Specifically, why did you leave 2 chicken casseroles, one cola, an assortment of chopped vegetables and a serving spatula on my back deck? I know you are Steve and Michelle, because you left a nice note, but WHO are Steve and Michelle? Is this a traveling buffet that arrived at the wrong house, or a trap by an unknown archenemy?
Mysterious indeed.
Maybe Steve and Michelle is a codeword for “God”.
I take it you didn’t just move into the neighborhood?
Then, it’s likely it was intended for a friend or relative and Steve and Michelle got the wrong address. It sounds like “funeral food” to me.
I just had another thought… (why does this always happen right after I already hit post?)
Steve and Michelle?
S & M?
Maybe someone is trying to drop you a little hint.
You can’t do S&M with parrots around. If they learn the safeword you can’t even get things started…
Three hours ago, four blocks away:
Agent Ignatz: Roxana! We’ve been found!
Agent Roxana: (Twists his ear) Idiot! What is my name?
Agent Ignatz: Name? It’s Rox – erk! – Michelle! You are Michelle!
Agent Roxana: And you are–
Agent Ignatz: (Mechanically, rattling it off) I-am-your-husband-Steve-we-met-at-a-party-seven-years-ago-and-have-been-together-ever-since-isn’t-it-romantic-you-love-Tupperware-but-are-allergic-to-cats-I-mow-the-lawn-every-Tuesday-at-6:00-and-have-a-comically-embarrassing-foot-odor-problem-about-which-we-talk-a-little-too-much-after-three-drinks-but-that’s-perfectly-normal-for-average-suburban-Americans-like-us.
Agent Roxana: Very good, Steve. (Menacingly) And when do we break cover on assignment?
Agent Ignatz: N–ouch! Never!
Agent Roxana: Thank you, Steve. (Releases his – okay, it wasn’t his ear) Now what were you saying?
Agent Ignatz: The message drop has been compromised. I saw evidence of tampering. The container had been resealed, but not burped.
Agent Roxana: Then it couldn’t have been the Americans. Perhaps the Chinese. In any case, you’re right. We have to stash the microfilm somewhere – not in this house.
Agent Ignatz: I’ll eat it.
Agent Roxana: No! We’ll want it back intact. Besides, you eat too much microfilm as it is. You even ate an unexposed roll out of my camera last week.
Agent Ignatz: (Quietly) I can quit anytime I want to.
Agent Roxana: You’re quitting today. I’ll hide the microfilm in a chicken casserole and we’ll dump it on a neighbor.
Agent Ignatz: What happened to wanting it back?
Agent Roxana: Has five years in the suburbs taught you nothing? Whoever we give this to will feel obligated to return the favor in a few days. But she’d no more cook for strangers than eat what we give her. She’ll return the Tupperware with this same casserole in it, along with a note saying how delicious mine was and she hopes we’ll like her recipe as much. Maybe she’ll dump some sage or paprika all over the top to disguise it. Where do you think we got the casserole in the first place? It came with the house.
Agent Ignatz: Wow. That Tupperware’s powerful stuff.
Agent Roxana: Okay, the microfilm’s in place. Take it to the house on the corner – the one with the deck in back. Leave it on the deck with a note so she’ll know where to return it.
Agent Ignatz: Okay, but I feel kind of bad involving a civilian. If the Chinese cartel suspected she had this, Wo Fat would roast her over a slow fire.
Agent Roxana: There’s no reason for anyone to suspect her involvement. It’s just a simple neighborly gesture. What’s she going to do, broadcast it over the internet?
Well? Did you eat it?
Adam
Dear King of Soup,
'Ya know, you’re really NOT supposed to teach the newbies our SOP. Just because you used a casserole and not the 2005 soup version doesn’t mean the unfriendlies aren’t gonna read this…and learn.
When will we quit giving away national secrets around here?? Huh?
Otherwise, I’d love to collaborate with you on my screenplay. Makes it so much easier when one doesn’t have to write ALL the ‘call and response’ lines, eh?
Gave me a great giggle on a night like this. Kudos on your creativity.
d
YOU!! I leave my dinner for just one minute on your back porch and you just take it into your house and assume it’s yours?!? The gall of you people!
You’ll be getting no more casseroles/colas/cutlery/chopped veggies from us!
That was not a gift, it was a sacrifice/my dinner, and you ruined it. The casserole god will not be happy. To attone for this you must, cover your bedsheets with tartar sauce, pour all of your milk into the heating ducts, and leave your refrigerator door open for a week.
After that, you may beg for forgiveness.
Interestingly enough, my name is Michelle, and my husband’s name is Steve. But we haven’t left food for anyone any time recently. Or at all, come to think of it. Unless we’re sleep-cooking and sleep-delivering and sleep-note-writing, which could explain why we’ve been so tired of late.
But I’m pretty sure it wasn’t us.
What did the note say?
Perhapse it was a presant for someone else, when S&M discovered at the last possible moment they were a vegitarian they had to quickly dump the food they had brought with them in order not to make a fuss?
…ooh, can I watch?
Like a fly on the wall.
Just give me the standard CSI menthol stuff to smear on my upper lip. Its usually the smell that gets 'em. But so…informative, no?
d
Hey… yeah. Did they leave any…I don’t know…CARROTS or CUCUMBERS in with those veggies? Did you know you could give a solid spanking with a spatula and then insert the other end into various orifices?
I think they’re waiting for you to get naughty so they can take pictures from their hidden location.
Oh my God, that’s hilarious. I just e-mailed it to my boyfriend.
Back to the OP, are we talking a two-liter bottle of cola, or just a can? If they left two chicken casseroles and chopped veggies and only a can of Coke to wash it all down with, that makes it even weirder. Of course, if they’d left a whole fried chicken and a Coke, then we’d know exactly who it was.
OK conurepete, did you eat the Chicken Casseroles?
Unless maybe you’ve been taking Ambien. 
• If you experience any of the following serious side effects, stop taking Ambien and seek emergency medical attention:
· an allergic reaction (difficulty breathing; closing of your throat; swelling of your lips, face, or tongue; hives); or
· hallucinations, abnormal behavior, or severe confusion.
• Other, less serious side effects may be more likely to occur. Continue to take Ambien and talk to your doctor if you experience
· headache, drowsiness, dizziness, or clumsiness;
· nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, or constipation;
· depression;
· muscle aches or pains;
· cooking random meals for unknown strangers;
· vivid or abnormal dreams; or
· amnesia (memory loss) after a dose.
• A problem that may occur when sleep medicines are stopped is known as “rebound insomnia.” This means that a person may have more trouble sleeping the first few nights after the medicine is stopped than before starting the medicine. If you should experience rebound insomnia, do not get discouraged. This problem usually goes away on its own after 1 or 2 nights
• Ambien is habit forming. Stopping this medication suddenly can cause withdrawal effects if you have taken it continuously for several weeks. Talk to your doctor about the safe use of this medication.
• Side effects other than those listed here may also occur. Talk to your doctor about any side effect that seems unusual or that is especially bothersome.
That’s what I thought - it sounds like ‘church food.’
Maybe for a family in need or with a new baby or a sick or hospitalized family member or who’ve had a recent death. My church sends dinners to members in one of those situations complete dinners (prepared and delivered by members) all the time. I’m betting that Steve and Michelle got the wrong address.
The mysterious food appearance has put my husband in a state of high alert. We have not eaten it. I feel that high alert is probably not needed, the trolls next door send bikers with death threats or weedwackers, a subtle poisoning plot is beyond them.
The cola is a 2-liter.
I have identified a possible Steve, but he is on the Atkins diet and unlikely to give regular cola. Also, I have never seen him with anyone that looks like a possible Michelle.
Jay Jay, that is hilarious.
Good point, though. The household parrots may be involved. Zazu likes to push buttons on the phone and talk into it, and the timneh grey is named…STEVE. He even refers to himself in the third person. They might have ordered a delivery meal, then been foiled by the locked back door. I will make sure they don’t have access to any credit cards. Meanwhile, the cassarole is quietly evolving.
You mean that Life Begins With Cassarole?
Oh man…church is gonna smell so good!