I bring this question to this forum looking for some kind of advice or answers, I do not expect it to be any kind of substitute for a doctor but I would like some opinions on if it is serious enough to seek some kind of help seeing as how there is no conceivable way I could afford it at this point.
As a little background on myself, I have always been a sane and rational person with no family history of mental illness. I do not know if this has any relevance to the situation but at the age of 12 I discovered that occasionally I have hyponopompic hallucinations (short hallucinations upon waking up), it scared me at first but I quickly read up on it and I was fine with it…It happened less frequently and I found it to be an interesting quirk more than a problem. I only mention this because it may be some indication of the weirdness of my brain…Although other than that I have been the picture of mental health and always had complete control of my mental faculties.
My problem started when as a group my friends and I ingested marijuana in the form of brownies, for clarification I am far from a drug head, normally the hardest drug I take is Advil. I had only tried marijuana in smoking form two times in my life, the most recent of which was a year ago. Both times I felt no effect whatsoever so had no desire to try it again, that is until I was told that maybe I would feel effects from ingestion. Based on my study of the drug I found no indication that it was anything but mild which greatly adds to my confusion of the situation.
The first time we had the brownies I did indeed fell “high” for the first time in my life, the extent of which was a case of the giggles. I found it an enjoyable experience so I agreed to try it again a few weeks later. The second time was going much the same way, we sat playing video games as the effects began to set in, I was having a good time and laughing with my friends, I sat back on the couch and closed my eyes for a moment and then it all got crazy…What I felt that night wasn’t in my wildest imagination what I would have even imagined for an acid trip, much less simple marijuana…the very same that my friends had also consumed and had no such affects. I will try my best to describe the sensations but much it is very hard to put into words.
As I sat back i felt very comfortable, I felt a kind of comfort wash over me I began to feel what I can only describe as an “out of body” experience. Of course I know it wasn’t any such thing, but I felt myself separating from…myself. I then remember feeling a moment of fear, then in the very next instant of my perception I was on the other side of the room, crouched on the floor and screaming. It was complete and under terror. My world was violently spinning around me, I looked around and saw everything around me but my brain could not process has the space went together…This disorientation scared me more as my friends tried to talk me down. I don’t know what I thought drug trips were, but I never imagined they were so world crushingly literal.
I began to calm down slightly and I tried to move around, I felt very detached from reality which was horrifying, I went around the house touching and fondling objects to try to “grasp on” to physical reality. About this time my rational mind set back in which added a whole new element of fear as I realized I should NOT be going through this on account of a little marijuana. In my worst fears I would be like this forever, never able to come back to reality…I keep holding on to images of me being in a mental ward somewhere unable to live and unable to die.
My friends did a very good job of talking to me and making me feel a level of comfort, I began to feel I was “coming back” so I tried to talk to them about how I was feeling…I felt very embarrassed. It wasn’t long before the sensations came back in near full force. I was getting more scared that this seemingly would not go away. I began to notice that there seemed to be a kind of rift in my brain between the part that made decisions and the part that executed them…As a result it felt like my body was moving on its own. This went on for hours as I slipped into varying stages of scared out of my mind and relaxed (although still felling crazy).
As I was coming down the crazy fear began to fade and my world was more or less grounded, but I still felt as though my body was out of control. Even though I was moving my arm myself, when my arm actually moved the actual physical sensation of it seemed to…lag. I don’t know how else to put it. I ate some food and felt the extremely odd sensation in my mouth of delayed sensation. It was so very indescribably weird. I finally went to bed that night and slept for 8 hours, I woke up and took a shower, I was once again calm and rational but I still felt the “delayed sensation” feeling all over my body. It was unreal. After sleeping for a few more hours I finally woke back up feeling normal again. I felt very very lucky to be “back”.
Now by itself I would have marked this off as a bizarre life experience and a lesson to never touch any kind of drug again, but I began to have more and more hyponpompic hallucinations, which I didn’t think much of. About five nights later I woke up in the middle of the night and felt exactly as I did as I was coming down from the bad trip that night…The delayed sensation effect was going full force, primarily in my mouth. I immediately went back to bed…So it was easy for me to excuse it as another halucination. Last night however I awoke in the middle of the night feeling normal, I went to take a shower and in the middle of the shower I began to feel the sensation in my mouth and face again. I remained calm but I began to think there was something wrong with my brain, I went back to bed.
Now this morning I got up and went on with my life as normal, then here in mid day the very odd sensation returned in my mouth and as I type this now I still feel a sort of delayed physical sensation in my mouth, swallowing and drinking feel very very strange. This marijuana event was weeks ago so it if far beyond the time when I could still be feeling effects from the drug itself. Until that night I had never felt anything like this in my entire life. I will once again mention that my friends ate from the same batch I did and felt nothing more than normal effects. So what on earth could this be? Should I wait and hope this eventually passes?
If anyone has any possible answer or advice for me I would be so glad to hear it. This is not anything that is hurting me or my life at the moment…But my curiosity is extreme and I want to know if this is potentially serious. Once again I stress that this sensation is very very real and physical and apparently random, I don’t suspect it is psychosomatic in any way. Thanks for any input