OK, so I guess it’s not really news, but I just wanted to pit the way the way yupsters buy Lab puppies as some kind of child surrogate with absolutely NO clue what dog ownership entails, and yet expect everyone to treat it like “a child”, welcoming it into my home. If you have to have a child surrogate pet, consider getting one that won’t go around knocking over everything, jumping on people, coating everything in saliva, barking all night, leaving capital shits all over the yard, etc. If you absolutely *must * have a Lab and nothing else will do, at least consider training it and caring for it so that the previously mentioned behaviors don’t annoy others. Also, consider living far away from me.
Pitting a puppy!
How could you :(?
And for fuck’s sake, enough with the pictures with Santa and the Easter Bunny in the mall. It isn’t cute. It’s just pathetic.
This may be a mite prejudiced coming from a Lab owner, but I can easily think of a dozen or so other popular breeds that are louder, more rambunctious and prone to misbehavior. Lab pups do take some time to get socialized and need a firm hand in their formative, growth hormone-crazed years. If your peace and sense of smell as a neighbor is affronted, talk to these people and then if things don’t improve consult the Authorities.
Could it be though, that the problem here is Brain Wreck is used to getting all the biscuits and pats on the head when he visits these people, and now the Lab is getting all the attention? 
Might not hurt to get yourself a copy of Marley & Me: Life and Love with the World’s Worst Dog before taking one on, but sheesh, BW, if you gotta pit someone, does it have to be the cute widdle puppies?
Hello Toledo! (edo-edo-edo) We’re (e’re-e’re-e’re) the Capital Shits! (its-its-its)
I’m saving the Easter Bunny pit for Easter.
Puppy breath.
Not that they can help it, but, damn.
It’s not the Lab’s fault. They don’t get sent their brains until they are two to three years old.
May I suggest the Great Dane as being near the top of that list? <shuddering>
BTW, and compared to some of the less popular breeds… Labs are problem-free. Not “relatively problem-free,” not “practically problem-free.” Problem-free. (I want an Otterhound. I have to be able to live far from neighbors before I can get one, though.)
Hmm.
I’m trying real hard right now to imagine a thread pitting sleek, cuddly British Shorthair kittens. And failing.
Almost as hard as I was trying earlier today to imagine a former prostitute running for Congress, and expecting it to stay under wraps, if she was female.
Simple. Let them mistake your clean laundry basket for a litterbox. Routinely.
But if you sniff the paw pads, they smell like popcorn.
And the best part about the “capital shits” is that you can practice your bunker shot by pitching the turd over the fence into the alley (or your neighbor’s yard). I shaved about 10 strokes off my game in one season this way.
Oooh, puppies!
Pictures?
While I could never pit puppies, some people should not have labs. My dad’s girlfriend has to give her chocolate lab away because the dog routinely trashes her house, has bitten open a bleach container and burned her mouth and feet, eaten off the molding in the kitchen, and breaks out of every crate she buys her.
Labs need to be trained young, and they also seem prone to separation anxiety. They need to be around people, and if you work or aren’t home 12 hours a day, then the labs is not the dog for you.
Maybe it’d be better to pit people who get purebred dogs who aren’t suited to them than the dogs themselves.
I can’t pit labs. My favorite dog in the world is my parents’ yellow lab. He’s hilarious, smart, fun, playful, affectionate, and Happy! About! Everything!
I would extend this pitting to people who acquire pets they don’t know how to handle, whatever species of pet. Also to people who breed said pets who have no business doing so who turn out dogs like my parents’ other dog, an intensely neurotic golden. He’s sweet, but oy vey, he’s messed up.
I love my Lab. She’s pretty good, though she’ll eat any food item within grasp if I’m not careful.
I’d much rather see a rant on the topic in general, rather than breed-specific. My Bella was a handfull, but was relatively easy to train(with the exception of the food thing; which she’ll never outgrow). My neighbor on the other hand, got a yellow lab from a local breeder and this little thing was the most god-awful animal on the face of the earth.
She had to be walked MILES every night just so the lady could get some peace after getting home from work. She would jump on the crotch of every grown man she came into contact with. Honestly, there was something wrong with her.
I know of many different people, owning many different breeds of dogs that shouldn’t own them. It’s not breed-specifc, it’s person-specific.
Sam
I agree, you should be pitting the owners instead of these wondeful pups. My golden (who is basically a lab with about ten pounds of hair) is so eager to please he pretty much trained on his own account. It’s the owner’s fault if he doesn’t get that precious pup to deliver the mail on his bed. 