in the pit, or else to ignore it and let it settle to the Marianas trench. Again, graceless but not loathesome.
As far as the gang rape statement: No insensitivity is intended to rape victims here or anywhere, but it isn’t as if hyperbolic statements are unheard of on these boards. “Pile-on” seems to be the word that most prefer, but I’ve heard other terms of violence used. I think it was just a defence mechanism kicking in, rather than admitting defeat. Again, graceless but not loathesome.
I’m sorry. I didn’t think that her rape claim should go without notice. I alerted her via email, so she’s perfectly capable of coming here to defend herself.
There was one bit of possible snark before she started getting defensive.
Sarcastic? Yeah. But was it a personal attack? No way, no how. People are occasionally sarcastic; that happens. Sometimes we aren’t pure sweetness and sunshine. As meanness goes, this was pretty damn mild. If she can’t handle that, I don’t see how she possibly manages to go through her life. And most of the rest of it, she pretty clearly brought on herself - by insulting the SDMB, by complaining in an increasingly shrill tone, and so on.
Nope. I’m not letting that gang rape comment go, because it pissed me off. That’s one of the consequences of saying ridiculous, inflammatory things.
The world is not just hugs and marshmallows; while this forum is usually pretty civil (and I like that) I sure hope it doesn’t get so clogged up with rules that all of us have to watch every word we type for fear of offending someone with a persecution complex the size of a solar system.
Rape metaphors are one of my personal triggers: I dislike comparing anything to rape unless it’s factually, rationally as bad as rape. The Rape of Nanking? Acceptable comparison. “Dude, don’t even challenge me to Doom II, I’ll rape you”? Totally unacceptable. Comparing messageboard insults to rape? Totally unacceptable.
I didn’t read that thread, but I’ll chime in with agreement that this is a metaphor to avoid. I think it cheapens and trivializes the idea of rape.
If the relatively mild treatment she got in her somewhat dopey GQ thread made her feel like she was being gang-raped, maybe this whole “internet” thing just isn’t a good idea for her.
Word. Wow, I can’t believe my gentle poke was even mentioned in the ATMB thread. I was attempting to point out (in a not particularly snarky manner) that, compared to many ordinary everyday interactions, having your luggage searched ranks really low on the contamination scale. Man, if I offend you, you gotta be thin-skinned…
