So I drop The Littlest Briston off at day care on Monday. While there, I notice a note another parent left on a table:
“Cupcakes are for Timmy’s birthday party”
Mmmm…cupcakes.
I drop off the kid, turn to leave, and notice another note taped to the fridge:
“Please take a picture of Timmy eating his cupcake”
Cupcakes…<drool>…
Ok, gotta get to work. All day, the though of how good a cupcake would taste is in the back of my mind. Lunchtime rolls around…time to go pick up the little one.
I pick her up, and as I’m leaving one of the workers stops me and says “Oh, it’s one of the kid’s birthday today. His mom made snacks for everyone…you’ll find one in your bag.”
Woohoo! Score! Cupcake for me! In! your! face!, non-cupcake-having world!
I race home, chuck the kid in her swing, and tear open the daybag. Tossing aside backup diapers and bibs, I find a good-sized opaque plastic bag, tied nicely with a bow. “Oooo…”, thinks me, “maybe there’s two cupcakes in here!”
Contents of the bag:
One (1) 4.23 oz. box of Juicy Juice (apple flavor)
One (1) 1.3 oz. bag of Goldfish Colors crackers
One (1)…well, I don’t know what the hell it is. Some sort of large, unlabeled cracker with the word “Gerber” baked into it
Zero (0) fucking cupcakes
When I went back yesterday, it took all my inner strength not to find Timmy, wait in the bushes for his mother to arrive, and spring out screaming “You bitch!! Where the fuck is my damn cupcake?!” I think that might affect my little girl’s welcomeness at day care, though. I mean, what kind of nerve does it take to leave teasing little signs like that all over the place, just to crush a man’s dreams in such a heartless fashion?
Here we are, two days later, and I’m still jonesing for a cupcake.