We in the Pit may be a lot of things, but ignorant of the basic societal niceties, we ain’t. 
[hijack]
I pit puppies for being soooooo cute!
[/hijack]
I’m new but I’m one of those kids always desperate to fit in…
You’re so cute, puppies and kittens send each other cards with your picture.
Fitting in yet? 
Isn’t your user name an implied threat?
Hey, we don’t take accusations like that lightly around here.
Your personal appearance is less than desirable, and your parents don’t understand basic fashion when they pick out your clothes.
I should like that you were brutally anally violated by a team of stunningly endowed men. I should further like that through no fault of your own, the stimulation of your prostate should cause you to loudly and obviously climax during said process. This would only naturally cause you to question your masculinity. Which is in point of fact the entire purpose of this exercise.
As a final addendum, your mother would be watching on closed circuit television.
May you eat a Rotten-Egg flavored-Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Bean.
What a bunch of leotards.
You, sir, are no gentleman!
Your mothers dress you funny.
May you live in interesting times.
Henceforth, whenever I enter a Pit thread I ask that you envision me wearing a top hat and monocle, clutching a fob watch in my hand.
Then you can be appropriately shocked when I bid you a good day in my haughtiest of tones!
Fighting you is why we are here, and you give meaning to our lives.
If you were my husband, I would put poison in your tea.
This sort of got me to wondering if Muslims say DOAF
Die Off and Fuck
Although I suppose suggesting that would still be illegal here, even if the death was all in a good cause with an earnest belief that croaking was worth it.
Dear, dear, I do believe you have led me to soil myself slightly (when I spat out some tea upon reading your impeccably worded repartee).
Madam, if I were your husband I would gladly drink it.
Someone had to say it!
Sir, your grotesque visage is mitigated only by breath so malodorous as to keep onlookers at a safe viewing distance.
I refer you to your socks, the holes in which you might find useful for sieving the larger of your teeth after I have knocked them from your tedious head.