Stupid stupid stuff in an otherwise okay movie

[Homer]

The Beach was acceptable. But that video game running moment, and the slow telescope walking. Ugh!! I can still see the cheesy smile, and the mechanically moving arms as he ran around in the video. Blech.

--Tim

[nevermore]

Well, if you'll settle for an ALMOST otherwise okay movie...

Wild Things. The scene where hot bitch is describing so-and-so raping her. She describes it all (very convincingly, I might add *stifling a guffaw*) and then says:

He raped me. He raped me on the floor of his shitty house!

like it would've been OK, if it was on a nice marble floor or a Persian rug, in a cozy little beach villa!!

[dylan_73]

The reason for The Matrix (humans as power supply).

[Hunsecker]

The bookends in Saving Private Ryan are the worst thing ever. As if we wouldn't care about the characters unless we see one as a crying old guy.

And on that theme, let me add:
The end of Schindlers List
The end of A League of Their Own

[Fretful Porpentine]

Well, I liked Four Weddings and a Funeral, except for the parts with Hugh Grant and Andie McDowell...

[Joe_Cool]

Originally posted by Fretful Porpentine
Well, I liked Four Weddings and a Funeral, except for the parts with Hugh Grant and Andie McDowell...

Hollow Man: The 2nd half of the movie, where it turns from a fair sci-fi flick into a crappy monster movie.

Event Horizon: The 2nd half of the movie, where it turns from an intriguing and interesting sci-fi flick into a crappy monster movie.

[Lizard]

I really liked Starship Troopers, except for the acting. And the dialogue. And the plot. Otherwise, it was great!


In Sling Blade Billy Bob Thornton's characters seems to think the local gay guy would make a good father figure for the kid. Maybe he would, but not in that town!

When Michael Douglas' character lets Sharon Stone's character tie him up in Basic Instinct. Yeah, that was intelligent.

[SaxFace]

I liked the Matrix up until they started smooching. What a downer and a terrible groaner.

[voguevixen]

Originally posted by Hunsecker
The bookends in Saving Private Ryan are the worst thing ever. As if we wouldn't care about the characters unless we see one as a crying old guy.

And on that theme let ME add...
The bookends of "The Green Mile." Took a perfectly good movie and made it useless feel-good pap. (So that's three then for Tom Hanks? What's his deal anyway?)

And Joe Cool...you are RIGHT ON about "Event Horizon." That was the one thing you didn't want, expect or even NEED with a cast like that.

[Jester]

Well, I'm not saying Entrapment was a good movie, by any means, but the ending was the most annoying thing I've ever had to watch. If I see just ONE more person dissapear behind a train, I'm gonna go postal.

[Ivar]

Originally posted by SaxFace
I liked the Matrix up until they started smooching. What a downer and a terrible groaner.

I agree wholeheartedly! What was that all about? It was stupid and thrown in for no reason whatsoever. It was a perfectly fine bit of rainyday entertainment until they screwed it up with that scene!

[CandyMan]

Said it before.... Willy Wonka, except for the bit where his mom sings.

[pldennison]

And on that theme let ME add...
The bookends of "The Green Mile." Took a perfectly good movie and made it useless feel-good pap.

"Feel-good pap"? Wait, wait . . . you mean the part where he has to watch his female friend at the old-folks home die (just like he had to watch his wife and son die), then he lays in bed each night wondering when he will get to die, and he feels his prolonged life and his suffering through the death of everyone he knows is God's punishment on him for allowing an innocent to be executed? That "feel-good pap"? Yeah, that's a real upper.

[jab1]

Chris Tucker's performance in The Fifth Element. Someone tell me what was Luc Bresson thinking?!?!?!

[Gregor Samsa]

I thought The Blair Witch Project was an okay movie (not a great one), but there were a couple of things that really irritated me about it (besides the character Heather).

1) You must have noticed which direction the stream was flowing when you walked into the bush. Once you find the stream, FOLLOW IT. How hard is that? Keep the stream in sight at all times, and FOLLOW IT.

2) When you're camping and you hear a threatening beast outside your tent, pretty much the worst thing you can do is to run full-pelt through the pitch-black forest. You're either going to run into the beast, or into a tree and knock yourself out cold, or you're going to take some branches across the eyes. Any way you slice it, you're worse off than if you had just stayed in the damned tent.

[gigi]

The stupid stupid idea of putting Keanu Reeves in "Much Ado About Nothing".

[Ptahlis]

An okay action flick with nifty effects, Independance Day really crapped all over itself with the stupid virus ploy.

The Phantom Menace elicited an audible groan from the audience when Anakin's "virgin birth" was revealed. (I was one of the many who was privileged to be disappointed by this movie on opening day.)

Just about any horror movie when, after half of the protagonists are horribly slain the remaining few develop the "You go that way, I'll go this way!" plan.

[EnochF]

Has anybody seen Witness for the Prosecution (1957)? It's a pretty cool murder mystery with a neat script based on an Agatha Christie novel, a cool lawyer character played by Charles Laughton, good direction by Billy Wilder, and a genuinely surprising Alfred Hitchcock Presents-style ending. It also stars Marlene Dietrich, who's very good as the unsympathetic German wife of the apparently innocent Defendant. Unfortunately, two-thirds of the way through this otherwise great movie, there's a scene where the lawyer meets with an "anonymous" informant, who is obviously... oh so very painfully obviously... Marlene Dietrich trying to pull off a Cockney accent. Folks, she can't do it. And later she "reveals" that she was the informant and lapses into the accent again. Poor Charles Laughton has to act surprised... (Don't worry. I still haven't given away the surprise ending, for those of you who still want to see it. It's a good film, really, but just be prepared for that one terrible scene.)

[sliv]

Mickey Rooney as Mr. Yunioshi in Breakfast at Tiffany's. Appalling. He's made up in yellow-face with buckteeth and glasses. It's so awful your mind almost can't accept what you're seeing. Really pulls down an otherwise excellent film.

Jar Jar Binks and the "virgin birth" from the Phantom Menace were also amazing missteps. Just dumb. What was Lucas thinking?

I also have to agree with the casting of Keanu Reeves in Much Ado About Nothing. And the casting of Keanu Reeves in Bram Stoker's Dracula.

[Spoke]

Ducky not getting the girl in Pretty in Pink. (I think it was originally scripted for the Duckman to get the girl, then it was changed to keep the movie from being a perceived as an endorsement of class warfare.)

[teela brown]

Night of the Hunter was a spectacularly haunting film, but it sure laid a couple of eggs. Namely, Peter Graves and Shelley Winters. Whatta couple of goofy roles! And that phony repetitive scream that Bob Mitchum supposedly gives out when Lillian Gish shoots him in the ass is just plain silly. Still, this is an ass-kicker of a film, and Charles Laughton's only directing job.

[bup]

The scandal in "Mr Smith Goes to Washington" doesn't make
any sense. Either the dam project would pay more for the
land, or the boy scouts (whatever they were called in the
movie) would. Jimmy Stewart just had to point out that
the land was being sold to the less-profitable party.

"Field of Dreams" except for the line, "I never saw my
dad so young - only after he had been worn down by time."
Yecch.

[pepperlandgirl]

And on that theme let ME add...
The bookends of "The Green Mile." Took a perfectly good movie and made it useless feel-good
pap. (So that's three then for Tom Hanks? What's his deal anyway?)

Uh, Sweetie? Did you read the book? I don't know if you noticed this or not, but the screenplay writer tried to keep it as true to the book as possible, and that's what happened in the book.
That, and what Phil said.

[Cervaise]

Big agreement on the Saving Private Ryan bookends. First time I saw the movie, they didn't bother me so much, because the rest of the film hit me so viscerally. Second time through, when I knew what was coming, the second bookend was like a fistful of shit on the forehead of the Mona Lisa. Totally irritating.

A few more:

Albert Brooks makes great movies, but almost to a one they have sucky endings. His most recent film The Muse had a pretty major misfire in the last five minutes, and his previous film Mother, after over an hour of pitch-perfect emotional satire, screwed the pooch so bad at the end I jumped off the couch and screamed at the TV (scaring my wife in the process).

I thought the recent Titan A.E. was pretty cool all around, except for the small detail of the storyline. Kind of a big hurdle to overcome, but the movie's still neat to look at.

Kenneth Branagh's Dead Again is an extremely fantastic movie, but is marred by two things: one, a rather amateurish bit of camerawork towards the end of the opening dream sequence, and a totally unnecessary gag reaction by Wayne Knight right after the bad guy buys it.

Mystery Men would have been a much more entertaining movie if the director had laid off the distracting wide-angle lens.

Pleasantville is great too, but the choice to take the climax into a courtroom was a pretty major misstep from which the movie almost doesn't recover.

Ronin is a lean, mean, very efficient spy thriller with two big problems: First, the tacked-on "romance" between Robert De Niro and Natasha McElhone (sp?), and the equally tacked-on coda where Jean Reno explains the theme of the film to anyone in the audience whose IQ hovers just below room temperature.

Eyes Wide Shut minus the digital blobs. Nuff said.

I mentioned this in another thread, but Miracle Mile would go from a good movie to a great one if they had handled the whole thing with the character played by Denise Crosby ("Tasha Yar" on Star Trek) differently.

The Insider would have worked better if the Unabomber bit had been better integrated into the main story, instead of sticking out to the side as an unconnected dead end.

That's enough for now. More as I think of them...

[PaperBlob]

Any scene with the assistant chief of police in Die Hard - I wince whenever I see those. Except for one line: "Guess we're gonna need some new FBI guys."

[Junior Spaceman]

A film I just saw a couple of days ago - Frequency. This has some really cool ideas, even though it brings the far superior Back to the Future to mind at times. My advice if you see it - leave the cinema (or turn off the video) two minutes before the credits roll - it's one of the most disgracefully manipulative pieces of fluff I've ever seen on a non-Disney Christmas movie (soppy song over slow motion 'growing up' footage). You'll know it when you hit it - it's the point you'll suddenly feel the urge to run to the bathroom.

HenrySpencer.

[DennisKy]

My personal un-favorite is The Shawshank Redemption, regardless of what my sister thinks of it. Actually, I liked it very much right up until the most necessary moment, when we learn Tim Robbins has been digging a tunnel behind his poster of Rita Hayworth/Marilyn Monroe/Racquel Welch for the last twenty freaking years!.

I don't know how many of you have ever worked in a prison (I worked in a large county jail, once), but the idea that a prisoner would be incarcerated underground, without being moved from the same cell, for such a long period was just too ludicrous to stand. As well as the idea that the head bull, in tossing the cell over all those years, would never ever have torn the poster from the wall to reveal the man-sized hole behind it. It's been a while since I've last seen it (despite TNT running it to death lately), but even if Robbins' character persuaded the warden to let him keep the cell over that length of time as a perk for skillfully cooking the prison books, this is too preposterous to swallow, and ruined my appreciation of the rest.

[Guinastasia]

Ever read the original Shawshank? It's by Stephen King, believe it or not, and the original title was Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption. It's in the collection Different Seasons, and it's great.

Okay on topic:
Flashdance: she does a cute little dance and gets into the Pittsburgh Ballet school? Um, hello, in what century? I believe the Pittsburgh Ballet school is one of the top ten schools of dance in the country. (I live in Pittsburgh). And you can't just audition for a ballet school-you have to start dance when you are very young, and the girl in the movie was 18. By that time, she should've been a professional. I would think she'd be too old to be accepted.

[JDeMobray]

While it isn't really a movie (I'm sure that there's a movie that I've seen that qualifies for this list, my brain is just completely frozen right now), have any of you ever seen Rent? Great musical, brilliant story, amazing songs. . . . .and the single most obviously tacked on ending in human history.

It reminds me of one P.D.Q. Bach Opera where 'the producer's of the day decided that only happy endings were good for the people and so at the last moment everyone is miraculously ressurected.' *BLECH*

[RealityChuck]

You're absolutely right about Rent. The ending is stupid and cheap. It reminded me of the Romeo and Juliet parody in Nicholas Nickerby.

What I get annoyed at is the "you're too dumb to figure things out, so we'll give everything away" voiceovers at the beginning of films. The Dark Crystal and Dark City are best viewed with the sound turned off for the first three minutes.

I think Alfred Hitchcock is one of the greatest, but the shot of the strangled woman in Frenzy -- complete with blaring music -- really stinks, especially after the brilliant track down the staircase a few minutes earlier.

[JoeyHemlock]

Originally posted by DennisKy
...but the idea that a prisoner would be incarcerated underground, without being moved from the same cell, for such a long period was just too ludicrous to stand

I think this is a case of your previous work experience tainting your view. I never thought of this (though it makes sense). As an engineer, I have similar problems when movies take short-cuts or just get things wrong, but I've learned just to remember it's fiction and move on.

[Clark K]

Originally posted by Hunsecker
The bookends in Saving Private Ryan are the worst thing ever. ...
And on that theme, let me add:
The end of Schindlers List
The end of A League of Their Own

I always thought the end of League of Their Own really added a little emotional heft to what had been a good but lightweight comedy. Sentimental, yes, but effective.

Schindler's List would have been a great movie even without the end scene, but I don't object to the ending. In fact, I think it gives the viewer a chance to "decompress" after the movie's emotional punch and also puts the events into context.

For a pleasant movie gone wrong, check out Space Cowboys. Nothing that takes place in orbit makes a lick of sense.

[capacitor]

In Independence Day, the Internet, which was designed for such a situation the Earth was in, wasn't used, until the virus transfer part (The advanced aliens have no firewalls? My home PC does!!)

[Homer]

Well he's bound to have more latitude as an inmate seeing as how he's making the Warden hundreds of thousands of bucks.

But as for the cell, he's not underground. He's on the second floor. When he gets to the maintenance area between cell blocks, if you notice, he climbs DOWN onto the shit pipe.

Perhaps this thread should have a spoiler warning?

--Tim

[DRY]

Originally posted by PaperBlob
Any scene with the assistant chief of police in Die Hard - I wince whenever I see those. Except for one line: "Guess we're gonna need some new FBI guys."

I didn't hate the assistant police chief ("Dwayne") quite as much as you did. I also liked that line where he's told that the FBI is here and Reginald Veljohnson's character asks him: "You want a breath mint?"

[Bad Hat]

Going back to that "Pretty In Pink" ending... I gotta agree with that one, and also, did anybody notice that in John Hughes' "Some Kind Of Wonderful" (which was basically just "pretty in pink" but gender reversed and kinda boring) the ending was: poor girl and pooor guy get together and decide rich love interest was actually a snot and that the poor friend was actually the REAL soul mate all along? Mixed messages from Mr. Hughes?

also: Alec Guiness (R.I.P.) in Lawrence of Arabia, he's usually great but that was basically blackface. Kinda embarrassing to watch now.

Francis McDormand having lunch with the Asian Guy in Fargo... huh?

[betenoir]

"Magnolia" - the part where the whole cast sings.

Some people think it's one of the high points of the film.
Other people, of course, don't like the movie at all.
Me, I love the movie (everybody go rent it right now) but I hated the stupid MTV moment.

I just saw "The Third Man" last night. Billiant. Classic. But what's with the music?

[KJ]

The other day I saw the movie The Cell, which just came out on Friday. FWIW, I recommend seeing the movie. It rocks. It might even become my favorite movie, now that I think of it...

Near the end of the movie, one of the characters must find a way to break a glass wall. There is water on the other side, so theoretically, if you broke the glass, the pressure from the water would instantly crash through the glass (I won't reveal anything else about the situation, because that would kind of spoil some of it.) He has a gun, so he shoots the glass 3 or 4 times. When that doesn't work, he picks up a pipe off the floor and smashes through the glass with it.

Now, I'm no scientist, but unless it was a really f**king heavy pipe, wouldn't you assume that a BULLET would have more force, in a more concentrated area, than the pipe?

(Note: This happens in real life, not inside anyone's mind. I'm pretty sure I'm not spoiling anything by that statement that isn't in the commercials.)

Other than that minor detail (which may actually even be right, I wouldn't know for sure) the movie was fantastic, and I recommend it.

[Rosebud]

Anakin's virgin birth and Keanu in Much Ado get my vote as well. Gotta add Labyrinth, too. I'm a sucker for fantasy movies. First time I saw it I was 14 and I loved it unreservedly. Then, almost 15 years later, I order it on DVD and sit down to watch it with my boyfriend, only to realize that:

a) Jennifer what'shername can't act her way out of a wet paper bag (or couldn't at the time-- I don't think I've seen anything else she's done).
b) Just because David Bowie's in a movie doesn't mean he should sing.

I still like the movie a lot, though. The ball scene is so wonderfully surreal, and hits on themes (like the Goblin King's desire to seduce the girl) that get glossed over in the rest of the film.

[Poysyn]

Hijack -

Rosebud - I find the book The Labyrinth to cover it much better, but of course most books do cover the material better.

[hawthorne]

(betenoir)
I just saw "The Third Man" last night. Brilliant. Classic. But what's with the music?

My favorite film. I think the zither music works. It is jarring, but that's the point: the main character (and most of the Americans) in the film don't know what they are doing, the English are useless, the Russians are plotting and the French don't care. The evil of the Nazis has gone, but evil remains in Vienna and Cotton's character - whilst decent - has no idea what to do. With his cheap Western-novel world-view he is morally at sea in a post-war world which is jauntily proceeding with his involvement but without his understanding. [pointy head off]

picmr

[Outrider]

Originally posted by Bad Hat
Francis McDormand having lunch with the Asian Guy in Fargo... huh?

This is probably one of my favorite scenes in the whole movie. I recently saw Rogert Ebert talking to Martin Scorcese about it on his show, and they both thought that this scene was brilliant.

If you think about it, the conversation is the turning point of the movie. Frances McDormand buys the guy's sob story, but later finds out from a friend that it was all bullshit. This revelation prompts her to be more skeptical of information that is given to her, and leads her to question William H. Macy for the second time, which eventually brings about his arrest.

If the conversation with the Asian guy had not happened, chances are that William H. Macy's character would have been able to dodge the law.

Also, it's just a funny scene

[Crunchy Frog]

Originally posted by Hunsecker
The bookends in Saving Private Ryan are the worst thing ever. As if we wouldn't care about the characters unless we see one as a crying old guy.

Also, no one has mentioned that the old guy is Private Ryan. From the beginning, it looks like he's having a flashback, and that it's supposed to be Tom Hanks, but at the end, it's Matt Damon - he wasn't even there through most of the film! And then, here's this old guy freaking out, asking his wife if he's a good man? WTF is she gonna say to that? Standing around all those graves, husband breaking down asking "Am I a good man?" She's gonna say what, "Well honey, there was that time . . . " The ending was too sappy and sentimental for me and marred an otherwise excellent film.

[Darqangelle]

Originally posted by RealityChuck
What I get annoyed at is the "you're too dumb to figure things out, so we'll give everything away" voiceovers at the beginning of films.

This is exactly why I liked the Director's cut of Bladerunner over the screen version.

[Revtim]

Originally posted by sliv
I also have to agree with the casting of Keanu Reeves in Much Ado About Nothing. And the casting of Keanu Reeves in Bram Stoker's Dracula.

And I would add the casting of Reeves in any speaking part whatsoever in anything above the level of "Bill And Ted's Excellent Adventure".

[BoBettie]

Like in Sleepy Hollow (which wasn't that great, but hey). They had to explain the entire movie at the end, including flashbacks just in case you were too dumb to figure it out. I hate that!!

[Fiver]

Raiders of the Lost Ark: We're given to believe that Indy is able to ride the back of a U-Boat all the way from the mid-Atlantic to the island of Malta, without the sub ever submerging (during a secret mission) and drowning him, and without any Germans in the conning tower seeing him.

The Magnificent Ambersons: The tacked-on "penitent" ending, which Welles had nothing to do with.

Back to the Future: The crypto-racist scene where Marvin Berry calls his cousin Chuck. "Isn't it great that white kid went back in time so the black folks could have their music?"

[Outrider]

Originally posted by Zette
Like in Sleepy Hollow (which wasn't that great, but hey). They had to explain the entire movie at the end, including flashbacks just in case you were too dumb to figure it out. I hate that!!

OK, everyone chill out. Narration and flashbacks are not inherently bad. They are only bad when they are abused by incompetent filmmakers. If you want to see excellent examples of narration and/or flashbacks, just look at:

1. The Shawshank Redemption
2. The Sixth Sense
3. The Usual Suspects
4. Fight Club
5. American Beauty

[RealityChuck]

There's nothing wrong with narration. What I object to is narration that gives away the story and is tacked on under the assumption that the audience is unable to think.

[Crunchy Frog]

Originally posted by Five
Back to the Future: The crypto-racist scene where Marvin Berry calls his cousin Chuck. "Isn't it great that white kid went back in time so the black folks could have their music?"

I think you're reading a little too much into that, Five. It was just a joke that Chuck Berry would be inspired by his own song. It's not as if Berry started Rock n Roll or anything.