Good day. I am Merlyn. I have been a cat for over 14 years. Any questions?
Who was in the grassy knoll?
Merlyn:
Is that 14 in cat years, or people years?
What does cat food REALLY taste like?
Who’s funnier, Bucky or Mooch?
Miaow-miaow very miaow in miaow-miaow Bradley M3A3 Fighting Vehicle System miaow?
When you’re giving yourself a bath, and you’re doing your shoulder, what is it that makes you suddenly want to lick your foot? Or vice versa?
Who’s a kitty?
Whoooo’s a kitty kitty kittykittykitty?
Does the fact that your owner has almost killed the plant sitting behind you concern you in any way?
Do you have anything to do with this plant being on life support?
Meeeyou later.
Heh. Inigo you are a Goddamned genius.
Why do your fellow felines, who have had a luxurious cat suite built for them complete with carpeted shelves, a sofa, a recliner, and a crib, insist on sitting on a hard wooden desk or crowding 3 or 4 at a time onto an office chair?
So Merlyn, do you really taste like chicken?
Dear Cat,
How do I tell them apart:
[ul]
[li]the Playful Attack on the other cat in the house, and[/li][li]The Vicious Hit-and-run Attempt at inflicting maximum damage in split seconds? [/li][/ul]
Both seem to result in the other cat fleeing under the cupboard, and I have a hard time seeing the difference.
:: stern look ::
You took my question!
You guys do realize that cats sleep like 22 hours a day, so Merlyn won’t be back to answer your questions for awhile, right?
Dear Merlyn:
Why does my boy cat like the get his freak on with my girl cat even though there’s nothing left ‘down there’? I feel like I need to put my poor girl cat into counseling.
Dear Merlyn,
Have you ever considered a vegetarian diet?
–A small, furry animal
Yeah. Are you drinking again?
Dear Merlyn,
what is your opinion regarding hairless cats?
How, specifically, did you damage your human for compelling you to pose in that goofy hat?
“Awhile”? He’s a fricking cat! He forgot about the thread two minutes after starting it.
Dear Merlin,
In my experience, black-and-white cats tend to be very cuddly. Are you very cuddly?