Since it appears that [del]our evil corporate overlords[/del]…[del]our parents[/del]… [del]The Man[/del]…Ed is gonna come down on us real soon now and Lay Down The Law, I think we should take this opportunity to prove–prove, I tell you! Like in the last thirty minutes of a particularly dreadful Disney film!–that we really can behave ourselves if we want to.
I’ll start.
<ahem>
I would like to cordially invite Giraffe to masturbate elsewhere and feel slightly under the weather.
Might I suggest you enter into a flammable building and perhaps breathe your last?
Or perhaps have intimate relations with yourself and thereupon expire.
Oh yeah? OH YEAH? Well why don’t you go take a short walk down a long pier?
Your family is ugly and your personal hygiene leaves much to be desired.
Your behavior has made the baby Jesus stop giggling and be reduced to mere beatific contentment.
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your ass hairs.
You know who’s not very attractive? Your mother.
Are you threatening another poster’s life?? This is unacceptable, even in the pit. I suggest you read the RULES before posting here, mister (and if that particular rule is not yet listed, you should know that I intend to add it later).
Not only have I suspended your posting privileges, but I’ve reported your menacing threats to local law enforcement.
Your new pit boss
Are you inferring that I, a female, am mannish? I think that I will play along with you and pretend I am unaffected, then send a PM complaining about harassment and discrimination.
You all have this vacuum-like quality.
Look, honey, the term is “manly”, not “mannish”. And Toots, you have some nerve complaining about harassment when you yourself in this very thread were making violent threats to other posters, which as I already stated is AGAINST THE RULES, even in the pit (at least I think it is…if it’s not, I’ll add it in right after I ban you).
I’ll go ahead and lock this thread now.
as soon as I figure out how to do that…
May all of you catch a “social disease” and remain disfigured for life.
I’m not sure when polite suggestions as to possible ways to shed this mortal coil came under the heading of threats, but I will post several different threads protesting this right after I write a strongly worded letter to Ed protesting your patronizing attitude, lead hand on the mouse, and the fact that these boards are going to the very depth of Hades in a small handheld woven container.
I hope that you neglect to change your air conditioning filter for an extended period of time and as a result your domicile becomes extremely dusty.
You all can go to a slightly less blissful state of eternal paradise.
Um, after you conclude your lives, the lengths of which I hope have not been altered in any way.
Walk east 'til your hat floats.
Playing in traffic is a great pastime. You should try it.
May you all enjoy a fruitful love life with your significant other until you expire of old age.
May something slightly unpleasant happen to you, like having an overripe orange fall on your head.