Where the promised 72 virgins are of advanced age, dubious continence, enfeebled understanding, and much given to garrulous recitations of their bodily infirmities.
FOAF
ETA: But as soon as you faint, I’ll rush right over with my smelling salts and call 911 (see how I cleverly skirted “the rules”?)
God, I hope you all get gunned down. By a nuclear bomb. With a gun.
Your mother was a cuddly rodent and your father had a fruity aroma.
This thread is scarcely more than a modest example of group self-pleasure.
May someone slow down a bit late and not quite as much when approaching you in crosswalks. May you be thereby mildly startled.
May you find something so extremely amusing on the Internet that you laugh until you lose control of your bladder and urinate on yourself.
May your eyebrows unite and your earwax fester.
All of you seem to have opinions different than mine.
I have absolutely no suggestions at all about what you should do that either changes those opinions or makes me feel better about mine.
I hope your kittens grow up to be aesthetically displeasing cats.
I respectfully suggest that all of you should attempt airborne coitus with a toroidal pastry engaged in circular self-locomotion at your earliest opportunity.
I wish upon you that your favorite book is remade into a motion picture production, helmed by Uwe Boll and starring Keanu Reeves.
I strongly suggest that most of the respondents to this thread are below average in many respects.
If you’d be so kind as to recline in this squashy, massaging armchair and watch this blu-ray version of your favorite movie on this ultra-wide screen TV — the movie has been remastered and edited to emphasize your favorite characters — and if you would also enjoy an endless supply of your beverage of preference served to you by a empathic automaton who knows your every desire even before you can know of it yourself… IN A DITCH!
I held out as long as I could.
Your mother has a predilection for military issue all-weather footwear.
Your momma’s so fat, her pants are a little snug.
I may, or may not, have had carnal knowledge of a close female relative of yours. Or perhaps a male relative, dependant upon the quantity of alcohol consumed at the time.
You’re all just pleasuring yourselves like someone who loves his parent.
Have a not completely nice day!
Not only that, but the marital status of your mother when she birthed you is in doubt.
I am of the opinion that you are the male child of an unpleasant female.